Dumb little rant about a girl that upset me!

[Spawnface]

I'll make this short, as really, I don't think I have much to offer past a rant here. It's not even going to really be an attempt to convey or suggest some sort of motto or attitude. Its just a rant about a girl. I am also going to leave out as many details as I can that may be unneccessary to point out.

Anyways, so I met this girl pretty much at random. She came to me and just wanted to talk, for the sole purpose of meeting new people, which I thought was cool, I like to talk. She's an intelligent girl so she was able to be very honest, direct and open with herself. We quickly got into her personal matters. We talked for weeks almost every other day and it seemed nice, I thought I was doing her good by just being someone to talk to, which she told me she needed.

As time continued there we instances where my life left me pretty upset and I either wanted to talk about it or be left alone. One these times she called me I tried to say what was going on and her immediate reply was "Oh you always talk about yourself!", despite never actually having a conversation about me or my life. I sucked it in for a second but after she went on with this mind numbing yabber about her day I cut it short and said "I don't feel like talking, I'm going to go". I was pretty livid, especially after I had previously told her that "If there's anything bothering you, lets talk about that first because you aren't going to be able to think straight otherwise" in a situation where she was trying to skim over a problem she was feeling.

Pretty much this kinda repeated itself with every attempt to recontact me. We started out with a no bullshit policy we agreed to when we first started talking and now she was basically covertly censoring me. I knew what this type of person was after, I mean I know these types of people. I spent the entire time before that being as nice and courteous as possible, treating her like I'd treat a person in need of help. It was obvious though that she was a princess. A person that is completely concieted and generally uses others indispencibly. I was just a pair of ears for her rattling stories. I also know what these women are like when you aren't around. They call you their bitch among their friends and brag about how they use you. It's a sick game of taking advantage of the goodwill of other people and twisting it into something decrepit.

I haven't or I can't talk to the person because the only thing I think I will do is sternly bring it up and probably lose my temper. I know this happens to guys more stupid than I am, it actually happens with the sexes reversed to. This behaviour allowed to continue diminishes a persons ability or drive to stick up for themself. It's an incremental slope into a submissive mindset, where typically the dominant person is abusive in nature. It goes unnoticed or just not payed attention to enough and guys and girls fall into this trap. Eventually, you become conditioned into being complacent and neglected. It's really a pity when tbis happens because so many people are caught off guard and don't see what's coming.

Anyways, like I said. I didn't have a purpose here. If I can leave the reader with anything, its be like me and don't deal with people that play that game. Or better yet, get angry when you should. Because I really regret not spazzing at them. I feel like now that person will never really understand why I left them and that because of it they will never reflect on it and will continue doing it to other people.

Rant done

[VIVANT]

Totally get this ahd I’ve met people like that... I don’t think I have your ability to tolerate it for so long but I don’t think it’s a weakness and when you met your limit you are aware.

It’s still good you tried helping her bc that remains the person you are which will benefit you and others... she is going to call flat on her face and no one will be around to help her up. People like that are translucent and burn out good will quick.

Thanks for sharing. I saw this bc I saw another answer from you I liked shd I went to check other - as I do- to see if it was a fluke or not.

It was decidedly not. 😊✨✨

[Spawnface]

Thank you for your praise. I appreciate your comment. It makes me feel good.

The whole scenario was rather troubling. The basic drive a person would expect to have is a type of family care for one another where care is simply extended when and where its needed. It ofcoarse is first confusing to experience the situation where you thought you and the other person had a good relationship, only to find out they were just using you. I've definitely been caught by surprise but simply I wouldn't do it to anyone else, I wouldn't let anyone else do it to another person, so I wouldn't let it happen to me because its wrong. Its very wrong. That and life is already confusing, playing these games were you have to guess a persons evil intent is strenuous. It also cause long term damage left unattended. Like, its just completely awful.

However, that said, ofcoarse I have to still be nice because her bad behaviour doesn't negate the value of good behaviour, like I can't just go and hit in on the head because thats wrong too! Worse probably... But ya, so ofcoarse I have to be the victim and tolerate it as long as i need to, not saying Im going to be a walking doormat, but Im not going to forsake the good in me for that.

[thothahuramazda]

Women are selfish by default men make women take so she doesn't care and she knows she can get all the cash and prizes and white knights to defend her. No woman has morals just a facade to keep up appearances to keep getting attention the D and welfare. she's a con artist who has no heart. She only cares about herself and men are disposable. Save the women throw away the men right? You can't change evil only chain it to its cell.

