Search Results: being a virgin

I love the idea of a traditional relationship and being femmine but being girly/femmine is looked down upon litterally everywhere. I feel bad for being a virgin because in a way it's not normal or trendy. To top that off I'm unattractive so I don't activity date but if I did and went after what I wanted/ got it people would say this shit-

1. I'm gold digging
2. I'm a black woman, therefore most people would say I don't deserve to live this kind of lifestyle.
3. People will say that I'm too ugly/fat I have better than I deserve.

So I can't help but think is being traditional really wrong? We all tell people to be what they want to be but I'm noticing a lot of shaming and pressuring of others to confirm to a certain standard.

He went from being heads over heels for me and addicted (his words), discussing meeting my family and marriage, to breaking up suddenly. But he didn't ditch me/ghost afterwards and kept talking almost daily as he said he wanted us to stay friends and keep me close (we still talk 9 months after the break up although we had a phase where we didn't speak) but he keeps on saying we need to move on.

In his break up message he said that he was "Scared" , he said that he liked me and could still like me, but that he felt that there were too many obstacles (I assume he means the distance, and the fact that we are not ready for marriage because we're both students). That he didn't want to drag me for years without the certainty of marriage since he still needs 4 years or so before being able to get married. That he is scared my parents want me to marry someone from my country, and he is scared because so many men wanted me.

Some of the mistakes I've done as a woman when I think about the relationship retroactively:

- Once mentioned to him that my mom prefers me marrying someone from my country.
- Talked about other guys to make him jealous and get his attention (I'm immature i know). Turns out it made him insecure, i think.
- Told him about a guy who wanted to propose to me.

PS:
- We're both 24
- Both (religious) virgins waiting for marriage
- His religiosity often made him guilty over being overly sexually attracted to me
- It was an online relationship , we both live in Europe but in different countries.
- None of us has had a previous relationship.
- None of us dated or looked to date after the break up.

I don't want to give him up because I feel like we're soulmates (although I don't believe in the concept).

I know I am tired of being single and a lot of you are too (as I see your posts all the time on here). Also I'm ready to give up on these dating apps that seem more interested in keeping me single so they can keep taking my money. So I'm wondering if there was a place specifically for us if anyone else would bother showing up to it? I have driven out to Washington a few times since my Mom moved out there; and I've seen a lot of land in Wyoming for cheap along I-80. Don't know if it would be there, but the availability of it got me thinking of the possibilities. Maybe start out with a week long camping retreat; as we develop the land for a semi-self sufficient community. Also would any of you be willing to help fund such an endeavor? I know I couldn't afford it myself as I am not independently wealthy, yet. However, I would rather invest $30/month on supporting a community that accepts me; than waste it trying to get a date on a site that takes my money and maybe gets me a like and occasional message, but never an actual date. For those of you who don't have this problem could you leave your comments to the logistical aspects of this idea, please?

Note: I know I put it in my poll but there is currently no Go Fund me campaign for this; I'm just trying to measure the interest for this idea at this point.