Search Results: feeling truly in love

I used to read and write stories all the time when I was in seventh grade. Here’s something I wrote then. It was a short story. After the fourth chapter, I just never went back to finish it. It was about an illegal immigrant who became a prostitute and then killed her pimp. 😂😂😂 this is the beginning of chapter two.

“The blood stained rag hung off the counter, along with the others. I finished cleaning up my mess. Burned and buried his body, wiped up the blood. But I still sat there, with the knife in my hand and the memory of his lifeless eyes staring back at me. That "relief" I was feeling diminished the second I truly had a chance to think about what just happened. He was right. I'll never stop running from his evil colleagues and now from the law! I mean, he is powerful, famous even. Anybody could walk through that door right now and realize he's missing and then do anything in their power to find his killer. They'll then eventually track it to me. I just changed my life for the worse. Not just the running. I'm now a killer. I just killed a man. And that's something no one forgets. But I just did what I needed to do to survive. I think. And now i have to do something fast before anyone finds out what I have done. And There is only one person That I trust with the fate of my life.

The rap music pumped from the speakers at an alarming high volume in the crack house. The first thing I saw were countless bottles of liquor littered everywhere, passed out half naked bodies on the vandalized sofa and lots of drugs. I've never been in a crack house before and It's an experience I never want to relive. And There I saw Sophia. All the way in the back dapping up some thugs. I wanted cry but I've done that too much today already.

I just looked for a moment. I haven't seen my sister in a long time. But my love still remained. I just hope hers did too. I nervously approached her, pushing my way through gangsters, of both sex, with their pants low and dirty dancing. “

When I was 18, I lived in Ohio. I had a fling with a guy. I loved him. The first man I truly loved. On the 4th of July 2004, we were at the fireworks when he asked to have sex in the woods. I said no. I felt guilty because he was a virgin, I was not, and I had a strong feeling I would be forced to leave the country. I ended up opting to go back and my heart broke because I loved him and felt like he did too. We kept in touch and are still friends to this day. He came out as gay to me a couple years ago. He said he figured it out shortly after I left, but hid it from everyone and I was the one he was most afraid to tell because he still loved me. And through the years, I’ve loved him too. Not in a romantic way, but I cherish him.

I admitted I regretted not having sex with him that night and come to find out, I knew that he got married to a woman after me, but he didn’t love her. And that aside from her, I’m the only other woman he finds attractive.

We planned a drunk karaoke night the next time I visit. I’m hoping within the next year, but this is where it gets complicated.

I told him that despite my regret, I won’t be sleeping with him when I visit. I have a friends with benefits that I’m very attracted to of almost 2 years. And my kids know and like him too. But there’s still a part of me that wants to have sex, just once, to make up for my regret. But at the same time, I love R. In the same way I loved L. More than L could have at 17, but my kids tell him they love him too. So even though we’re only FWBs, I feel like I would be cheating on him. We both said that while we see where this goes, we’re okay with the other seeing other people, but that neither of us are like that.

R knows about L. I’ve even told him I still have a love for L. R is the same about his first girlfriend. 9 years together and he let her get away.

So what would you say and why?