Why most guys are not committing to women anymore

Lynx122

How it used to be

In the past women got married very young mostly virgins. They gave up their most attractive years to one guy in return for commitment, for being taken care of when they got older, for financial security etc.

From todays perspective it might seem weird for some people but it was actually a pretty balanced agreement. In the first few years the womans value might be higher than the guys but as she got older and he became more established in whatever business he was doing things would switch and his value would be higher than hers and it would balance out overall. Of course every case is different but the average marriage would work like this.

Why most guys are not committing to women anymore

Things have changed a lot

Today women want all the benefits of their youth, beauty and fertility for themselves, they wanna party like there's no tomorrow and hook up with the guys that turn them on the most. And they still expect a quality guy to be ready to marry them as soon as they feel like it. They want to max out the benefits of their youth and beauty for themselves and then try and lock a guy down at the very last second before their SMV dips below his.

Why most guys are not committing to women anymore

This might have worked for a minute, us guys don't always catch on to the games women play super quickly but over time guys were like wait a minute.... what am I getting out of this?

It's only bad news for the guy

Not only has she used up her most attractive years riding the cock carousel as it's called, she will be mentally damaged and won't be able to pair bond with the guy she's marrying because she's had so much sex that she doesn't know woman she's supposed to be anymore.

On top of that she will most likely resent the guy that's bailing her out. Women think the hottest guy they've been with is their own level even though that guy never wanted to be with her. When a girl who's a 5 manage to sleep with a dude who's a ten once she'll go through life with the ego thinking she deserves a ten. And when a guy who's a 5 or even a 6 or a 7 comes along and marries her she will hate him for reminding her constantly that she's not young and hot anymore and can't have any guy she wants. Instead of being grateful for him bailing her out she'll resent him for not seeing how worthless she is and feels inside and take it out on him.

Guys adjusted

In the past guys would be rewarded for committment and marriage even if they weren't the most attractive guy ever they would find a wife who would take care of them sexually and be a homemaker. Nowadays guys have realised there's 0 benefit in committing to a girl anymore not only will she look down on him for not seing through her game she will cheat on him with guys who put in 0 effort and get more out of it than him. So now guys just don't commit anymore at least until they're maybe 65 or 70 but still don't marry her then just date long term. Guys don't even want to date girls in their early 30s anymore because they know they have the baby rabies and the risk of an "accidental" pregnancy and demand of marriage is very high. 27 is the max a lot of guys will go for and it might get even lower as women adjust their strategies.

Why most guys are not committing to women anymore
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Barbaric

    As horrible as it sounds to some people, this is the blunt truth. It only sounds so horrible because you've stripped away the comforting lies people like to tell themselves. When you don't sugarcoat things people will react negatively. So many of the things we're taught to believe about love and relationships are based on sugar-coated, feel-good nonsense which prevents us from understanding the truth.

    Women especially will push certain ideas and will reinforce cultural myths if and when they benefit from them. Like you said, men aren't as quick as women to understand these things because women in general are more socially savvy than men are. However, if you can read between the lines you can actually see that the things they say when they do that only confirm the things you're saying here. They just re-frame it in a way that makes it sound sensible, logical, and "right".

    How many women will for example talk about how young women prefer bad boys or they go through a fuckboy phase? You can find a ton of takes and questions where they mention this. And then once they get older, say between 28-32, they tell you that they're done with fuckboys and they finally realised how much they appreciate the nice guys they were previously uninterested in.

    Here's them in their youth (I'm not a MGTOW by the way) :

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/_FjZ6QePmMA

    Many women here repeat the same kind of thing in a less blunt way. They'll also tell you that the ideal time to marry is late twenties-early thirties.

    Here's them as they get closer to 30+:

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/Sy0mgvUILeA

    She's being full of shit. What really happens here is that they get done with jerks when they couldn't get them to commit. In fact a lot of the time, the reason these women call those guys jerks is because they wouldn't commit. A jerk is a guy who doesn't do everything a woman/women as a whole wants.

    But why did they want him to commit? Because they found him really attractive. Why didn't they go for the "nice guys" in the first place? Because those nice guys are less attractive.

    When they give up on trying to get those other guys to commit, they drop their standards and settle with a guy who is less attractive, less exciting, but more stable. They don't increase their standards as they try to convince you they do, they drop their standards. All of the talk about how they learn to appreciate those guys is just the way they sell those guys on the idea. Telling them the truth, that they're pretty much second best, wouldn't be a very good idea would it?