[Spawnface]

I am sure there is some truth to what you say. I'd say though that those arguments are for another story. And I'd recommend to you to regroup your thought as you might become careless in your frustration towards what it is you are speaking of. You certainly don't want to believe that all women have no morals, I understand that society is filled to the brim with chaos but those who are innocent deserve better and those who are guilty still need a better resolve from ourselves than simple hatred. Because for the most part, people still adhere to goodness, even the wicked, most people live under mental conditions limiting them to devicive attitudes. Those attitudes are the result of the collective neglect from society. As individuals there can be change and reform and the reform is borne from other people acting as responsible individuals. So, I'd recommend to you to not get lossed in your own ferver and reassess the situation.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Everything you just said I would have told her. I have a temper and the moment she would've started off with "you always talk about yourself," I would have stopped her and discussed that situation. Then explained what I was actually going through so she understands. So we can guess find a solution. Even if I failed I mean we wouldn't speak anymore but I tried I guess. That's how I view it.

But I think it's admirable that you shared this story. Therapeutic too. I enjoyed it, And I can understand why she pissed you off.

[Spawnface]

Pretty smart for a 25yr im going to imagine. If you actually do that than that's highly admirable. It takes courage and bravery to be that honest. Not only that but a great deal of honesty to. Plus, the alternative is rather destructive, you know? tough love still beats no love. I kinda feel like these short comings are the result of the latter.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Well this I'd my sister's old profile, I've been trying to change the age. I'm actually 18. But thank you nonetheless, and I think it's honesty by default.

I naturally can't hold things on my heart too long. I try to fix things when I'm upset because most of the time it's just a misunderstanding or it's something that can be fixed through discussion/time. And I can see what you mean.

[Spawnface]

OMG your 18! The dude that marries you better god damn well be a terrific guy and you better not expect anything less from him... Damn...

I feel the same way. You know, the tough love thing, it's because you actually have everyones best interest at heart. I mean most people just bullshit because its easy and who cares what happens next.. You know it takes a lot of responsibility to even try to be honest with people, and you know its because that BS really is just immature crap that ruins everyones day... Plus its hard to get any work done with it around.

[Spawnface]

Your a girl tho right? All i goy to go off of is that the use of the term heart is indicative of gender

[CherryRoseChampange]

I agree wholeheartedly, and thank you haha. That's very kind. Yes I'm a female 😂😂😂 and it's alright. It's a valid question.

[Spawnface]

Good, didn't want to think I thought a guy was attractive there

[CherryRoseChampange]

It's alright haha, I get it. And thanks! 😆😆😆 Most people just run away when they hear my actual age. Or accuse me of being some big hoax but I'm very open about my age and etc on here. I answer honestly. So I don't mind whatever questions they have for me.

And I've told people on GAG many times these things. I guess it's just nice to see someone who isn't freaked out. Thanks for that. You're a rarity.

[Darknut]

That I do believe you have a temper. Which makes you even more desirable sexual tension at its peak.

[Spawnface]

I grew up in a pretty bad home. I pretty much had to mature and smarten up in my early teens. It really taught me that age isn't indicative of intelligence or wisdom. My parent was much older and couldnt be depended on for nothing. there's kids out there entering their 30's that still haven't grown up. I don't doubt it because intelligence is gifted by adopting certain personality traits including being honest and having courage. Those don't occur over time, they are a commitment that happens from a spontaneous choice event and it happens after any age.

And I feel relieved to see you too because... Hate to have to be the "sexist"... most girls aren't very smart... Its not everyday you talk to sonebody who is willing to be boldy truthful... Well, there's a bunch more guys in that catagory but still they hit the ceiling too, because as far as Im concerned, spirituality is tantamount to intelligence if not inextricable and there's plenty of people that simply can mature outta where they are at. Mostly with girls they get too caught up being girls, which equates to saying "girls aren't a stereotype" while ironically fulfilling the stereotype in their hysterical neuroticism.

Byt how the hell you manage with people if I may ask? Its a bloody jungle out there. aren't you afraid of being slaughtered by the monkey tribes?

[Spawnface]

darknut, the flirting is casual, no need to go overboard.

[Darknut]

Too afraid to be forward... whats wrong that.

[Spawnface]

no its rude. No one is interested and your just invading peoples space. Its not bravery its retarded

[CherryRoseChampange]

Wow that's terrible, I'm sorry you grew up in a bad home. I agree with you though, intellect and overall wisdom isn't limited to specific age. And I think bad event's kind of triggers maturity to come to some more than others sometimes. But that's just my theory. It's not always the case or fact of course.

And it's alright haha, alright, a lot of people have intellectual flaws. I know for me I can have a lot of dumb moments lol. But I learn from them I guess. And agree with you on the "girls get caught up with being girls," standpoint.

