The Conclusion of My Breastfeeding Journey with my Older Son

loves2learn m
Multitasking - feeding and playing with a truck
Multitasking - feeding and playing with a truck

My husband and I differed on the subject of breastfeeding. He was so incredibly supportive during the first year, I can’t say enough about it. After which point, he wanted to try weaning him away from the breast. Against, my own instincts, I did offer him other things and was pleased to find that he still liked my milk best. Yay! Now when he was between the ages of 1 & 3.5 years old, my husband begrudgingly didn’t say anything, but I knew he wished we’d be done. It hurt his feelings when he would bring him home from a long day at work and they had 1-2 hours to spend together, but all our son could talk about was mama coming home so he can nurse. What can I say? He’s a mama’s boy. He still is. I don’t think weaning was going to change that. My in-laws definitely we not supportive and thought he should have been weaned long before (I’m sure my husband heard it from them, and I’m glad he didn’t share it with me). My parents, to my surprise, were incredibly supportive. They figured he would stop when he’s ready. And guess what, he did. Go mom and dad!

At 28 months old (months at that age are really only relevant for breastfeeding but he was nearly 2.5), politely would politely ask and sign “nurse, please” or say “wanna nurse.” I’m wasn’t sure how long he would nurse, or if we were doing child led weaning or not, but I did know that neither he nor I were ready to be done yet. Nursing was such a blessing, especially during times of sickness. When he refuses to eat or drink anything, he would still nurse and I was confident he was staying hydrated and getting nutrition. My breasts seemed to be pretty flexible too, he could nurse twice one day and eight+ times the next and I feel neither empty nor engorged.

I say all of this because my husband not supporting me and caused lasting damage to our marriage.

Before I actually breastfed I thought my maximum was age 2. Then my child reached age 2 and I had tried to wean him. Offering him sippy cups of milk which he threw across the room in anger and distress because he didn’t just want milk; he wanted comfort and security and love from his mom. That was the day I realized I would not be putting an expiration on breastfeeding my children.

That child stopped breastfeeding, on his own, at age 3.5, when I was pregnant with his brother. I think my milk changed.

I breastfed my second child with zero end dates because I knew better. I felt it was time days before his 4th birthday and I was able to gently wean him without emotional distress.

The amount of judgement and lack of understanding is so very sad.

Thank goodness for organizations like La Leche League, IANtB, the Leaky B@@b and KellyMom for showing me how normal and natural it is to breastfeed a toddler. I can’t even express how much I valued their support when I lacked support in other areas of my life.

Thank you so much for reading. Any negative comments you can keep to yourself. I don’t need them.

The Conclusion of My Breastfeeding Journey with my Older Son
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Most Helpful Guys

  • t-8900
    I think your approach was for the best for the mental and emotional health of your childm however I do know of one mother who still breastfeeds all 3 children with one of them being 9 years old and all of them coming around at once to feed. I feel that at the that point the oldest will be too depent on his mother perhaps. But I am happy that your son weened off when he was ready. Perhaps this gives us some enlightenment on the natural way of things. In a world that can seem so lonely and cruel it's beautiful to see such love still flourish between mother and child. I never experienced the love of a mother so I have a lot of issues with my mental health. That said I'm so glad your children won't go through the same thing. This journey has been heartwarming to me and brings joy. Thank you for sharing.
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • I had a friend breastfeed her kids to ages 7 & 8. That would have been tough for me but I supported her. Her oldest had weaned but when his grandma died he returned to mom’s breast for comfort.

      It breaks my heart you did not experience the love of a mother. Every child deserves to have that.

      I am so happy you find my accounts of parenting my sons therapeutic.

    • t-8900

      I often worry because of that I might be passed over as a mate. I sometimes have some emotional issues but a big heart to give. I am very socially nervous around women even though I've had a few gfs. I wish I knew how to pick them out better so I wouldn't constantly be getting cheated on. I guess I'm seen as a weak man for showing my emotions and just being real to my own heart.

    • Were you able to bond with a caregiver as a baby? It is so important for babies to bond with someone. My babies of course bonded with me through breastfeeding. My nephew was formula fed and bonded with his stay at home dad. It is important for babies to have that security and connection in order to bond through relationships when they are adults.

      Cheating is a huge betrayal. I am sorry that happened to you.

    • Show All
  • BeachLuvR97
    I don't see why people get so bent out of shape. Let the children nurse! It's good for them. It's CALM and QUIET. Think back to watching Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Even adults can watch the show. It was not successful because of overly stimulating the brain. It was calm and sweet and caring.

    "Let's give the kids a sugary drink, get them all wound up, make them play 8 sports..." NO! Calm down and relax! BREATHE!
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • So true! Mr. Rogers featured breastfeeding mothers too. Quality show.

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What Girls & Guys Said

511
  • Lliam
    Very interesting series of MyTakes, loves2learn.
    I had no opinions on the subject because I had no experience or knowledge about it.
    I never had any interest in kids and didn't get married until I was 42. My wife was 40. We had both lived fun lives before we met each other.
    We never had any kids and are both totally okay with that. So your MyTakes were illuminating.
    I'm really glad that your boys turned out so well. You are a great mom.
    Like 1 Person
    • Thank you so much for reading and for the support. I am delighted you found them illuminating. :)

  • Subarugirl
    It’s up to the child, from what I have experienced when they are really you it’s as much for comfort as it is for nutrition. Everyone is different but I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months because of work and tried to pump but it didn’t really work out and I feel like I missed out on so so much :( it was too soon to stop.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Definitely for comfort too! I had some regrets with having to feed my oldest some formula. It was very healing for me to donate 2000 oz with my second child. Hindsight is 20/20. Don’t beat yourself up. Snuggle your little guy. 🥰

