Why men don't seem to want to commit anymore?

[Anonymous]

Ive been talking to many of my friends and even random women that I meet and the subject of men not wanting to commit but acting like boyfriends have come up. I hear more and more that men are not wanting to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but they are not dating others and acting like one. My belief is even if you don't declare it if your acting the part than in my opinion actions speak louder than words. However, it seems to be a trend (even with some women) that the idea of being exclusive has decreased especially with online dating because men and women are keeping their options open even if they are not dating or looking for anyone else. My question is why in particular are men doing this, esp. if they are not dating others and not even looking. Is it the title that causes stress? Also, do men tend change their minds as they get deeper in these relationships or do they stand still. I've seen a few that have said they were not in a relationship, denied it thoroughly and yet they fell for that other person and eventually became exclusive etc. Is it all a waiting game while keeping options open until a man commits because ultimatum is just going to push men away in my opinion. Or are these men just afraid of missing out on the next best thing or getting hurt, so need to take things slow and no labels until they truly feel safe and know for sure they want you? Just curious

[taco_belle]

I think there are a few factors in play, but one of the biggest one comes with the fear of looking like a fool if your relationship ends.

Let's be honest - people ARE going to keep an eye open for a better option or backup plan unless they KNOW they want to be with you and make that commitment. Because once an official commitment is made, in this day and age, that information becomes VERY public.

Would you want to announce that you got your degree the first day you enrolled in a college class? NO! Because so much could go wrong, you'd look like a FOOL to think it is a sure thing without even understanding what college is like and how well you can handle it! You might drop out, transfer, or the college might go bankrupt and you're left high and dry!

Same with relationships... with so much at stake, you don't want to be left looking like a fool before you even know what you're getting yourself into.

I think the solution is a balance between open communication and rational caution when approaching the subject of "titles," but when it comes to true COMMITMENT... well, if someone really wants to be there in your life for the long run you will ultimately know by their actions rather than their words!

[FirstL0ve]

I just got out of a serious relationship with the guy I thought I was going to marry. We talked a little about it, told each other we were falling in love, talked about living together. once my boyfriend told me he was falling in love with me things started to change a little and was a slow decline till it ended in us not together anymore. Now, my ex had 6 other relationships in the past (one cheated on him), during our relationship he parents started to talk about divorce, he told me he has trust issues, he has insecurities and fears and was not sure if he wanted to be in relationship or get married because even after 30 some years, it can just end. Even though I am still trying to come to this conclusion, writing this to you is helping me see that he is just letting his fears and past experience get in the way. He told me I was the first girlfriend he got close to as fast as he did and opened up to like he did, so with all these factors I listed, commitment I am thinking is just scary to him and why get hurt if you can avoid it. It took 4 months for him to want to make our relationship official, so telling me he's falling in love and then what his parents were going through seemed it was just scary.

[Elv18]

The juice isn't worth the squeeze. This game is all fucked up today. No fault divorce has made marriage pointless. These hoes ain't loyal. There will always be someone better than you, and that is too difficult to pass up when it comes knocking on your backdoor. See the statistics on cheating and divorce? The ROI is almost zilch. Plus why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. And this goes for both sides, too, just in slightly different contexes.

[udolipixie]

Men never wanted to commit it's just that in the past commitment benefited them.

Now since girls can bail out & aren't stuck grinning and bearing it there's no reason to stay with some old woman when you want a young hottie and unlike the past if you cheat she can divorce & ruin you.

Most likely in your case men your age don't want to commit because they prefer women under 25.

Side note:

Boys get no girl is prenup pretty i.e. pretty enough to bypass a prenup.

[toulouse]

wth does that mean.

@Boys get no girl is prenup pretty i.e. pretty enough to bypass a prenup.

[udolipixie]

* Boys get a prenup no girl is prenup pretty i.e. pretty enough to bypass a prenup.

[Lance1965]

There are no incentives for the man, especially in marriage. Considering most divorces are instigated by women (around 75%) and most women end up cheating, where is the incentive?

[Ezmotts]

With the divorce rate being 50% and rising, it's easy to see why.

[bleepbloop]

i realized this too. and then my mom wonders why I'm single... she doesn't realize dating now isn't as easy as it was back in her days -__-

[xxDizzyxx]

That way They don't look retarded when you sleep with their friends

[Sbsbdicjf]

There aren't any good incentives to being in a relationship, these days.

[Anonymous]

Even average guys can get sex, support and affection from 2-4 chicks at once. Why settle for one?

[Anonymous]

Because we don't want to get married and then get taken for everything we have when the marriage ends

[udolipixie]

^ This

No girl is prenup pretty

[Lance1965]

Yes and mention pre-nup and a lot of women will suddenly lose interest. That happened recently to a friend of mine.

[Anonymous]

It's women who don't want to commit.

[Sway66km]

And you care why?