How can I properly move on?

[iluvuangel]

I know he doesn’t like me. I’ve always known that and been aware. I’m not delusional enough to think he would ever think of me.
In fact, he’s made that very clear in the past and has rejected me actually this year in April and once back in may 2022. The first time wasn’t direct, more of a block. He has always been very respectful about it and I can 100% understand. I’ve been so obsessed with him and I guess I’ve made him uncomfortable, but yet he’s so patient with me and is willing to be my friend. We’re really close as friends and we have for a very long time, something I never even thought would happen due to our past.
After he rejected me I didn’t take it too hard and I moved on very quickly, same with how the awkwardness went away in 1 week.

I decided to not make it a priority to get him to like me. He was still in the back of my mind but I had no plans on further doing anything between him and I. I just waited for him in case. Months have passed since and I was sure I had moved on. I liked other boys and it wasn’t just him anymore. We are friends and that’s all I’ll settled for.
I thought I had moved on until I heard about him and another girl. How they had made out at a party and how serious they’re getting. That made me realise I was never over him. It’s not the fact that he’s with her, it’s the fact that I was never good enough for him no matter how hard I tried. I became a better person for him, all the changes I made were for him and still I never once crossed his mind. It all makes me feel so unlovable.

I’m trying to forget because he didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s not his fault and it never was. He probably thinks I don’t like him anymore but I never once stopped liking him for 2 years. We had no romantic connection whatsoever, so why am I so caught up in the idea of him and I?

I know he doesn’t like me, but he’s still everything I want.

[caring__1]

Let's say you create your ideal dessert in your mind. Anytime you think of desserts, the picture of that dessert will pop into your head. Our brain tends to snap to the last most relevant example of whatever we are thinking of. Therefore, even though the relationship was only in your head, every time you think of relationships, you'll picture him. If you come up with a new dessert you believe surpasses your last invention, whenever you think of desserts, you'll think of your new invention.

Until you find a replacement who is as good as or better than your image of your crush, you'll continue to dwell on your crush. To do so, we need to see people for who they are, not in comparison to our ideal. You may be overlooking some amazing qualities, because you are only looking for the specific qualities you created in your ideal. Take time to discover what is out there rather than seek a partner. Observe others and see what they have to offer, and how those qualities impact their relationships, rather than start any opportunity with a pre-planned roadmap. Let's say you've always got around on roller skates and weren't aware of any other modes of transportation. If someone were to open your eyes and allow you to discover automobiles, do you think you'd insist on sticking with roller skates for the rest of your life? You're young and inexperienced. Gain as much knowledge as you can before you decide to choose anything.

[Iron_Man]

What if you tried one more time and if he rejects you again then you’ll have to move on

[iluvuangel]

Right, but I’ll already know the outcome and I don’t want to risk our friendship either.

[Iron_Man]

It’s your call

[lifeisoverrated]

This happened to me last year. A very similar situation actually. I was head over heels; he only saw me as a good friend and told me so multiple times. Whenever he told me about anything he did with another girl it made me feel so jealous and angry. "Why couldn't it be me?" So I understand your pain on this one.

What I did was I made myself busy. I went to the gym, I worked harder at my studies, I made more plans to see friends, I took cooking classes, I learned sign language. Soon I found myself forgetting about him during the day and it made me feel good to know that he wasn't on my mind 24/7.

You also need to remember that you ARE good enough. Keep telling yourself that. The fact that you made changes in your life to consciously become a better person proves that. You two just weren't right for each other; it wasn't meant to be. You will find your person when the time comes.

The only other thing is that it might be hard to stay friends with him. In my situation I started distancing myself from him slowly and now we only talk once in a while. Not seeing him or hearing of him all the time will definitely make it easier on you. It's just hard to maintain a platonic relationship with someone when it is one-sided.

I hope it goes well for you. <3

[Nikki1989]

Meet someone else, and you will move on in no time at all.

[iluvuangel]

Yeah I think that it’ll help a lot but I have met other people but it never really works out and then I’m back fixated on him. Or I didn’t even realise that until I heard he had eyes for someone else.

[boobliker]

find another one like him they are out there you just need to look and make your self be seen by them.

[swettannie]

With time

[iluvuangel]

I understand but I’ve waited 2 years

[swettannie]

Sometimes its not enough