I’ve been unofficially dating this girl since Super Bowl Sunday. We’ve been on 5 real dates and hung out a few times. Things were going so well that I asked her to become official on date 4. She said not yet.
Date 5 was yesterday and she told me she was going to a concert today that’s 2 hours away with her co-worker Fred. Fred doesn’t like me and told her that he doesn’t think I’m genuine. I’ve never met him and I don’t know what she’s telling him about me. I ask her if she’s ever dated Fred and she said he’s practically gay to her because he’s atheist. I notice that she talks about him a lot and when I’ve hung out with her late at night, he’s always texting her and sometimes trying to FaceTime. I once asked her how would her male friendships change if we became official. She said not at all. That’s a red flag to me.
I know we’re not official, but this is bothering me a lot more than I thought it would. I haven’t talked to her all day. We have plans tomorrow to watch her favorite movie at her place, however I’m thinking about deciding not to see her anymore.
It really sucks because things were going great until this Fred debacle. I think Fred likes her and is trying to sabotage my relationship with her. She told me she didn’t even want to go to the concert, but only went because Fred didn’t want to go alone. The tickets were $225 each and he paid for her ticket. I feel like if she truly cared about me, she wouldn’t have gone.
She also normally tells her family everything, but she admitted she didn’t tell them she was going to the concert with Fred. Her family really likes me and thinks I’m a nice guy, “doing all the right things”. Her hiding this is suspicious. I don’t trust her.
Is it wrong for me to feel like this? Is this something I should talk over with her to give her a chance or should I just pull the plug (which is my gut feeling to do)?
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