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Putting aside all other factors other than the loss of a loved one, do you feel that one is more superior than the other from an emotional standpoint? Don't count financial loss, kids involvement, etc... I'm talking strictly about the loss people feel during a breakup or divorce. Do you see one as emotionally more damaging than the other?

My mother and I were having a disagreement on this topic and I decided to do a poll to get some outside advice.

My mother believes in a more spiritual/supernatural explanation for why she feels marriage holds a stronger emotional bond than a relationship without the title. She's Christian so she believes that God created man and woman to "become one" when they are married. She says that I can't fully understand it because I'm young and I haven't been married before. She says it's something someone just has to experience.

I agree with how divorce can most likely have a greater effect than a break up because most of the time dating doesn't hold the same responsibility that marriage does. The title of marriage and the fact that you're signing yourself away to a huge life commitment emotionally and financially automatically gives it an advantage. But I suggested to her that it is possible for a couple that's going through the breakup of a serious relationship to have the same emotional damage as a maritally divorced couple. Most long term dating relationships do explore/carry out the same duties that make up an officially married couple.

To me, marriage is just a title. I think how close a couple is during the relationship has wayyy more to do with how they'll feel once separated regardless of label. I explained that I think there's a logical explanation for why divorce might typically have more of an emotional effect than dating. There's gotta be a quantifiable reason as to why people often feel a greater connection when they have the marriage title.

"Back in the day" (when I was a young man, shortly after the Spanish-American War,) there was no internet, no cell phones, no texting, no FB, IG, SC, Twitter, G@G, TInder, POF, match. com, or anything else. Somehow we survived!

Anyway. . . sometimes, a friend's girlfriend would say, "I have a friend who would be PERFECT for you!" When I asked, "What does she look like?" they would respond, "She has a great personality," and that let me know to not expect a beauty queen. Sometimes, the friend's girlfriend would set up a date, sometimes it would be a double date with the friend and his girlfriend, and I would just show up and meet the lucky contestant. Sometimes, I would call the girl to arrange the date but I never met her, or saw her, in advance of the date. These were called "blind dates;" perhaps that term is still used.

Usually, there were no great surprises, because I entered such dates with virtually no expectations, though I did have one date with a girl - Candace -from Agnes Scott College who was charming and beautiful! None of the blind dates resulted in a long term relationship, but it did develop some dating skills that later became useful (I started college when I was 16 - not common in my day - and was trying to date girls who were at least 3 years older than me. Yes, that was harder than Chinese arithmetic!)

Have you ever had a blind date? How did it work out for you? Did he or she "have a wonderful personality?"

I occasionally see posts from girls complaining that their boyfriend has actually LOOKED at another girl. I am not defending the behavior illustrated above, but I think this is one of those Mars/Venus situations where the girlfriend usually attaches far too much importance to the occurrence.

Men are visual creatures. Even when we are in a committed relationship, a pretty girl attracts our attention. We can fantasize about what it would be like to have sex with someone other than our current girlfriend. That does NOT mean that we want to be unfaithful.

I live with my girlfriend and I hope that our relationship grows stronger for the rest of our lives. However, I still look at other women and appreciate their beauty, even younger women. . . BUT that does not mean that I want to pursue that other woman. I also have a girlfriend from my past - Oksana - who is very attractive and very nice; if our circumstances were different, I would be dating or living with her instead of my current girlfriend. I sometimes fantasize about having sex with Oksana. However, I have absolutely no contact with Oksana and I have no intentions of ever again contacting her. I must confess that I also fantasize about Kristen Bell but that's not gonna happen, either!

None of this behavior equates with infidelity. If your ability to maintain your relationship depends on your partner never looking at another pretty girl or handsome guy, your relationship is doomed. He may have turned to look at the cute waitress as she walked away, but he went home with you. . . right? Instead of complaining about something that seems to be innate and immutable, why not be grateful that your partner works to avoid temptation?

After all. . . haven't you - even just once - looked at someone else while you were in a relationship?