Search Results: problem with ex

We had been dating for 2 years and we live together. We haven’t discussed about what we were comfortable with and what not until now. We were talking about something and this came up.

This all happened before we met. He made out with a hot colleague. They never had sex and it was only because his ex was causing drama. He and his colleague decided to remain only friends. They don’t really work in the same department. They would hang out for lunch all the time. She now has a boyfriend and she knows he’s now with me. We are all working from home so they obviously don’t see. However, every now and then she would message him. In fact, he messaged her few days ago.

I am truly not comfortable with it. Had sex or not, they obviously find each other attractive. They made out and I am not comfortable with it. He doesn’t necessarily agree but he understands my perspective. It was never discussed but I am not comfortable with my partner keeping contact with exes/people you dated in the past. He respects me. He doesn’t care about keeping in contact with her, and he thinks the right to do is to cut her off. He won’t respond to her messages anymore. When they do go back to the office, he will reject her invitation to lunches or drinks after work.

I had no idea of her existence until today. I’m kind of not okay with how he never told me about her earlier. If let’s say they were meeting up alone, and I later found out he has been hanging out with a hot colleague who he made out with?… that would be a big problem. My boyfriend admitted he’s not good at communicating, and not someone who is an open book. You have to dig and ask. He just thought it should be fine. It also doesn’t make feel great.

I help my ex with money when he was my boyfriend.
he is poor.

he broke up with me
he says we have no future because I don’t have a career and he has no job & too old to start anything in his view

he didn’t care to hurt me even if I said I didn’t care if he was poor.

I understand this we have nothing but it doesn’t mean we can’t try. In my view

he doesn’t want to work a regular low paying job he sees it as losers do that.

I had to beg him to be my friend, after the break up. he didn’t want to even talk to me.
i begged only until I could feel better. he blocks me a lot of I say things that make him mad and I have to repeatedly bag him to unblock me because I’m lonely.

having someone to talk to helps and I don’t have money to be paying a therapist.

I have money because my parents have money.

fast forward to today, i am still depressed but feel less sad on days we talk

sometimes he makes me more sad but overall at least I have someone to talk with

back to the purpose of the question

his mom suddenly became sick.
since he is poor he can’t afford to go to specialists and can only receive the medical attention that is free

she’s been in the hospital more than a week now,

still no answers on what is wrong and the situation is getting worse

she has pain, losing her vision & today they diagnose her with COVID

No answers on the initial problem but now gave her COVID. She did not have it when she got there.

he asked me if I could help him with money again
so that he can take her to a hospital in a better city

QUESTION:
would you Help him with money if you were me?

he’s obviously not going to pay me back because he’s Poor

i was saving money to do surgery on myself for aesthetic reasons.

somehow feels selfish to say no and then use the money I have to make myself look better.
if his mom gets sicker or dies I would feel guilty even though it’s not my responsibility.

what would you do?
advice?