[Darknut]

Priorities are all in the wrong place all over this website

[CherryRoseChampange]

And I'm not afraid of being slaughtered but I'm aware it could happen if that makes sense. Grew up in a harsh environment. So I've seen and been through a lot. Made me resilient in a way.

[Spawnface]

I think i blocked the guy. hopefulky i won't have to see that anymore. Thats really the second person I've ever blocked, but he's just getting in the way.

Thank you for your sympathies. Although, they are merely formalities. The truth is fortune and misfortune are one in the same. It has been a boon to me and without suffering I would be another layman.

However, its not suffering directly that causes it. Its correlated because it makes the choice to do good more present. In regular life people dont usually come to pontificating things like value or spiritual matters. Its usually when people come into contact with the troubles of degeneracy that the need of such values makes itself present. But still, there's people that only go further into darkness and still there's people who never experience awful things that still cone to realise value, simply because value is produced by honesty and truth.

Got your secobd message RN so this is just in accorance to the first

[Spawnface]

Ah, I see. Well, I will assume that you know how to take care of yourself then. You then will also see the utility in just being straight with people. As ofcoarse, one only suffers from their own misinformations.

I commend you for staying gold too. Its a treasure for everyone to hear of thst, a rare treasure.

[Spawnface]

Another question if I may, what do you think made you stay on the path of being good? provided thatA I am guessing you are a good person simply by the way you think and talk.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Haha that guy was a little funny to me because he was so random. And wow second huh? I used to be like that but now I block people without caring too much. Some people just won't give it up less you do. I still rarely do it but now I just don't mind doing it.

And I agree without my own misfortunes I doubt I be the person I am today. It's helped mold me so I'm grateful for that. And I have always admired those with little misfortunes who still became wonderful and well-rounded people.

[CherryRoseChampange]

And I know the gist of how to take care of myself but I learn more each day. And I agree. Thank you, I definitely try to stay on a good path

[CherryRoseChampange]

And honestly i don't think of myself as simply good or bad. I'm kind of a mix of both in my own way. Like the yin and yang symbol almost. Both my dark and light parts come together to make a whole and I go from there because need them both if that makes sense.

So path wise I don't think of it as following a good path outside of what it means to me. I follow what I personally resonate with and carry myself that way because it brings me happiness. So in short, I guess the will to be happy and stay true to myself keeps me on the path I'm on.

[CherryRoseChampange]

And I haven't been the way I am now all my life. I've been toxic before. And crazy. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of growing up. But I've learned, loved, lost, and etc in the short amount of time that I've been alive so I guess that's another reason I'm not afraid of being slaughtered. I think even if everything does end for me I've lived a solid life already, however short it was. Don't want to die or be put in bad situations but I'm not afraid of it.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Sorry rambling 😅

[Spawnface]

Brilliantly said! I am filled with admiration. Not so much that I think of you as incredibly intelligent, it just seems to me that despite a lack of knowledge you are very wise. Thats unique among people, especially girls. Its even a greater value because you exude such a terrific feminine aura.

I also laugh at this idea of your dark side, lol. I mean, I can see you having normal faults but not darth vader proportions. hell, my own sister is likely trying to plot a murder against my own mother, lol. You are far from the darkness I know.

I do understand what you mean though.

So, you see the meaning of both yin and yang in yourself, roughly speaking. Its a type of intuition and reflection thats special. Its even more special that you percieve this thing you speak of as outside of good and evil, or rigid dogma. Its instead another self awareness that shows humility.

Im going to comment on that guy in a sec too.

I actualky wanted to give you time to ramble as I anticipated that you would have needed it. I actually thirst for this rambling as from what I can tell it's what people were meant to do.

So feel free to embrace me in your thoughts and words Id love to hear them.

I also haven't responded to your latter replies though, this was written while only seeing the two. Anyways go on if you can.

[Spawnface]

May I ask too, have you ever known real love? I am curious.

[Spawnface]

Also while I wait, ill comment on buddy.

So buddy there, I almost never block people because I can usually get along with anybody and generally not afraid to cross swords, especially seeing that I almost always win.

But unlike any other time, this guy was blocking somethimg I thought was too important to let him have any leniance. I couldve scolded or reasoned with him but its too much a rare treat to see soneobe tbat exudes your type of behaviour.. Im rather xallous and jaded towards people. They often enrage the depths of my heart. Its because rarely, they do not have good hearts themselves...