    I don't think that the reason they struggle to commit to such men is because sleeping around damages them and makes them unable to pair bond. I think it's more about desire. The reason many guys joke about how sex dies off once she gets her wedding ring is because that's what happens when a woman marries a guy she's just settling with out of convenience. She's not as into sex with that guy as she was with the hotter guys she dealt with in her youth while she ignored him so the bedroom dies a slow death. That's also perhaps why these marriages end up with cheating, divorce or both. If she were to marry the kind of guy she's really attracted to it could work, but the older she gets the less likely it becomes that she will in general.

    Some people will see this as negative but really, it is what it is. All that matters is that you use this to your advantage, in particular when it comes to watching out for red flags and choosing a woman yourself. You obviously want a girl who puts you first, not a woman who is just settling for you.

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    • jestergent

      TO LYNX,

      This is a really good article, I have already saved it PDF to harddrive. If any reason it were taken down, mark my words I will spread it to 20 websites. With note it was taken down. It's the damn truth. It's what happened.

  • SuccessfulHornDog

    This might sound ugly but ignoring the truth won't help anyone. The actions promoted by feminism have certainly had an impact on society and it is leading to distress for many people of both genders who are not at the top of of the heap in terms of desirability. It is true that women's desirability starts out sky high and then fades quickly while males start out slower and then rises to the point where they surpass women their age. I feel bad for everyone except those top 10% who can have their cake and eat it too.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • AmandaYVR

    Lynx, what the hell? What happened? Are you in a particularly bad mood, or is this honestly how you typically feel?
    Reading this, I would normally just keep on walking, not make any comment, because there are so many things I disagree with in the overall assessment, not to mention the tone. But you invited me to comment. I wonder what you think I would think. This is going to take some energy to unpack.

    Well firstly, I vehemently disagree with the whole concept of market value. I have seen men on here use that term in regards to men and women and relationships, but I've got to say, I think that is just too clinical and harsh a way to view people, in my opinion. I never, ever rate people with a single number. We are all a complex (mathematical, if you want to call it) formula of pluses and minuses, strengths and weaknesses. Not to mention, we now live in a world of staunch individualism, where many people loathe being labelled, boxed in, etc. (Which I personally think has also gone too far in that direction. Suck it up. Everyone's gotta conform somewhat. We are somewhere between a grain of rice and a snowflake - snowflake in the OG sense of being unique, not the overly-sensitive derogatory term.)

    I don't personally mind, but some would see your views on women as being somewhat archaic. You are a traditionalist, I guess, and nothing wrong with that. There are many (females, etc.) who still are aligned with that and would prefer commitment + being a wife, mother, homemaker.

    Regarding commitment/cheating/infidelity - women are now on par with men. This is obviously not a move in the right direction. It's really too bad. Breaching trust is destructive. First to the individual, but later to society, because unfortunately so few people are able to compartmentalize and separate the actions of one, from applying it to 'all.' Absolute words are very, very dangerous when used haphazardly.
    But if I'm being honest, I don't feel hugely sympathetic to the males of the world, complaining about this now, because although some people are honourable and innocent, women have in general been the ones to have to deal with, and often tolerate, infidelity. This was primarily because of opportunity and circumstance, as the men spent many hours free from the home while the woman was mostly confined there taking care of the kids, etc. But society also somewhat accepted this as a part of the culture. Do you think that was easy for women? I doubt it. Yet in some countries, like Nigeria, men are still legally permitted two wives. So if a guy has been cheated on, yes he has every right to be angry and to vocalize this. But if many men have not been cheated on, I really think they should shut their mouths and stop complaining about women in the abstract. Men are no better. Judge each person as an individual. You can point your finger at them, but it is only fair to spare the so-far innocent.

    Just as I would say to women, be wary of entering into any relationships with preconceived ideas of how it will turn out. Unless a person has had a slew of negative, persistent experiences, and they have put in concerted effort to analyze their own actions and behaviour and factored those in as well, it's just too easy and too reckless to dump this level of negativity onto new people who enter your life. You can write mytakes here, and vent, and work through some of your ideas, but be very careful about carrying this over, and placing it on the shoulders of someone new, with whom you have a clean slate. Think benefit of the doubt, not biases and baggage. Otherwise it will be doomed to fail.

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    • Lynx122

      Hey Amanda thanks for your answer. I'm not in a bad mood. I purposely push my ideas to the extreme because middle of the pack ideas kind of bore me. The closer to the edge that you go the more careful you have to be with your communication. I just see it as exploring. I don't know if I'm a traditionalist, conservative whatever you want to call it I decide topic by topic where I stand on things. I have a lot of left leaning stances as well. But I feel like the left is almost overrepresented and I like to gow against the grain not with it. I'm sorry that I was too harsh in tone. I respect you a lot that's why I'm always interested to know your thoughts.

