Search Results: is he genuine

No I’m not a sociopath. In fact I am sometimes too empathetic for people.

Anyway I have known a few in my life (even regrettably dated one in the past). I can’t change their nature but just accept the sad fact they can never be trusted. Sociopaths will only value people to the point they get value out of them. This can be sneaky because their “value” can mean different things. It can be looks, money, sex , social optics, etc. Even the ones who are heavily involved in “social justice” initiatives just want the social kudos that come along with it vs. really caring about the people they are supposedly fighting for. Sociopaths see life as a chessboard.

They get paranoid about being “found out” because when they know when that happens people don’t trust them. They need to be trusted to gain their own ends. So they are good at acting and behaving seemingly genuine. But when no one’s looking they will be the last to inconvenience themselves to help someone else who can’t repay them. That’s the acid test of identifying a sociopath; how do they treat people who can’t benefit them.

With all that said a part of me can’t help a bit envy for these people at times. They seem to always get what they want. Sociopathic men usually do (at least initially) very well romantically with women compared to more empathetic men.

It’s because they come off as confident and non chalant because they aren’t worried about hurting a woman’s feelings. They understand the concept of challenge and good at being manipulative. But they put on acts like they care to convince them otherwise. And of course they become the nasty heart break stories women complain about. Then some of these hurt women generalize ALL men for these asshole’s bs.

But on the flip side it must be a heavy burden knowing that you can never really be trusted and must always cover your ass.

Not too long ago I went on date for the hell of it with a young woman I had very little physical attraction for. But I treated her well, bought her drinks, engaged in a good conversation and even drove her back to her place.

After some discussion she made a very insulting comment about my haircut a few moments after I dropped her off. Taken aback and pissed off I just said “well fuck you & have a good night” and left. I did nothing to provoke her. I didn’t hit on her.

The next day I sent her a DM saying “that haircut comment was mean”. She responded “you know what you are completely right. You did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me”. She then proceeded to literally beg to me (not exaggerating) to go on a second date. She kept going off on how cute I was & everything else.

I told her I felt better that she apologized but I declined. I wished her the best.

I later asked myself (and should have asked her) would she have apologized if she did not find me attractive? I highly doubt it. Her apology wasn’t truly genuine because there was still something in it for her.

The world isn’t fair. It’s obviously easier to mistreat people who are of little or no value to you. It’s like seeing a homeless person. There is virtually nothing they can do for you (and they can be annoying or even dangerous). But would you do something nice for them and do it discreetly (not for optics)?

It is just in my experience especially with dating is that women have a harder time respecting men they don’t find value in.

To a limited extent I can understand they don’t want to give the guy the wrong idea. But once a woman determines a man is of little use to her she feels like it’s okay to disrespect him much more then vice versa

I have been in the reverse position a few times. I won’t bend over backwards for those women. But I won’t ghost or disrespect them either. I will politely turn them down.