What do men think of self dependent women?

[kc_4308]

Women who don’t rely on men for anything unless their married. I don’t rely on a man for anything unless we’re married. Since , I’m not married this expectation doesn’t exist with any man that I meet. I hear too many stories of women who use men for money and other stuff ( men they never met, dated , and it committed too). I work hard for everything I want and have; the issue I believe a lot of men don’t believe women who have their own and or is building doesn’t exist and if a woman is educated and is self dependent it’s intimidation. First thing most men will say is, “ It seems you don’t need a man.” It’s not the case , why am I doing wifey duties for you if we’re not married? I shouldn’t be asking you for money when we’re not married. I don’t go 50/50 with a man either. You get whatever you give me and it’s no investment than you gets nothing. I truthfully don’t believe there is a lot of traditional men or women anymore and if there is, those men and women are doing their own thing.


What do you think?

Updates

+1 y

When a man ask what are you bringing to the table. My table is fine and is being worked on alone. As a man , you should have your shyt together since you’re the dominant one. I don’t know seems things are backwards and no one is actually investing or building. Please don’t tell me about feminism because the reason why that even started men weren’t capable of providing , taking care of their women , and respecting them. You failed as men when it came to nurturing women and women hated you.

[TonyMetal___86]

I do agree with you that before marriage the couple are still strangers to each other and they don't have to do anything for each other as long as they aren't married...

In case the couple are in a relationship which will lead to marriage than personally i think that it's fine if the man pays for the date if he's capable and he can buy some nice stuff for his girl occasionally...

After marriage if the girl becomes a housewife than it's totally normal that she depends on her man and he depends on her because they both become one!

The man have his role and the woman have her's...

[kc_4308]

I agree still believe in initiating.. the man should be able to show he’s a provider. I don’t mind doing for a man occasionally to show gratitude

[kc_4308]

Yes no entitlement if not married. A lot of men don’t understand this post down below.. it speaks volume

[TonyMetal___86]

I do not agree with him, his answer is bizzare...
I don't care about a woman's financial status or what she does in life as long as i'm not related to her...

A woman should be depending on herself if she ain't married cause who will raise her or pays her taxes and bring the food on the table... etc

Every woman should be depending on herself as long as she ain't married and these days a lot of women keeps depending on themselves even when they are married because of the financial crisis these days and because in this age many feels that one income ain't enough and for many other reasons...

A lot of women adores becoming housewives but their men ain't capable financially to give them this choice...

Personally i'd always want a woman who adores becoming a housewife after marriage and will pray to god that i'll always be able to at least provide the basics in our lives and will always work hard to offer more...

[kc_4308]

Yes , women like me have no choice.. I don’t mind giving up the ropes once I’m married. Until than women have to do what they have to do.

[TonyMetal___86]

Agreed miss kc and i hope that you find someone who deserves you...

[kc_4308]

Thanks one day.. so use to doing me alone. I’d have to get to use to the ideal of sharing my space.

[TonyMetal___86]

Thanks for the mho

[kc_4308]

You’re welcome

[Zygum]

I admire your thoughts, you are great with self-sufficient, an independent and self reliance. Weldone, keep it up

[kc_4308]

Thanks

[ProCoffeeAntiSleep]

Ok so I have very complex and conflicting feelings about this. I used to agree 100% with you, and mostly still do but qualified.

I used to avoid entering a long term/ committed relationship with anyone because I felt I needed to have everything together before bring someone else into my life in a significant way. However I realise there are some problems with this.

My last partner was very independent and self sufficient, which although very admirable, and obviously a good thing when it comes to anything fanatical, that mentality also effected the softer more emotional parts of the relationship.

I think we both felt that when we were sad/ upset or just delicate, it was something that we couldn’t share and needed to deal with are-selves. Which although meant there wasn’t really any conflict in the relationship, also meant there wasn’t any point.

There is obviously a big space between a 1950’s atomic family and basically single while in a relationship, but its difficult to draw that distinction when you’ve set self-dependence as a personal goal.

[Pasiton5]

I don't give a damn what other men think but this man admire you fully, I love an independent woman who want nothing from me but me, and I'm not trying to be funny but these young ladies today is lazy as f, say hi to them and it's what you do for a living you live in your own home or rent, if she's black it's or you live with your mama, can't you take care of me, I'm like shit you ain't said shit about what your bringing to the table, take care of you who is going to take care of me, me damn add well stay by my damn self then you get the rolling eyes and you can't care for me, and I say not that I can't I wouldn't want to lazy ass ok you get it, so a woman out there doing her own Grove and want nada from me but my ass with her is Platinum to me cause she's real she's open no bull shit and I better not lose my income or I lost her ass too so yeah

[MzAsh]

Healthy / quality men will appreciate and find it attractive if a woman has her own career, hobbies, money, and life.
If a man needs a woman to be his dependent, he’s likely looking for a pet, not a partner.
Closely examine a man’s attitude when he knows that her life isn’t going to revolve around him and his schedule. This will tell you a lot.

