Search Results: being guarded

I ask bc I often see questions from MEN on gag, regarding women being evasive when asked out. As if it is a behavioral flaw specific to a gender , rather than an occasional ( if not _ideal_) type of reaction any human being is capable of making, given the situation.

Asking and Hearing from women who regularly ask men out , they experience similar things.

I am wondering if the assumption that not being direct is something specific to women , may have developed bc men typically are not oit in the same position of having to answer on the spot.

It is easy to know what you want when you are the one who planned for it... Whereas if anyone is caught off guard and not sure about certain things it can be difficult to simply answer black and white.

I know there are all kinds of reasons a person may avoid saying yes or no

They do enough about the person to know if they are or are not interested

They don’t want to appear too eager

They are not sure his they feel

They dk if it’s honest question

They do if they will mess things up

they dk the person well enough to understand their question - what do they want when they ask

They may be interested but lack time or not sure if schedule

They may not want to have to say no

I think the last point is simply ONE among many
While anything other than yes is taken as the last.

I do understand wanting to get yes or be done with it.. However I wonder if everyone was accustomed to being asked out, if they might see that it is more complicated than yes or no.

so I’m asking guys who _have_ been asked oit have you always answered unequivocally , yes or no?

if not can you explain what was going on at the time to prevent your doing so?

Thank you !✨✨

I was briefly seeing a guy - went out for about 3 dates before he tried to pull the Netflix and Chill stuff a couple times - said he was working late and couldn't meet earlier. I figured that was BS so i told him we'll see how it goes (that was me saying no).

He reached out a couple weeks later to see how i was doing. That was when we started to engage in a series of text trying to outwit the other with snippy comebacks to see who had the upper-hand. It was flirty and fun at first until it wasn't. It got to the point where it was a bit insincere and leading nowhere..

I told him I'd like to see him again and he did ask me out saying we should hang out the next day (no specific plans) - but I wasn't sure if he was still trying to pull the NF & chill thing though it was a move away from going back to his place. Anyway, I think I had a sudden change of mind/ cold feet of being irrationally afraid of getting played and chose to ignore his text, thinking he would not follow up. He did and asked if we were gonna see each other again. And that was when I told him straight i didn't think we're looking for the same things and wished him good luck. He didn't even open the message, let alone reply - i was told that his ego took a beating and he was caught off guard by my response?

In any case, it's been 2 months now and I find myself thinking of him very frequently for past week. Is it a good idea if I were to reach out (festive season and all)? Or would I just seem a bit loony after blowing him off (though I wasn't sure of his intentions)?

Coworker A and B are well liked amongst everyone and both good friends of mine. Coworker A has been at this job for 6 years. Coworker B started 4 months ago and this is her first job. Coworker A and B are both shy but they are definitely shy around each other. Coworker A was playing mind games with B’s emotions. Coworker B got sick of it (going on for 2 months) and asked Coworker A out but coworker A was caught off guard and said he was not interested. A immediately felt bad and regretted the decision. B was distancing herself from him all last week and when they did talk she joked around harshly and her whole demeanor changed. A got feelings for B and B was acting like a complete bitch and A was being nice and doing things for her. A got fed up with her shitty attitude towards him and found her twitter and she made tweets wanting to plot revenge on a coworker that nobody likes (all she was gonna do was hide her stuff around the room, really stupid childish stuff nothing major) he screenshotted and printed out her tweets and took them to HR. She was on the brink of being fired anyways because she was continuously late (she got several warnings before her write ups). Coworker A then blocked her on everything. Coworker B got fired yesterday and she found out it was A who ratted her out. Coworker A shouldn’t have gotten involved but he called it revenge. Everybody is mad at A For saying anything. Yes it was wrong but she was a good coworker who rarely caused trouble plus nobody liked that other girl. Coworker A now feels bad for what he did but the damage is done and he’s actually sad that he won’t see B again. He has tried apologizing and messaging B but she’s not responding to him. She is also blaming herself on how she handled the situation after initially being rejected (being a bitch to him all last week), I think they are both too emotionally immature and their personalities are too similar for this to work.