Search Results: unhappy friend

I know we all do but I’m obsessed with it. I’m always thinking on how I look, always checking me out, always retouching my makeup and thinking (I have pretty bad dark circles so im always thinking of it) I can’t live my house if I don’t have at least concelear and mascara (my makeup is simple and natural but the fact that I retouch it every time makes it worst)
When I was like 11, 12, 14 and 13 people used to make fun of my appearance and used to tell me horrible things like you are a monster, you are horrible, you should kill yourself, you are fake (prettier in photos that in person) guys never liked me always said I was ugly and if any guy liked me they woud tell him like what do you see in that girl? I was always envy of the prettiest girl in my school, all the people talked about how beautiful and perfect she was, man and woman, because of that people treated her so well.
Now I’m 18 and I always think about how I look and now that I look better I always want people to tell me that I’m beautiful, I want boys to like me. Im a nice person, I treat everyone as equals and I never judge people’s appearance because I don’t want them to feel the way I felt... I’m getting crazy what can I do? I want to be a better person, I’ve lost friends because they say I’m always retouching my makeup and looking in my phone mirror.. I can hold up a pretty interesting conversation and be a good friend but I want to over this obsession. I’m unhappy of the way I look...

Personally I have very negative views of people online and people in general. Mostly unattractive and/or overweight people tend to be the most unhappy and troll online. I'm also not fond of whites (I'm not racist) I don't like their vibes at all. I stick to dating my own kind (black men) and prefer black female friends.