[kc_4308]

I agree 110% Mz Ash

[FilmGuy93]

Honestly, I couldn't care less. You have money? That's great; I'm happy that you've been able to make a life for yourself. Your money isn't going to intimidate any man you'd actually want to date, and it certainly isn't going to make them respect you any more or less. But perhaps most critically for you (because of your comment about giving men back what they invest into you), and this really is genuine friendly advice; if you go around telling men about how you have your own money, most men are going to assume that means you don't want us to spend money on you. A LOT of women (career women especially) make it difficult or generally unpleasant to do things for them.

So it's possible that the reason men seem intimidated by you has nothing to do with being intimidated. It might just be because you don't seem like you want them to do "man stuff."

[kc_4308]

I’m not talking about money ; m talking about women who have to depend on themselves until they meet the right man and for marriage. A lot of men seemingly don’t understand that they aren’t obligated to do anything for a woman that’s not their wife. I wouldn’t expect a man to go far out.

[FilmGuy93]

This is one of those things about being a man that there's literally no reason you would understand as a woman, unless someone explained it to you. It's not intuitive at all. Men don't feel obligated to dote on women. Obligation is the wrong word. Men WANT to dote on women, we don't feel like we have to. Doting on women is part of how we express our intention and affection for the woman.

So when you ladies go around talking about how you don't need us to do those things, what you are saying is that you don't want us to express our love and affection for you. But that's not the way y'all think about things from your perspective. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

[kc_4308]

There’s nothing wrong with that if you’re dating and the man wants to do it for his woman occasionally. I don’t have a problem about that. The issue I’m having is when women have to do it alone why are men still complaining

[kc_4308]

You can’t have it both ways expect women to be submissive when their not carrying your last name and or married. My post is talking about women being single until their married

[FilmGuy93]

The reason men are complaining is because women don't seem to recognize when to drop the independent thing, and it often makes things unpleasant and abrasive. If a man is looking at a woman as potential wife/girlfriend material, he's going to want to see that she has the ability to make the switch around men she respects.

[kc_4308]

I don’t have a problem giving up the reigns. The end.

[FilmGuy93]

Best of luck in your search for love! =)

[Lliam]

I admire that. Such a woman wants a man she can admire. She's not going to take shit from some guy in exchange for him paying her bills. She's not going to be subservient. That doesn't mean that she can't be feminine, enjoy being treated like a lady, and love sex.

[Hanrej]

I don't think there's such a thing as anyone being independent. Everyone claims to be but their lives are actually only possible because they have plenty of people below them on the financial ladder that makes their life possible. Who here built their own house? Can fix their car? Grow their own food?

Women are on the rise because we live in a modern society wich values education over hard work. That fact alone makes people seem independent but in reality both what they've got is kept functioning by workers and payed for by the work of workers.

[Alyssa11]

Although I am an independent person by nature, I also recognise that men love differently and project their affection differently. You should allow a man to 'be there for you' or 'take care of you' (both totally subjectively defined). Otherwise he will feel unfulfilled.

[kc_4308]

What do you think in a relationship or marriage? I’m not going to expect that man to do it all , but occasionally yes. I’m pretty traditional sweet heart. I wouldn’t expect a man to do anything if we’re not dating.

[Alyssa11]

I know but being in a relationship or dating is the preamble to marriage. It sets out your separate patterns and expectations. Things don’t magically change overnight just because you’ve signed a contract to be married. Marriage is just there to solidify what’s already there. It also won’t be fair to the man to expect something completely different after you’re married... how is he going to know?
Men aren’t crazy or completely different. They’re humans just like us. When you find someone you naturally connect with and trust it will be easy x

[kc_4308]

If we’re not dating men aren’t obligated to go out there way for women.. less more if they’re not married

[Alyssa11]

Good luck getting into a relationship with that mindset

[kc_4308]

Nope my mindset is fine

[kc_4308]

No man is obligated to do anything for a woman their not married to

[kc_4308]

A man who does for another woman is fine

[kc_4308]

In a serious relationship sometimes

[JBlade]

There’s nothing wrong with being independent. I would hope you can take care of yourself financially lol. However, independent women like to give themselves a gold medal for doing everyday normal adult stuff. You speak about seeking a traditional man, both traditional men and women are a minority now because economics and society have changed. in my opinion, no sane person would carry the financial load of another for a lifetime.

[kc_4308]

Those are feminist 💯 .. financially why I have two careers.. made sure of that financially

[kc_4308]

I don’t know dating men in this climate.. it’s rare but I don't know finding a traditional man

[Bricealan]

I don't want a woman who is 'needy'. An independent woman scares the shit out of many men, because she doesn't rely on the guy for anything. He should, (if he has any balls) that, because she is with him, because she wants to be, not because she relies on him for something.

[kc_4308]

Why would it scare the shyt out of men when he / she ain’t married to begin with? If I’m not carrying that mans last name than there’s no entitlement at all

[kc_4308]

That man ain’t obligated to do anything for that woman. Please re read the question thanks

[Bricealan]

And I 'ain't obligated to further debate this inane question. Have a nice life.

[Nick473]

i like a girl thats independent , low maintenance and does not persistently ask me for money all the time and I think its good for guys to take care of there girl but it depends on what the need is. I dont think we should assume that the need is always financial it can be many other things we just gotta be present with her and please dont be manipulated some woman will rob you blind.

