First date: he took me to the movies and we had or first kiss. We then ate together and kept his arms around me. (Third date: we made out!)
At the end of our first date, he said that he isn't that kind of guy anymore and that he is looking for a long-term relationship now. However, we can't get married because his parents only want someone from his religion.
Later on, he texted me to be his friends with benefits and I told him off right away (because I was insulted that he saw me that way).
However, I still have feelings for him. Anytime he walks in a room, I can tell its him. It's like we're attached on a psychological level. The way he looks at me tells me that he loves me but...
Why doesn't he want a relationship? Is he afraid of commitment? He told me that he got hurt once but didn't mention much after...
How do I get him to commit to me? How do I make a player fall in love? (P. s. I'm the cute/nerd type and he's the sporty/hot type)
I see him every week at school and he keeps looking at me. He always passes by my locker and gives me these deep stares. It's obvious that he still likes me and that I like him too.
After 2 months of not talking, we went on a study date because he said he was failing a class. He kept trying to make me laugh, but I was serious/mad because he hurt me (saw me as only a friends with benefits that he could use and dump).
We have another study date soon... what should I say/do to get him to see me as more than just a friends with benefits type?
P. s. what I like about him: He is very career oriented. I like where he is from (culture). He is very family oriented. He's great with kids. He's very cute/romantic and shy (like me). He seems like great father material, etc.
Most Helpful Opinions
Dating someone with the hopes of changing them is doomed to failure. You cannot change a player, you cannot make someone fall in love with you, they have to do that on their own. The fact that he just wants you as a friends with benefits screams player, and it screams that he doesn't love you. Of course, he couldn't 'love' you anyways, it takes years to develop true feelings of love. The 'early love' feelings are caused by NRE - new relationship energy, and are chemically driven, not emotionally driven. If he is suggesting friends with benefits , he doesn't even feel the NRE hit that you are clearly feeling. (and it is clearly NRE you are feeling, true love does not make a person want to change the object of their affection, it makes them want the best for the object of their affection regardless of how they fit into that equation)
If he is a 'good' player, he will be able to tell you the things that you want to hear in order for him to get physical with you. He is telling you flat out that he wants to fuck you, and that he doesn't want to date you. Any attempts that you make to try and 'trick' him into a relationship will backfire. You will think he is agreeing to what you want, lower your guard, and then he wins. He gets what he wants and can just leave at any time.
You cannot change a player. They can only grow bored of the game. And some will never be wired for monogamy. If someone is not a full-blown player, but just has some tendencies, you can only see if they are actually interested in you as a person via a long, slowly building relationship. Moving too fast means they win, and they walk.