[CherryRoseChampange]

Actually everything you got from my rambles is correct. I think of myself as more wise than incredibly intelligent. I'm far from a genius. And I know it may not seem believable but I do have dark parts haha. I just carry them well I suppose? I don't know haha. It's hard to explain. And the way you described the yin yang is exactly how I see it haha. I'm surprised you actually want to listen to my rambles though bit it gives me something to do. I love interesting conversations.

[CherryRoseChampange]

And yes actually, in different ways though. My first loves were my parents. Non romantic of course. But I cared for them deeply despite them being abusive. So much so that while they were abusing me o told child services I was being bullied instead of being hurt at home. And I did self harm because I thought it would help me understand why they hurt me. Maybe I could learn on my own and it wouldn't hurt as bad. It just went downhill for a long time. And I won't lie they broke my heart time and time again. Those were they were the first lessons I had to learn from in life.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Second would be the guy I'm with now. My boyfriend. I've had a few boyfriend's but this particular one is my first love romantically. But that situation is just a long story lol

[CherryRoseChampange]

And it's alright, I totally understand. You did seem quite irritated that he kept getting in the way of our conversation. I just ignored and kept going on but I would have asked him to stop eventually if it started progressing forward. You saved me by blocking I suppose so I'm not opposed to what happened.

[Spawnface]

Women are a man's greatest treasure. The greatest treasures of life don't exist past the skies or under the oceans, they lay at our feet if we were only to appreciate them. I'd be a fool to not realise the rambles you have as treasures. Furthermore, the type of rambling you have is far more of a treasure than that which is a trifling pleasantry. Because the greatest of treasures, the greatest of resources, are human hearts, which yours seem to be quite well adjusted.

But surely, thats not just a silly sentiment, its an elaborate philosophy condensed into the form of a praise. there's more of that elsewhere. Anywho.

I find what you have told me to be terrific. Tragic and sad ofcoarse, but the product that emerged from it is what is terrific.

I had a suspescion that you knew of love. Thats what grounds people in virtue. Its no surprise to me the roots which they can emerge from, nonetheless its astounding that you still retained some form of humane purity across your troubles. Like, that love arises from early infancy. It's almost completely pure at that stage. It's almost as simple as simple emotional bonding, it has in it an attachement for human warmth, the idealising of the family, etc. But sometimes, when it corrupts its get very dark, as you would imagine. Ofcoarse, you attacked yourself instead of your family, which may be virtuous in some regard. But its better than what can happen, which is when people strive to destroy the world. So, you maintained this love from early childhood, specifically a love for your parents, despite their cruelty.

Some other people develop a sense of righteousness far afterwards and sometimes not from birth at all. Sometimes its the consequence of heroism. Soldiers for instance, quickly familiarize themselves with value because its of the highest existential priorities.

[Spawnface]

Its no wonder why you appear so feminine.

Personally, my own sense of love was inspired by a love of God, when I still had the pride to lay my face toward such a thing. Simply, it was the knowledge of the severity of the cost of truth and the ideas that caring and loving people beyond my own fleshly needs like survival, was absolutely vital in the restoration of a greater order... Today I am less ambitious and jaded to have kept in my moral center but nonetheless, if it wasn't for my purpose, I would have been evil.

Anyone with a why can bear any how.

[Spawnface]

Whats realky special too is because of the survival of your base instinctual love you will no doubt provide a great life for your children when the time arise. Its definitely a great boon.

[Spawnface]

there's something that I wanted to add thats not coming to mind...

Anyways, this love anyways is what shapes our values. It can be a bit arcaic and sometimes rather bland but it nonetheless is the bedrock of our species evolution. It arises purely outta of genetic factors I assume but its further molded by the genius of our own minds. The problem with it is that often people and their brains don't see value the same. People today hardly show an appreciation for it. Mostly because in use to be a existential neccesity, it was the reason why we stayed alive. It ofcoarse restores itself in the realisation of its vital importance, parents become to know of it after seeing the frailty of their children, people can come to know it when experienced with near death circumstances. Its rather a basic logic to it too. But nonetheless it has been replaced due to its seemingly unimportant nature with our ability to easily survive. Even though. those who face chaos, despite rejecting love beforehand, cry to the sky for a hand in humanity.

[Spawnface]

Anyways ill let you catch up. No need to rush.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Sorry haha give me a moment. I'll respond to everything in a minute. It's just that it's Ironically my mother's birthday and I'm cooking her some food right now. We don't really get along much still but I still like to do things for her.

[Spawnface]

lol, you are so sweet. No problem!

[CherryRoseChampange]

Reading your comments now. You have a interesting way of words. I agree with your points. But do you mind if I ask if you write poetry?

[Spawnface]

The only poetry I possess is myself.

