I'm 17 and but for some reason I feel as though I want to be abused, even though I know it's so undesirable. This doesn't make sense but I feel like if I was abused then I'd be special, maybe I have a sort of 'abuse is love' mentality. Last year, I was involved with an 18 year old guy who possibly might have been abusive. When I first met him he had moved from girl to girl and soon said he’d fallen for me and said things to me that I daydreamed about a boy saying to me. After a month he said he loved me and I was the one. He used to be in a gang, had almost killed someone that he got into a fight with, and put his sister's abusive boyfriend in hospital and was arrested for aggravated assault. He said he’d changed, and later said I changed his life. He said if he was the same person he used to be, he probably would’ve hit a girl who he liked a week before me because she told him to f*** off, and would’ve treated me like an object. He apparently had dreams about me being abused by men and said he'd never treat me like that, although when I told him something about me that he didn't like when we were texting, he had a burst of rage. He seemed to sometimes use emotional blackmail on me e.g. saying he had tried to or was going to commit suicide and didn't know what he'd do if I didn't help him. When I said I'd help him he was basically normal again an hour later and even went back to school. I'm not involved with him anymore but for some reason I would have wanted to know if I definitely would have been in danger.
People think I’m gullible and naive and think I could end up in one of those relationships. My parents have been married for 21 years. It's not extremely abusive, but my dad has hit my mum more than once before (and she’s hit him back but I think this was in self-defence). He often picks fights and sometimes threatens to divorce her over little things. A couple of times after a fight, he has just left the house and one time I think he said me, my mum and sister shouldn't be there when he got back. Once when they had an argument, he was shouting at her 'I am your head!' because he's the husband, which is mentioned in the Bible. He has a temper and the smallest things can easily tick him off. At my sister's 18th birthday party (I was 15), me and my cousins were upstairs. He called us down to sing happy birthday to her, and when I came downstairs he seemed annoyed and was telling me to stay downstairs. I left my drink upstairs so I was saying 'I want to get my water bottle' while I was walking back towards the stairs, and suddenly he grabbed the bottom of my dress, pushed me against the wall and said something like 'If you ever walk away from me like that again, you'll see what I'll do to you'. Some family members saw so they tried to calm him down. After the party ended some of my sister's friends slept over and my dad was acting like a family man. I'm not blaming my parents but this is all I can think of that may explain it.
People think I’m gullible and naive and think I could end up in one of those relationships. My parents have been married for 21 years. It's not extremely abusive, but my dad has hit my mum more than once before (and she’s hit him back but I think this was in self-defence). He often picks fights and sometimes threatens to divorce her over little things. A couple of times after a fight, he has just left the house and one time I think he said me, my mum and sister shouldn't be there when he got back. Once when they had an argument, he was shouting at her 'I am your head!' because he's the husband, which is mentioned in the Bible. He has a temper and the smallest things can easily tick him off. At my sister's 18th birthday party (I was 15), me and my cousins were upstairs. He called us down to sing happy birthday to her, and when I came downstairs he seemed annoyed and was telling me to stay downstairs. I left my drink upstairs so I was saying 'I want to get my water bottle' while I was walking back towards the stairs, and suddenly he grabbed the bottom of my dress, pushed me against the wall and said something like 'If you ever walk away from me like that again, you'll see what I'll do to you'. Some family members saw so they tried to calm him down. After the party ended some of my sister's friends slept over and my dad was acting like a family man. I'm not blaming my parents but this is all I can think of that may explain it.
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