Search Results: avoiding me after sex

Hi. Education in AUSTRALIA v USA.
In 2 years I will get citizenship of Australia and will be able to study for "free".
I want to study 3d art and animation - this degree sucks in Australia and I will be homeless on completion as no one needs artists in this agricultural country.
Another way - save money and go study to America. Their degrees in this field are somewhat valued in industry and I will have more chances to get at least some job.
Why I am choosing such a risky thing, why won't I just become a lawyer or programmer and avoid headache and life in sh*t? I am a retard who wasn't able to finish school but have great ambitions. I am maximalist, and attention-wh*re, I don't want to be just a monkey-programmer, I want to create something valuable and be loved for that.

But. Why I am choosing? I am basically orphan, I don't have parents who would buy me a car, give spare money on clubs and etc. I have rich relatives but their moral says that I have to be alone and suffer.
I am living my last year of being young and want something sweet in my life. I never had a girlfriend because of my ugly face, so I want to spend money on plastic surgery and maybe catch up all things I missed while I am still young and people won't point at me saying "pedophile".
I am 20 years old, all my ex classmates are married and finished universities, have cars, their parents gifted them apartments, my close friend has a child, and I never even was kissed or had sex for free. So its a difficult decision... I think its just not my strength and investing money on things that everyone already has and then be left without a career after is stupid. Its very painful to realise for me, there is no good decision. I just select between 2 bads and choose the least. Opinions, please.