[Spawnface]

Hey, I've got to get going ATM. So send me everything you got and ill get back to you later

[CherryRoseChampange]

Aww that's both admirable and disappointing. You'd be great at poetry if you ever pursued it. And in regards to your comments on love. I suppose it is a big thing that has helped mold/ground me to my virtues and values in life. You speak about love in this poetic way almost. That's why I asked you if you wrote poetry by the way.

But for me love has always been something to me that's kind of raw. I'm a writer and I still have a hard to correctly describing it strangely. I don't know

[CherryRoseChampange]

And how do I appear feminine again? Haha. I never imagined myself having a feminine nature outside of physical appearance really.

[CherryRoseChampange]

And thank you when it comes to what you said about me being good with children if I ever have any. It's actually a big desire of mine to have some by a certain age. I always wanted to make my own family. I like taking care of and nurturing people. Children especially. I think they're beautiful.

[CherryRoseChampange]

And not going to lie I'm a little worn out so it's hard to comprehend all of you last paragraph. I understand the gist but I think your intellect exceeds mine 😅😅😅😆😆😆 you don't have to be too formal with me either. I'm cool with casual talk.

[Spawnface]

Well, I am glad you would prefer sonething more casual because as to decribe what I mean or in how I see you as feminine, I'll just defer to your own general veiw. Because these things we tend to have some knowledge of within us. We just don't have them written out like some sciencey mumbo jumbo. Like how you would feel about your knowlefge of love being raw. If you haven't seen your self in such a way I'd assume that's only because you don't look for it.

As for poetry, well, to me I only speak in the truths I have come to know, I could see poetry being an expression of truth but the act of writing it for the sake of writing it seems to make it a pale imitation. Or at least what comes to my mind when poetry is mentioned is superficial mumbo jumbo attempting to portray itself as intriguing.

And as for your last comment about my intellect exceeding your own, you'd be mistaken. Although I would consider myself greater than some other people, it's because by stupid I am infering shamefulness, because essentially stupidity is only wreckless abandon and arrogance. I simply don't like other peoples awful behaviours and consider them stupid, however I am not intelligent per se. Instead I am just bold, often beyond my means to support myself. I try to express things that I feel without restraint, I try to muster the meaning of my own thoughts and so I can go off on wild spiels at times. In otherwords I just talk a lot and usually that in itself suffices to compensate for intelligence.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I don't know about this girl in particular, but I do think that many people who engage in such behavior are so narcissistic that they have no awareness of what they are doing and how it is perceived by others. Therefore they don't brag to others about how you are their slave, but they may talk to others about this wonderful, satisfying relationship that they have.

2. The concept you were developing in the second half of your rant is "taking the first step down the slippery slope."

[Spawnface]

Sure, like its a type, right? The individual and the classes of individuals can differ and there can be all sorts of these types in various dilentiations.

For example, I don't actually, know for a fact that she went and bragged to her friends, yada yada. But its happened in simular cases. It's not impossible and it's plausible. Equally, she could have said so in a nicer way, but we are only trying to provide reference to what is the anomoly in certainty.

[HOAAH]

Girls do this to me as well. I was conditioned by my mom and sister to be the neglected and ignored one, and only to listen and not talk. They would talk on and on about stupid stuff like how great they are, how everyone is jealous of them and how stupid me and everyone else is. It was very brainwashing type talk. I hated it so i feel you. I like to listen to others stories and be interested in them, but i like them to be interested in me too. Relationship is a two way street.

[Spawnface]

I am sorry to hear that. Ofcoarse you or anyone else deserves better and I commemerate you for having to endure such a fate.

Unfortunately the problem is far worse than one would image. In later history we will look back and see ourselves in a time period where things like mental illness and degeneracy are epidemically running rampant. We don't today because we are so ill the masses cannot concieve of such an idea. The masses today seem to have the impression that everybody is normal, there is no distinction between people other than a few selective preferences like taste in clothing and movies. They don't see the type of crowd psychologies that consume them. They don't see one another as pathological narcistists. While the average person believes themselves to be enlightened beyond the metaphorical apes we evolved from, the fact is that most people exist without the type of consciousness we ascribe to the enlightened and are merely animal type humanoids. Although, every person has this spark of goodness inside of them, it remains unlit. The problem we face today is the constant suppression by the masses of our enlightened qualities. Whereas what you have described is very common, yet it is unpopular to say. Likewise, all our real problems are suppressed under the whims of those living in perpetual compulsion.

I feel for you. It's definitely awful stuff for that to happen. It's an abuse and perversion of everything good we stand for.

[Spawnface]

As you said it's like a type of brainwash and it's not just isolated inside you or another individual it's a contagion infecting the minds of the broader society.

