Most Helpful Opinions
I just got out of a serious relationship with the guy I thought I was going to marry. We talked a little about it, told each other we were falling in love, talked about living together. once my boyfriend told me he was falling in love with me things started to change a little and was a slow decline till it ended in us not together anymore. Now, my ex had 6 other relationships in the past (one cheated on him), during our relationship he parents started to talk about divorce, he told me he has trust issues, he has insecurities and fears and was not sure if he wanted to be in relationship or get married because even after 30 some years, it can just end. Even though I am still trying to come to this conclusion, writing this to you is helping me see that he is just letting his fears and past experience get in the way. He told me I was the first girlfriend he got close to as fast as he did and opened up to like he did, so with all these factors I listed, commitment I am thinking is just scary to him and why get hurt if you can avoid it. It took 4 months for him to want to make our relationship official, so telling me he's falling in love and then what his parents were going through seemed it was just scary.1
Men never wanted to commit it's just that in the past commitment benefited them.
Now since girls can bail out & aren't stuck grinning and bearing it there's no reason to stay with some old woman when you want a young hottie and unlike the past if you cheat she can divorce & ruin you.
Most likely in your case men your age don't want to commit because they prefer women under 25.
Boys get no girl is prenup pretty i.e. pretty enough to bypass a prenup.2
There are no incentives for the man, especially in marriage. Considering most divorces are instigated by women (around 75%) and most women end up cheating, where is the incentive?10
With the divorce rate being 50% and rising, it's easy to see why.30
What Girls & Guys Said
i realized this too. and then my mom wonders why I'm single... she doesn't realize dating now isn't as easy as it was back in her days -__-20
That way They don't look retarded when you sleep with their friends40
There aren't any good incentives to being in a relationship, these days.10
Even average guys can get sex, support and affection from 2-4 chicks at once. Why settle for one?20
Because we don't want to get married and then get taken for everything we have when the marriage ends42
It's women who don't want to commit.40
And you care why?10
Most Helpful Opinions
I think there are a few factors in play, but one of the biggest one comes with the fear of looking like a fool if your relationship ends.
Let's be honest - people ARE going to keep an eye open for a better option or backup plan unless they KNOW they want to be with you and make that commitment. Because once an official commitment is made, in this day and age, that information becomes VERY public.
Would you want to announce that you got your degree the first day you enrolled in a college class? NO! Because so much could go wrong, you'd look like a FOOL to think it is a sure thing without even understanding what college is like and how well you can handle it! You might drop out, transfer, or the college might go bankrupt and you're left high and dry!
Same with relationships... with so much at stake, you don't want to be left looking like a fool before you even know what you're getting yourself into.
I think the solution is a balance between open communication and rational caution when approaching the subject of "titles," but when it comes to true COMMITMENT... well, if someone really wants to be there in your life for the long run you will ultimately know by their actions rather than their words!