Search Results: should i stay away from him

Growing up, my father was very neglectful and cold, and whenever he did decide to pay attention to me, he would terrorize me. When my mother would go to work and left me at home with him, I was never fed, bathed, or shown affection. If I tried to get him to notice me, he would scream at me to “Go away!” or “Leave me alone!” I would tell my mother all the time what he would do, and she never did anything about it and still stayed with him, no matter what. Mind you, I was 4-6 years old when I had to endure this bullshit. At an age I couldn’t take care of my own needs. Also, this is all just a small portion of what he did.

As I got older into my teenage years from the age of 9, things have changed, but he kept his neglectful ways. My mother was still with him, and she would always say “I know he doesn’t show it, but he does love you.” She just didn’t want to leave because, yet again, she was dependent. I will admit that I had a terrible attitude, but it was mostly because I hated my family. I still do. I hated the fact that I had to fucking deal with a father who didn’t give one single shit about me or well-being, and a passive aggressive mother who let him do whatever he pleased. He would drink beer every fucking day, and whenever he got drunk, he acted like an intolerable, blunt asshole who would mock and make fun of me for everything. I was sick and fucking tired of it. Seriously.

Okay, GAG, what do you think that I should do?

Just under a month ago my ex tried to add my mom on Facebook. This ex and I have not spoken in 4 years. He didn't like my mom when we lived together but she helped him as best she could by getting him a job and phone and letting him live with us. We had a lot of firsts together and I cannot stop wondering why he reached out to my mom of all people. Mom called me and asked what I wanted and a day later I told her to deny it. In that time frame he deleted and resent the request. He never messaged her or myself though. Should I reach out and ask him what it was about or leave it be? Both myself and my mother are in long term relationships and I don't think he would intentionally try to manipulate me. It was a 3 year relationship that lasted from 15-18 but we met and I originally fell in love with him at 11. He had moved away and as soon as we could we were together. After the breakup at 18 we stayed in and out of contact and hooked up for 6 months when I was 20. Since then there's been no contact and I don't know what to do and cannot stop fixating.