I'd recommend that you continue investigating your own self knowledge as I think it's tantamount to later exposing this type of social disease. Understanding the nature of your upbringing highlights and gives distinction to the nature of the problem of these people and it needs to be examined because as we are now it seems like an inkling in the darkness and it needs to be firmly embodied with definition as to be able to be interpretted elsewhere. That and it's existed for so long and will continue until a grass like movement occurs from those suffering from narcistic abuse.

[HOAAH]

the issue is the abuser doesn't understand they are doing anything wrong. the abused usually feels hurt, which i did, and gets psychological help

[Spawnface]

Wait a second! No, don't go creating defenses for your abuser, lol. That's only to withdraw to you victimized role and play out the will of the abuser. Those guys are assholes, they don't deserve you covering their ass. More importantly, you deserve better, if not to spite them then to protect you.

[Spawnface]

www.google.com/.../what-is-learned-helplessness-2795326&ved=2ahUKEwiWqeGZxc_fAhWfFjQIHZiWBNsQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0ns6zklSULqCGdKq9vNw1Q&cshid=1546447355670

[Spawnface]

That link. is what your doing

[Spawnface]

whoops wrong link lol

[Spawnface]

www.britannica.com/science/learned-helplessness

[Spawnface]

thats the one

[HOAAH]

I think i do have some form of learned helplessness, and i have some form of social anxiety and imposter syndrome which is learned as well. I am going to counseling, so at least i am trying to get out of my mental state. I am barely talking to my mom or sister anymore. So that helps☺

[Spawnface]

I am happy to hear that you are getting better, im sure your a lovely person and you deserve it.

But I would suggest that although you may see yourself as having symptoms of these types of ailments, you shouldn't let yourself identify as being mentally ill or something, because the totality of how you feel and what you are can't be summed up as merely deficient.

Like, I am sure your a terrific girl and you can overcome what ever gets in your way after this. I just fear that sometimes people take these issues and then use them to isolated themselves into some sort of disabilitied personhood. It's like they say they can't do better because there's something wrong with them and it's not true.

You may not feel that way but just incase I am suggesting it to you.

I also think that people that endure these tribulations come out with superb abilities and become very smart. I just want to let you know that I think you are very strong to have to endure these things and be able to come out of them on top.

Also, its great you don't speak with toxic people. I always say principle before people. That way I am always true to myself. And frankly, some people aren't worth the time of their existence.

If you're seeking help and counselling, look out for FDM , its incredible at helping people. you should check. it out sometime

https://www.youtube.com/user/stefbot

[watercolor_lions]

I totally 100% get where you're coming from...

My biggest peeve is when I am nice to a guy and listen to them 99% of the time, and later profess that they love me more than anything. Like their love is unfathomable or eternal. But I tell them they don't know me; so they say they want to, and that they can handle it. But when I do, they can't. And I become a demon from hell, because my opinion of them is no longer 100% nice.

People like to live in this delusion that relationships can exist one-sided...

[Spawnface]

K wait, what happens?

[watercolor_lions]

Example: my friend told me he loved me more than anything. So I tested it. I gave him a fair criticism: he was acting like his mom, so I told him (he complained about her interrupting, not listening).

Apparently that makes me a terrible person. Stopped talking to me for months. No longer "eternally loved" me.

[watercolor_lions]

He'd only ever experienced me listening/being a counselor. Not being a real person: myself.

[Spawnface]

Is that really nice though?

[watercolor_lions]

I am constructively critical of all my friends. He didn't like me: he liked who he thought I was. My friends know me as honest. He always talked and never knew me as me.

[Spawnface]

Don't you think that it was maybe because... you weren't being you?

[watercolor_lions]

Nvm, it's okay if you don't get it.

[Spawnface]

Actually, I think I get it. Im just being nice.

[watercolor_lions]

My point is: any of my other friends could have taken it because they knew me.

He couldn't because it was such a drastic shock.

[watercolor_lions]

I think friends are allowed to give constructive criticism.

[Spawnface]

Yeah but usually friends can take it when they know how to understand it. If your boyfriend came up to you one day and said,"guess what? Im actually a woman" you would probably be confused right?

[watercolor_lions]

My point I was making was, he never cared to understand. Ever.

[watercolor_lions]

He just talked. All the time.

[watercolor_lions]

How is my boyfriend supposed to tell me he's a woman if I talk all the time?

[Spawnface]

Sure, but thst sounds one sided right? Like you put on an act of being "nice" than expect him to know about this other side of you?

[watercolor_lions]

I did care about him--don't get me wrong--and I still do. I listen to all my friends. But I didn't want to talk unless he took interest... And he didn't.