      I am not the most in touch with my emotions I wasn't consciously being angry. People I respect speak their mind without hesitation or fear. No matter what side they're on I like to see something like that. I'm trying to go the same way. I always listen to counterarguments especially well written ones and consider adapting my own opinions based what the other person has said. But I do admit that I'm quite a stubborn person :D

      Don't give up on me Amanda :)

    • AmandaYVR

      Aww, that's sweet of you, Lynx. Yeah, I thought you were having a bad day, as it seemed out of character from what I know of you so far. But I can understand your explanation. It's much more common for guys to feel this way - wanting to push the envelope, sharpen their debate skills, and even though you didn't mention it, I think it stems from built up general frustration sometimes. The world feels sensitive and PC nowadays, doesn't it? Cultural shifts are often quite gradual, but sometimes I can think of many examples of how the world and time I grew up in was just less like that. And we didn't think anything of it. It wasn't acceptable to get your back up, get offended all the time. But, you know, all this fighting for equality, at its core it's a good thing. It's just everything's in the muck right now, maybe because it's a transitional period. I don't know. If I could transport back to the 80s or 90s for a couple or few months, I probably would. Perspective is a good thing. Change can be so slow, you don't even notice it as its happening sometimes.

      Anyway, you and I are fine. You are very communicative, and you're a thinker. This is a great example of why I fight so hard for transparency, not anonymity. Context. If I read this, and this alone, as a male anon, I'd write that person off. There's no way I'd respond to them. But it's you. You are worth a discussion with, worth engaging with, even if just to see what's up, what's going on there.

    • Lynx122

      You made me think a lot with your first response. I need to be more aware of my emotions. When I start a youtube channel I can't let feelings build up like that. I'm thinking about using CBD oil to slow down my mind a bit and give my emotions room to breathe so that I can process them more when they happen and I don't have this build up. Going to the limit is definitely an interesting challenge but it also makes the margin for error a lot smaller between looking for a challenge and coming across as a mad extremist :D

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  • apple24

    You Know what at the end it doesn't matter. Because the same thing can be said about men who slept with so many girls. They can't probably bond or have trust in one girl. The most important thing in life is to be happy no amount of romance will ever make your life better. You have to wake up and decided today I am going to be happy and do it proudly. I think people hide behind this idea of romance and sex as a way to escape what they really want is happiness. Romantic is a man made ideal. Traditional marriage was to raise children. I think I am happy without it and no its not because I was sleeping around ir more I don't need another human confirmation to feel loved and special.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • jkm1864

    The fact is 70% of the women out there are only attracted to 30% of the men so why on earth would they get married when they are already banging 3 to 4 women at a time? Oh and those 70% of the guys well lets just say they all get to compete for a mere 30% of the women and believe Me that competition is brutal. The fact is the majority of men are totally invisible to women and WE have to move heaven and earth just to find love meaning We have to burry ourselves in our careers and We might get a chance when women pull their heads out of their asses when they hit 30. I know I was in this boat and all I ever wanted was one woman to love Me and guess what it happened when I had started making six figures and She just happened to notice Hey here is a great guy with a great job and He's very stable. Well lets look what I brought to the table a good job, very dependable, mature, and I was a family man. Now what did She bring to the table a vagina and 60k in credit card debt. Oh and guess what it didn't matter because I was so desperate for love I paid off that debt, bought her a house, gave Her a family, paid for Her college, and paid off Her future debt. Now what did She take from Me all of My money in shop till You drop spending sprees, 17 years of My life where I regularly turned in 100 hour time sheets per week, My child, My house that I paid all the notes on, and She enslaved Me to child support after She cheated. So guess what I have decided that constantly jumping through hoops just to get a woman whom blows all Her money and mine on worthless crap whom will eventually cheat isn't worth it anymore. Oh and by the way We talk amongst ourselves and any older man whom has went through the ringer the first thing He tells a younger man is never settle down with a western woman because they always cheat and honestly a hooker is cheaper in the long run and they won't break Your heart when they leave.

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  • WadeDanielSmith2

    In spite of stereotypes, because women are bisexual more often than men, it means women actually cheat more often than men on average, but the man gets all the blame. If you call a woman a "whore" you get accused of "hate speech".

    Why don't people commit in relationships? It starts with the fact they reject God and reject God's commandments. When you are taught in school that you are nothing more than an evolved monkey and there is no God and no purpose for existence, then you don't have much motivation to give a rats ass about anyone other than yourself, so people do whatever they find immediately self-gratifying.

    They have rejected the Ten Commandments and the Law of Moses, which is the only fair law ever written down, and they've replaced that with total anarchy, especially in the past 5 generations in the United States. Now that the Bible and Ten Commandments have been banned from school and government, it is total anarchy and I expect murder, rape, beastiality, and human sacrifice to be legalized in the next two generations. There are already people pushing for this right now, and a LOT of the users of this website already have in mind someone they would murder and/or rape if they thought they could get away with it.

