Search Results: talking to a married man

Me and my girlfriend of 4 years have recently moved in and need an argument settled between us. First off, I make more money and I always have. Not just a little more, I make almost 5x more than she does. Neither of us want to get married but we know we want to be together as if we are a married couple. I always assumed that once we moved in together she would want to stop working because I already pay for everything so she'd be a house girlfriend but we talked about it and that's not what she wants anymore, she made it clear that if we're both working the chores have to be split equally and she wants to retain her independence so that means keeping our finances separate. I don't have a problem with her working or anything but at the same time, chores aren't my thing so I hired a maid/cook to clean up after me and cook for me. Basically keep my office, man cave, living room clean, do my laundry and cook for me whenever I'm home since she's vegan and refuses to cook meat. It was ok at first but recently she's been in an off mood and when I asked her why, she said it wasn't fair that I'm rubbing my wealth in her face by hiring someone else to do everything for me when it takes her hours to do her chores and that if she has to do her own chores, I should be doing my own ones too. I got a little annoyed and responded saying that what I do with my money isn't her concern and now we aren't talking.

Putting aside all other factors other than the loss of a loved one, do you feel that one is more superior than the other from an emotional standpoint? Don't count financial loss, kids involvement, etc... I'm talking strictly about the loss people feel during a breakup or divorce. Do you see one as emotionally more damaging than the other?

My mother and I were having a disagreement on this topic and I decided to do a poll to get some outside advice.

My mother believes in a more spiritual/supernatural explanation for why she feels marriage holds a stronger emotional bond than a relationship without the title. She's Christian so she believes that God created man and woman to "become one" when they are married. She says that I can't fully understand it because I'm young and I haven't been married before. She says it's something someone just has to experience.

I agree with how divorce can most likely have a greater effect than a break up because most of the time dating doesn't hold the same responsibility that marriage does. The title of marriage and the fact that you're signing yourself away to a huge life commitment emotionally and financially automatically gives it an advantage. But I suggested to her that it is possible for a couple that's going through the breakup of a serious relationship to have the same emotional damage as a maritally divorced couple. Most long term dating relationships do explore/carry out the same duties that make up an officially married couple.

To me, marriage is just a title. I think how close a couple is during the relationship has wayyy more to do with how they'll feel once separated regardless of label. I explained that I think there's a logical explanation for why divorce might typically have more of an emotional effect than dating. There's gotta be a quantifiable reason as to why people often feel a greater connection when they have the marriage title.