Maybe I wanted to appear nice. But more than that, I wanted someone to just ask about me. People usually don't. That's something painful about myself: I take so much interest in other people, more than most will ever take in me.

I just love people... But I wanted someone who loved me just as much. And I have. He puts me first, and I put him first.

[watercolor_lions]

*the person I found is different that the prior person

[Spawnface]

Well, you can't realky expect from people that they just know about these things. Like, that other guy is left without a clue as to what he's doing to annoy you and I have to wonder if you ever made the effort to tell him. I mean it's great having someone that takes interest in you, I just have to wonder how much it is that's expected.

I'll come clean. You sound just like this girl I talked to. She had these excuses as to why it was okay to be mean, it was the same tale. She even said the same thing that she "always listened" when in fact she didn't. The listening she practiced was condenscending and an act displaying her irratation, including turning on the tv full blast and what not. there's been a few things you've said that makes me doubt your authenticity and it really looks like the same game she was playing. So I could be wrong and I get that you really have this negative feeling with being fake nice. In fact, you need somebody you can be honest with that actually embraces you. Im just a little in doubt right now.

[watercolor_lions]

It's fine. Tbh, I've changed a lot over the past few years. I did tell him the issues I had with him, and he did come around and say I was right after a year or so. He said he thought about it, and he was just hurt because it was true. I didn't listen begrudgingly. I listened because he was my friend. I think I never confided in him because he laid so many problems on me, I didn't want to overload him.

I have come to accept that people are assholes :/ So I talk about myself more now, without being asked. But I always make a genuine effort to ask about the other person. I just wanted someone to do that for me.

[watercolor_lions]

Also, I don't think being honest is mean? I think people don't like to hear the truth. People have been pretty harsh with me. But I take it in and process it. And I can admit when I am wrong. So can most of my friends. I was just making the point to him, he never took the time to GET to know me.

[Spawnface]

Well, still doubt the rest of the story but now I can tell your being mostly honest.

Ya, well honesty is a two way street. I get you. though, its a pain having to deal with people. Even when they are just dumb and should know better. And sonetimes it just doesn't work out any ways.. Still, no relationship lasts on a lie and even in being nice its still bound to cause corruption. Like, friends dont let friends be liars or stupid. More impirtantly, communication is key to a relationship, its the bedrock foundation. That dishonest stuff, even when its "nice" its not really nice.

[Spawnface]

i didn't see your following comment

[watercolor_lions]

I'll respond later. I told a friend I'd get breakfast with them.

[Spawnface]

Sure. NP. Enjoy your morning. Its my evening pretty much so won't be on till much later

[watercolor_lions]

I've thought about the conversation, and you're probably right: I was bring a fake nice. But I wasn't trying to be.

I did care about him; and I didn't talk shit behind his back. Or even hold a bad opinion of him. But I never voiced myself either. I don't think I was trying to be fake (even if that is what ended up happening).

I just don't like it when people make grand professions of love for me when all they have done is tell me about their problems, and never once asked "Hey, what's your favorite color". That's what I was getting at.

[watercolor_lions]

I don't think not talking about yourself is being dishonest. Why speak if the other person isn't listening? I've tried before, and people just keep going. I just got to the point where I stopped trying.

[Spawnface]

On that note I'll agree with you. I think the title of love demands more than lust and gluttony. I sure didn't feel loved by anyone who said they loved me when they were trying to hurt me. Haven't felt love when people it comes in a post card from someone I've never met. And I think its a rather too heavy of a statement to be throwing around like its only a hotdog at a baseball game. Surely it's troublesome, including the implications that follow it including the failure to live up to the stipulations included with it.

[watercolor_lions]

I think that is why I deliberately hurt him: because a normal person with normal beliefs about me (who knew me because I had a two-way relationship) would get pissed at me... But realize that my criticism was true, and probably would have healed things up quickly.

His response was as if I said his mother were a whore, and I told everyone all of his dirty laundry. This facade of a perfect person he had in his mind of me was broken, and he flipped out. I didn't intend to create this facade. But it happened.

[carlgrim]

Encountered several people like this in my life, they almost always make it about themselves and that their situation is infinitely more that yours.

Could use some paragraphs though, it is difficult for the audience to read a wall of text.

[Spawnface]

thanks, it looked fine on the website. for whatever reason the preveiw and the end result were totally different. It originally was paragraphed and double spaced but it just came out broken.