    About 25% of the adult population in the United States has 1 or more STDS and about 15% of them have an incurable STD, because about 95% of adults in the United States live like complete whores/man-whores and spread the diseases around faster than doctors can cure them, and just because an STD doesn't kill you right away doesn't mean it won't kill you in 10 or 20 years.

    Anyway, if you commit adultery/fornication before you are married, you'll do it again after you're married, if you aren't faithful to God even when your eternal soul is the cost, then obviously you aren't going to be faithful to another human being.

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  • Regmorus

    Though I don't like the take for trying to give all the fault to women, I agree that some underlying idea is true - whether you were interested to convey this idea specifically or not. Namely that for the sake of individual we, people, (I specifically don't count myself out) sacrifice the routine that was established during the two milleniums. Which had of course it's own major problems but all together allowed the society, culture, children to live and exist in harmony and a stable development of humanity.
    And the saddest thing is that many of us are just like that, that this myself above all thinking and disability to think in terms of preservation of common values and well-established construct of social life, are intrinsic part of us who are the many, and to change it in oneself is not possible. It's what we are literally. Already in the very corner brought there by merciless evolution of the mind (evolution meaning the chain of changes occuring due to existence and development under some conditions and due to preexisting conditions, no positive shade meant). The human race is programmed to be destroyed from inside, just like dinosaurs had to be destroyed from outside.

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  • YHL6965

    I'm personally looking for women who are mature and who don't play such games because they exist. I avoid girls who got this mentality of "wanting the goods without the responsibilities". I want to commit to someone, but not to anyone, to a woman that behaves and thinks like an adult. I'm really not picky on anything that's not personality because finding someone like that might already be hard.

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  • 1truekhaleesi

    You either respect all women or you don't. I have no problem staying celibate for life because (most) guys believe my value as a woman and human being go down every time I have sex or go out to a party.

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  • bakingperfectionist

    Yea okay buddy xD I used to act like the perfect little future housewife and I still got under-appreciated and cheated on. My conclusion? trash men will always be trash, good men will always be good, regardless of all this bull.

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  • Dchrls78104

    Good take. Much of it is true in my country. You forgot to mention what happens to many men in committed relationships: in my country they lose their homes to the woman, or else, as in at least one case, they get stuck paying court ordered child support for children that aren't theirs.

    Reply
  • Thatsamazing

    Lot of facts not submitted into evidence there, bro. "In the past women got married very young mostly virgins" uhh... were you around personally to experience that? Girls have been giving it up before marriage since the dawn of humanity. So...

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  • 007kingifrit

    its true. delete tinder ladies and search for a forever man now, if you wait till you're 30 its too late, you won't be attractive enough for a mate anymore

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  • jestergent

    "They gave up their most attractive years to one guy in return for commitment".
    Above qoute is what I value in a woman.

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  • Cryostatic

    Dude, over two million men marry women every year.

    "Most guys" have absolutely zero fucking problem committing.

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    • LThunder

      Marriage is at a record low. Half of those end in divorce.

  • Bandit74

    I agree with a lot of what you say, but it's definitely not true that most men refuse to commit. It might be true that higher percentages of men are unwilling to commit compared to the past but statistically most men still get into committed relationships/marriage. I could also say that women are less likely to commit too since they have their own money and as you said they get used to hooking with hot guys and are disgusted with having to settle with an average guy so some might prefer to just keep hooking up with hot guys rather than commit to an average one. And if they want kids they could just get high quality sperm from a sperm bank and raise the kid themselves while continuing to hookup with conventionally hot guys.

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  • Celtero

    I dunno man, I just don't see this. Sounds like a standard red-pill seminar to me.

    The reality is marriage and relationships are dying institutions all around. There's sad and lonely men and women, and independent and satisfied single men and women out there as well.

    A lot of red pill thought is moreso a male power fantasy. It's a great feeling to think "wow, women are messing up by not being desperate virgins longing to be my wife."

    And don't get me wrong, there's a lot of contemptible slags of women out there... But same goes for men.

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    • LThunder

      "wow, women are messing up by not being desperate virgins longing to be my wife."

      That's not Red Pill, that's incel. Red Pill is basically PUA+

  • Liam_Hayden

    It is simple, guys. Just be very, very choosy and take your time.

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  • AmeerX

    Tell this to gold diggers who say that people are jealous of them and should not judge their choice. I even habe proof of it

    Reply
  • Imuglyandiknowit

    i don’t want to commit to a man either. i just want to use men as sex objects

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  • GoCommitDespacito

    If cringe was a power source this post could power a city

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  • TheFlak38

    Commitment is for loser men.

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  • Lman3000

    Glad I'm not dating no more.

    Reply
  • zagor

    In the past as in pre-JFK maybe.

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