[iBeowulf]

Play with me! I took a micro nap!
Yo daddy so strong he can run a marathon on his hands and build a long range spacecraft without with no plans! He's a nascar driver... a jet a fighter! He's a human lighter and a freeform diver!

[Tunasub]

I like a woman that is her own women and can be or is self sufficient and can be happy being that way.

[iBeowulf]

Yo mama's so self sufficent she saves up to save the whales!

[kc_4308]

I had no choice to be this way. Son, I’m this way.. I don’t ask men for shyt. Married or not I still have my own. It’s gonna be hard to even rely on a man while married.

[Tunasub]

It will take some adjustment time but if a man/woman isn't threatened by that you should be fine.

[kc_4308]

Yep @Tuna陶拿恆 big adjustment

[kc_4308]

@Tunasub tagged the wrong tuna 🍣 in 😆

[kc_4308]

^^ what’s going on? Wth are you talking about

[Tunasub]

This dude trying to be funny I guess.

[RealMarek]

I’m with a woman who had some bad relationships and became self dependent. I never felt intimidated or put off by it. I feel fortunate, really.

[fred_durst]

it is good thing , everyone who call themselves adult should not be dependent to other people , doesn't matter what gender they are

[DonArnold]

I think self dependent women are great! I always felt there should be a certain dependency on each other for a good relationship, but each one should always be their own person first.

[Yaharro]

Well I want such women in my life I can do anything for her no joke

[Jamie05rhs]

That doesn't make any sense. If you don't rely on a man when you're not married, why would you rely on a man when you're married?

[Starman5]

I like women who depend on me whether I am married or not. This meaning is not material. in a spiritual sense.

[kc_4308]

Good a man has to show he’s a provider or capable

[Starman5]

Definitely

[ChubbyKing]

We prefer women to be independent. It's just "independent" women never stfu about being independent and it gets super annoying really fast

[kc_4308]

Maybe those women aren’t use too men because there’s a lack of actually providers ( so called men )

[ChubbyKing]

Nah, they just think it's an amazing feat to be a properly functioning human being for some reason. Like congratulations, you took a shit today all by yourself. Want a cookie?

[kc_4308]

Nope I don’t think so a lot of women have become content being alone and doing it on their own because there is a lack of men who actually provide.

[kc_4308]

A lot of men complain about women using them , but when a woman actually does for herself it’s a problem

[ChubbyKing]

Well yeah it's 2021, why do women want to be modern but expect a traditional man? Hypocrites much?

[ChubbyKing]

Literally no one cares. I swear you females make shit up and then oppress yourselves. No one gives a shit if you have a job. This isn't the 1950s

[kc_4308]

Modern dating, must be the women you men keep meeting. At this w, I don’t know if dating men is an option for me and it’s not because of my sexuality it’s the majority of you now.. I’m probably better off going back to women because I’ll always get the short stick because of other women’s doing

[kc_4308]

Do I give af if you will give me something? If I’m not married why would I ask you for shyt to begin with? That was made clear in my post, but like I said I see what types of women you men are use too. It’s sad and it’s not worth it not for me anyways !

[kc_4308]

Most of you men are use to user and abusers when it comes to women and you have this notion every woman is the same and when a decent woman’s comes along you still don’t know how to keep or treat her !

[ChubbyKing]

I'm pretty sure you're skimming my comments instead of actually reading them because that made no sense in regards to what I just wrote

[kc_4308]

You don’t make any sense.. your ranting on like a women on her period. Your acting emotional. The end.

[kc_4308]

It’s time to grow tf up

[ChubbyKing]

I remember now, you're the girl who started acting insanely hyperbolic on her "why do men ignore good women" question. Let me just put this out for you, you're not a good woman. You're childish from what I've seen, a little bit of introspect and maybe you'll find a man that treats you right

[kc_4308]

Yet your still bytching it’s not about finding a man that treats me right..0 experiences just throwing questions out there

[ChubbyKing]

The only one bitching is you, you literally have a meltdown any time someone says something you disagree with. You're 32 act like an adult for Christ sake

[kc_4308]

I’m not bitching just posting questions.. nope you come to my post with negatively about women. It’s toxic af

[kc_4308]

I’m just observing wtf I’m walking back into dating men.. I’m sitting back watching and observing… I’m treading lightly

[kc_4308]

At this point on a thread

[ChubbyKing]

No dude, you're just delusional. Doing the same playing victim, calling misogyny crap as the last time we spoke. I'm done with this, you're 32, hope you know that you're running out of time and it won't get better from here, maybe buy some cats and start your crazy cat lady life early. I'm out

[kc_4308]

I’m not a dude your childish af ! Cat lady lol running out of time with no experiences with men what am I losing and gaining at this point? NOTHING. Way how it’s looking probably better by myself in this dating climate

[kc_4308]

At 32 I was in my career. I’ve been content by myself.. than considered dating men as an option.. I don't know now

[kc_4308]

I’m a tad hopefully..

[Fuentes]

Thats better than woman who rely on you

[kc_4308]

Yes no one should rely on each other until married