Yeah, they are very common and its an issue that guys and girls can actually come to share in common, which actually then just transfers sex catagories into good people vs bad people, which most this site is about sex competition, "only my sex matters". Its a problem thats very prevelant in my opinion but its never really pointed out because these bad people seem to trick the good people into distinguishing themselves through sex classes. Like, the bad people whisper into the ears of the niave good people, "Don't make it about bad people, make it about sex" like to create a red herring to throw everyone off track of real issues.

That and it's so subtle. No one really catches it until its too late and its everywhere. You can't really bring it up though because your in an environment where the good and bad occupy the same area. So ofcoarse, being sneaky jerks they always try some form of trick to keep people from realizing the truth. Either it becomes contentious to mention, non relevant random rumors appear about you, you suddenly fibd yourself osterccized with seemingly no reason why. But the reason is that good and bad people share the same space but the good guys and bad guys can't tell each other apart.

[Phanta]

This goes for all men: Never cater to any woman's drama unless you're getting something out of it. Otherwise you will be used and abused.

[Spawnface]

Certainly a good suggestion. The problem is that women are very skilled at manipulation. Not many people can tell what drama is appropriate or not.

Like I didn't realise what type of relationship this was until after I brought myself up. Before that I was being kind, which I don't think can be easily faulted.

On another note though. Even the slightest glimpse into psychology can help read people like this. People like her play into a streamline play book. Which annoys me how girls use the argument that not all girls are the same therefore you can't judge any of them. Thats quite contrary to everything we know in terms of social science, they actually act very identical when placed among certain catagories.

[vald9inches]

Why don’t you just tell her that then? What advantage do you get by not telling her? Also never feed strays what they want they will just keep coming back to you

[Spawnface]

lol. Good advice. Strays, lol.

Well, its just a matter of temper really. I grew up being unable to really express myself in that way. There's an emotional barrier that pops up that prevents me from doing so. I can cone to my senses and overcome it but its just an in built reaction. I guess, it's because it becomes a type of challenge. One where it's basically kill or be killed and being the killer isn't apart of who I am. Especially because I am usually way more powerful in most areas than most people I encounter so I'm bound to do some damage. That and since its a zero sum game bringing out the conflict destroys the relationship. Being sensible, or nice, people like me try to refrain from it without realising that the relationship ceases to have any value at that point anyways. Its really a common occurance in how people react and often our emotions trump outr rationality. At that point it got the better of me. Either way I dont talk to her anymore so all that I lossed was the spazzing part which I felt wouldve been appropriate.

[Kenni]

I honestly can't understand how a woman can be like that. No surprise I can't stand women.

[Spawnface]

Well, people learn quickly that whatever they can get away with they will get away with. So its important to call BS where and when it happens, otherwise it gets out of hand. This is more of a trait of a psychopath or a sociopath than anything else. Mothers do it, fathers do it, brothers, sisters, friends, coworkers, anyone really. It works because there's just no resistance to it and its very beneficial to practice, being a bad person its highly desirable to do.

I think the reason why many people would hold a special spot of it open for women is because women are overly supportive and they are expected to be, even to the point that they are coerced into being blinded to bad behaviour around them being practices by other bad women. Like bad people prey on the goodwill of others and the whole support women bogus crap is just another trick decievers use to hide the tracks of their awful behaviour. They don't realise that the ingroup they belong to, is highly selfish and immature because they grow accepting and complacent to the bad behaviour. It erodes the greater senses of decent good intentioned people and at that point the bad people have renoved the obstacles stopping them from the consequences of bad actions.

[Kenni]

Except I rarely met good women.

[Spawnface]

Im sure youve met some but its hard to tell them apart because they don't stand out from the bad ones. The ignorantly stand beside despicable people simply because theyre good nature has been taken advantage of and corrupted. Like, when you find yourself in a hostile or a threatening group, they will punish you for standing out and over time people will lose their ability to think and speak their own thoughts. Like, all the good girls I've met act indifferent to the bad girls because they simply have forgotten how to be good. Like these staunch antimale feminists, a lot of them immediately abandon feminism after giving birth to sons because they find a new in group and they realise a lot of that propaganda is only out there to dupe young and niave good girls into eating at the same table as the awful people.

[watercolor_lions]

We should try being friends then. I generally feel the same way... If I meet a girl who is cool and not two-faced, I hold on for dear life, because they are so fucking rare.

[watercolor_lions]

@Kenni

[GizZzmo]

"I'll make this short" scrolls for like 3 seconds... why must you lie to me...

[NerdInDenial]

Some people are just users

[ChocolateCheesecake]

Nice.

[The_Revolver]

Sorry for upsetting you

[Secretgardenblood]

:)) nice take

[Anonymous]

Sigh 🤦‍♂️ Ignore her or kill her. Then move on.