Search Results: being a virgin

DISCLAIMER!! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PART OF DATING WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A PARTNER BEFORE YOU'VE ACTUALLY FOUND SOMEONE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH

Is sometimes feels like we live in an era where you're expected to just give yourself away when dating like a donation, as if what you want doesn't really matter. Always telling other people how their dating standards are wrong. Why do we do this to each other.

The most out of the box dating standard that I have is that I only want to date virgin women (I'm a virgin too). I'm not dating at the moment but I do think about it a lot. I really tried to think otherwise and be more "accepting", but I basically forcing myself to be open to something I truly didn't want. People who were supposed to be my main influence in my youth gave me the wrong perception of sex and dating, the biggest one being my first step dad. I have mental issues and I have crazy delusions and I feel that dating someone who's not a virgin would just lead me down a mental decline and will live a life of depression and insecurity. Here's one of the delusions I would have, this is from my actual journal

So I decided to think about myself and my own happiness and accepted this standard as who I am, but I can't help but think that everyone is giving me angry eyes about it. Am I wrong for this? Let me know below.

I've also noticed that people who do shame people about their standard tend to be hypocrites. The women will say that it's wrong to reject a woman for her sex history but will turn around and say they won't date a conservative and the men will say that it's wrong for women to care about financial status but turn around and say they won't date a girl with small butt and boobs. So your standards are wrong but their's is fully justified, rules for the but not for me.

DATE WHO THE HELL YOU WANT AS LONG AS IT'S LEGAL
CAN WE AGREE WITH THAT?

Back in the beginning of 2015, I was suicidal because I couldn't find another virgin to lose my virginity to. I was overdosing on my meds and kept going in and out of hospitals.

I was on this dating platform, OKCupid, and this girl messaged me. She contacted me first and I started talking to her. I explained my situation and she didn't believe me. She then avoided me.

I ended up being hospitalized again for a suicide attempt. After I was released, I messaged her and sent her a picture of my hospital wristband as proof that I was hospitalized. She then believed me and we started messaging again.

Come to find out she was 16. I was 20 at the time, but looking at the state laws in the state she resided, she was of legal age for sex.

We started talking more and more and even snapchatted. After a few months, we agreed to meet up. She was hesitant at first but she decided to go through with it.

I drove 7 hours all the way to her state to meet her. We walked the mall, had an ice cream, then we went to the hotel and we took each other's virginities. I even still have the pictures of the blood stained sheets when I popped her cherry.

The day after, we spent the entire day at the amusement park. I fell in love with her I thought. It was all affection and holding hands and kissing. I thought I found my first girlfriend. Later before we departed, she told me she did not want anything serious it shattered my heart.

I stopped talking to her for two weeks. Then I messaged her again and she said she was glad I contacted her and she had locked herself in her room crying at one point.

We started talking again, and at one point she told me I was the best guy she ever met. Although she led me on a little, she said she did not want a relationship. I was crushed.

Later, I started to question if she really was a virgin and even called her up crying. She reassured me I was her first.

Eventually I made her mad and she told me to never talk to her again.