How I truly moved on?

My personal experience

So of many of my active followers are aware I originally started using G@g once I started working with a big group of young men and I'm the only girl at my work as I was curious what they really thought me of me but my use for this placement soon changed I became obsessed with my Co worker Jordan. I was pretty broken and had been through a tough time before I started my job and he was the first guy to really ever just be there for me and accepted me, listened to my problems, supported me, he was a amazing friend and he made me become so confident in myself and happy. By time Christmas came alone I fell madly in love with him and I wanted the world to know but I was still very insecure and shy. I thought it be stupid to just ask the guy I liked out now I see how un-logical that was of me. So instead I got drunk at the Christmas, another guy tried it on with me whilst he was there so he left and got upset thinking I was interested in this other guy. I stupidly told a load of people I had a crush on him because I was so confident we'd be together soon but I wanted him to ask me out.

Long story short he rejected me even though he had feels too, he kept coming back for more and more attention from me because he liked how I made him feel and was flattered but never had any intentions of dating me, he'd get jealous when ever he saw me hanging around with another guy yet didn't want to be with me. He even said some really cruel hurtful things about me to his friends. I was completely heart broken as I put so much trust in him and put him on a pedestal.

Why things failed between us

The film 500 Days of Summer really resonate with our relationship and this video really explained some home truths to me. Me and Jordan were both each others Manic pixie dream partners. Maybe I was more like Tom in the movie I just saw the cute, quirky, funny, charming, kind hearted side of him and wore my love goggles the whole time and put him up on a pedestal. He made me happy and I relied to much on that, I thought I couldn't be complete and happy with out his love and never thought of how he felt and was very selfish. I shouldn't have expected him to be the one to make me happy that's my own responsibility not his. I did care about his happiness too though maybe a little too much and tried to hard . We both only thought about being happy and civil and never wanted to communicate with the bigger issues we just ignored them.

So when he hurt me everyone just saw how terrible he treated me, told me I deserved better and that he was the idiot. When really I was the idiot and was just as bad as him. I hated him for very long time because I always expected him to always be this cute, quirky, funny, charming, kind hearted character I'd painted in my head . He couldn't be his own person, he couldn't get mad, cruel, angry, misogynistic with me or that would not make him perfect and when he eventually was that way with me, he was a evil horrible man child because he was just having a human reaction of how some young men act when they are no longer interested or upset in a relationship.

I took his rejection way too personally and wouldn't allow myself to move on and accept it. I knew he liked me back very much so I thought that's all we needed was attraction physically and emotionally but we never thought about actually being compatible in a real grown up relationship. We both wanted different things even though we liked each other very much and he was the smarter one and left it at that when that came to realisation and I was to immature and acted like a spoiled, bitter child because I wanted him so badly I thought hating him some how was going to bring are once happy, great magical relationship back when in reality it was always to good to be ture.

With Jordan himself it was pride he always has to be the hero and yes he lead me on big time. He didn't want to ever be with me but he wanted to be the good guy. He loved but I loved him, he never truly loved me. He liked but I constantly believed I needed him to save the day. He didn't want me to see him as the bad guy so kept being overly nice to compensate for never actually having any interest in dating me, plus he was doing this whilst trying to impress his friends and make them believe he was some kind of player so when I came around him and his friends he treat me like crap and then win me back by helping me out and being overly nice when they weren't around or they'd make fun of him. I don't think he realised how emotionally abusive that was of him.

What I've learnt

We both really need to grow up plain and simple. I was chasing that one in million fairy tale romance and should have not over thought things, not took everything at first glance and should have not let myself be so naive. Whilst he on the other hand really should have never over stepped with emotional boundaries with me, he should have left me be and not got involved and invested. We should have just kept it professional and saw each other just simply as work friends and got to know each other better and for a longer period before gaining feelings for each other. There's no point getting sad over it things weren't meant to be and we've both simply dodged a bullet to look at it positively. He was the best thing I never had and even though I spent nights crying myself to sleep for almost a year I'm finally grateful for this experience in my life and him.

he's made me think logically now before rushing into things without thinking of the pros and cons and with us the cons were extremely overlapping but I was too blind and naive to see that. It's made me more mature even though I still need a lot of work on that part, not to play victim, see things from others point of view and realise what a truly healthy, happy relationship should be.

I finally have time to focus on myself and I really recommend to other people trying to move on to do this to. Don't be living for someone who isn't living for you. You do you and learn who you really are and what you want not what you want others to be for you. I really wish Jordan all the best in life even though Im aware he's not truly happy right now I hope he finds it one day.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Happy to know you moved on!

    It’s always hard. I often get memories back but it makes me stronger.

    I just wished I would be able to erase some thoughts forever but without those experiences I would’ve be who I am now

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Good take

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Wow your story sounds like mine in many ways and indications. I’ll add a reply to myself for a more reasonable reply.

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  • thanks for sharing...
    part of life, learning and better yourself. :) good luck

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  • Good take

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  • Great

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