My husband and I differed on the subject of breastfeeding. He was so incredibly supportive during the first year, I can’t say enough about it. After which point, he wanted to try weaning him away from the breast. Against, my own instincts, I did offer him other things and was pleased to find that he still liked my milk best. Yay! Now when he was between the ages of 1 & 3.5 years old, my husband begrudgingly didn’t say anything, but I knew he wished we’d be done. It hurt his feelings when he would bring him home from a long day at work and they had 1-2 hours to spend together, but all our son could talk about was mama coming home so he can nurse. What can I say? He’s a mama’s boy. He still is. I don’t think weaning was going to change that. My in-laws definitely we not supportive and thought he should have been weaned long before (I’m sure my husband heard it from them, and I’m glad he didn’t share it with me). My parents, to my surprise, were incredibly supportive. They figured he would stop when he’s ready. And guess what, he did. Go mom and dad!
At 28 months old (months at that age are really only relevant for breastfeeding but he was nearly 2.5), politely would politely ask and sign “nurse, please” or say “wanna nurse.” I’m wasn’t sure how long he would nurse, or if we were doing child led weaning or not, but I did know that neither he nor I were ready to be done yet. Nursing was such a blessing, especially during times of sickness. When he refuses to eat or drink anything, he would still nurse and I was confident he was staying hydrated and getting nutrition. My breasts seemed to be pretty flexible too, he could nurse twice one day and eight+ times the next and I feel neither empty nor engorged.
I say all of this because my husband not supporting me and caused lasting damage to our marriage.
Before I actually breastfed I thought my maximum was age 2. Then my child reached age 2 and I had tried to wean him. Offering him sippy cups of milk which he threw across the room in anger and distress because he didn’t just want milk; he wanted comfort and security and love from his mom. That was the day I realized I would not be putting an expiration on breastfeeding my children.
That child stopped breastfeeding, on his own, at age 3.5, when I was pregnant with his brother. I think my milk changed.
I breastfed my second child with zero end dates because I knew better. I felt it was time days before his 4th birthday and I was able to gently wean him without emotional distress.
The amount of judgement and lack of understanding is so very sad.
Thank goodness for organizations like La Leche League, IANtB, the Leaky B@@b and KellyMom for showing me how normal and natural it is to breastfeed a toddler. I can’t even express how much I valued their support when I lacked support in other areas of my life.
Thank you so much for reading. Any negative comments you can keep to yourself. I don’t need them.
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