  • Daniela1982
    Wait, was La Leche the same thing as a lecher? If you describe a man as a lecher, you disapprove of him because you think he behaves in a way that shows he is only interested in other people sexually. Lecher - a man given to excessive sexual indulgence; a lascivious or licentious man. So in other words if a man is interesting in seeing titty when a woman is breast feeding he would be a lecher.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • Shamiah02
    Your child, anyone nosey ass karen tryin to tell you what to do, can kiss ya ass.
    You know we live in a country filled with people who think their opinions rival the lord, but the truth is they just people who life is miserable, and done nothing with their life, so they try to judge others to feel better bout their lives.
    So laugh at them and keep it moving
    Like 1 Person
    • Your assessment is spot on. Nosey ass judgy bitches who just had themselves lol

    • Shamiah02

      Yup, and they opinions are as important to me as a cockroach

    • 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • Show All
  • exitseven
    I remember having breastfed my own kids and I honestly do not remember them doing it longer than 18 months maybe. I can remember just a short time when my wife was double teamed by two hungry babies.
    Thanks for all the detail and thoughtfulness you put into this series. I learned a lot.
    Like 1 Person
    • Tandem nursing! I love it! Every child has their own timeline that works for them. I am glad you enjoyed the series. Thank you for the support.

    • exitseven

      no charge. 😀😀😀😀

  • matchrestore
    That's one thing my wife and I agreed on, our son would breastfeed until he was ready to ween on his own.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • I love that! I really do. Wish we had been able to come to that agreement. My husband still maintains he wishes our oldest weaned sooner. He wasn’t as bothered by it with our youngest

    • I did get a little envious of my son spending far more time with my wife (whenever she was home at least) but, I think she was envious of me not constantly having our son clinging to me.

    • I can relate to that. Yes. My kids clung to me when breastfeeding.

      My husband put them to bed and would often bathe them, burp them and change diapers. He would also play/lightly wrestle with them. There are many ways to bond.

  • Charliefretz329
    For most women it’s weaning time when the babies start to bite the nipples with their new teeth. How did you overcome that? Mine quit about 1 yr old because they were fully eating solid food of great variety and started chewing nipples
    Like 1 Person
    • And they didn’t show any emotion or care when momma quit.

    • My kids didn’t bite me. They loved nursing. At that point they mostly nursed at transitional times like before or after nap or bed. My oldest struggled with things like having to leave the library or a playdate and sitting to nurse him for a few minutes was like a reset.

  • meetkitty123
    With my first child I had a lot of problems with her father thinking it was gross and that I shouldn't have done it with my second child his father was more supportive of me nursing but he would get upset that the child wouldn't even take a bottle for him even if the bottle was full of breast milk but I think it was more cuz his father didn't know how to use the bottle it was a special breastflow bottle that literally mimics latching on and it goes slow the baby's father actually would try to put the milk in a plain bottle which would make it flow too fast for him and the baby didn't like it cuz he choke on it. After some trial and error his father did manage to figure out the breast flow and things went smoother. My second child I've had continue to breastfeed to just about kindergarten.
    Like 1 Person
    • I am so glad you were able to breastfeed them longer despite him not supporting.

  • MTC29
    I don't even like small children, but he's cute. I've read that the taste and quality of the milk produced by women who become pregnant and are nursing changes. I imagine it's a natural mechanism to break their older children from nursing in order to free up milk production for the new born.
    • Awwww thanks lol. The milk turns to colostrum which is baby’s first food. It is oily and thick and seals the digestive tract and acts as a laxative so older children often turn their noses up at it.

    • Newborns need a laxative to help expel the uterine byproducts they consumed in the womb.

  • Juxtapose
    Yeah, I didn't expect nor need to see that. Imagine someone saving this & showing your kid years later too xD

    I wasn't breastfed, thank goodness.
    Disagree 1 Person
    • He’s 9. I showed it to him yesterday. It’s beautiful. Sorry you weren’t nourished with the best food for your tiny body.

  • Tstrbrainer
    Truck? Kids 😂😂😂.

    Is this your older one?
    Do you think the reason behind your husband's unhappiness was due to the fact that you both weren't getting private time to spend together?
    Like 1 Person
    • Yes this is my older son. No. I think the heart of his unhappiness was it was something he could not control.

    • Is there any reason for you to suspect that? 🤔

    • I am usually a very easy going person and rarely stand up for anything. I would prefer to keep the peace. This is one thing I stood up for and he didn’t like that.

    • Show All
  • Dat-Alpha-Lion
    Breastfeed for as long as you want to, and as long as the child finds it comforting. If you yourself enjoy doing it, screw the haters! Side note: adult breastfeeding is apparently a big thing.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • I have learned more about adult breastfeeding. I don’t think that is for us. This milk factory is closed lol

  • Mark987
    I applaud you :)
    Like 1 Person
  • vald9inches
    Heart warming story!! ❤️
    Like 1 Person
  • Kelly6
    Very well said.
    thanks
    Like 1 Person
  • Anonymous
    Such a pathetic human you're, don't such post please
    Disagree 1 Person
    • Pathetic to nourish my child? You are pathetic you blue anon troll.

    • Anonymous

      Clearly you weren't taught manners. Don't post such personal business online.

    • It is not personal and needs to be talked about. Breaatfeeding mothers get harassed all the time. It is wrong and we need to stand up for our lawful right to feed our children wherever we are, covered or not (because some kids do not tolerate covers) without restriction.

      They are mammary glands doing the purpose they were made for ffs.

    • Show All
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