I have watched this movie several times in the past, but this time I had the opportunity to watch it a couple of months before my girlfriend and I break up. It's a weird feeling to watch this movie and spot many similarities to your own relationship, fully knowing that the immanent end is coming. It really does teach you a lot and probably gives one of the best lessons of all. I'm a Tom and I fell deeply in love with a Summer, and here is the lesson I learned.
I should never have expected that love would be enough to unite us for the rest of our lives. We are two different people on two completely different paths in life. Yet, we are very compatible. We love each other's personality and get along wonderfully; we simply vibrate on the same frequency and as most people would put it, we just "click". However, the things that matter most and glue couples together for years and years are not there.
The things that I'm talking about are things that are deciding factors for breakups, things that should not be ignored so as to never make the same mistake and find your right match. Examples would be: Do you both want kids? How many? What are you looking for? A short-term/long-term fling or are you looking to settle down? When are you looking to settle down? Will you be moving? Would you be willing to move? Where do you want to live? Do we have similar interests? Most importantly do you each live in the same world? It's questions like these that you must have the same answers to.
There's a theory I read about 500 Days of Summer and it describes the most important question of all, here is a link to it: https://filmschoolrejects.com/we-dont-belong-together-the-500-days-of-summer-color-palette-theory-a50b2d3728a6#.x18k3jnb1 To put it simply, Tom is the color brown and Summer is the color blue. Although they get along wonderfully, they are not right for each other. He is a brown and she is blue. Tom ignores this and tries to live in her blue world, but he is brown and it's quite obvious that he is out of place.
The colors represent each person as a whole and the path in life they are taking. Let's take my relationship for example. We share the same energy, but we are different colors as well. Our paths are not the same and neither are our interests. You see while love IS amazing, special, and powerful, it is NOT rare. You can fall in love with just about anyone if you put the effort, time, and heart in. I hope that doesn't come off as being a cynic about love, in fact I'm hoping that comes of as the complete opposite. There is not just one person that completes you, there are plenty of people that can complete you and some are brown and live in a brown world where you can both live comfortably in and not try to fit in in each other's world.
By falling in love with someone who is of the wrong color you finally figure out your own color so you can chose the right color when the opportunity presents itself again, you just need to keep your eyes open and look for the right type of people. This is why the ending of the movie is so powerful: he meets yet another average, normal, and non-extraordinary girl whom he seems to click with, and it was inevitable for him to run into a person like this. The only difference is that she's also brown which makes her a better candidate at being one of the "ones".
Let's use my relationship as an example again. I want someone who is super warm and supportive, someone who shares the same interests as me, someone who wants to live in the same place, someone to settle down with in the next couple years. My girlfriend on the other hand wants someone who is extremely independent and not very lovey-dovey, someone who has the time to do weekend trips and travel the world with, someone who has very similar interests, someone who wants to live in the same location. See, there's nothing wrong with either of us, in fact we're doing great because we now know what we're looking for. We just made the wonderful mistake of falling in love with each other even though we didn't have the most important qualities that we desire in our life partner. It's a lesson that I feel most people have to learn before they find the right person for themselves.
Falling in love is actually not that hard. If you love yourself and love your life and someone comes along during that wonderful time period where you're confident and crushing life and fills up your days making you love your life even more, you will both eventually fall in love with each other. That's the important message that this movie is portraying. Make sure that before you fall in love (that is when you are ready to fall in love/have the traits/confidence and maturity for it and are actively looking for it), you do it with the right person.
As I am obviously not married, I am very curious to find out what the married people of gag think about this. Thanks for reading my article and I hope this helps people going through a similar situation.
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nah she was just a bitch.
You missed the entire point of the movie then hahaha. I'm curious, are you married or in a committed relationship? Also, I get how she can be seen as a bitch, I thought the same when I first watched the movie. She's really not a bitch though when you dig deeper, she's just too different to Tom which makes them incompatible. She never felt that sense of security with him, even though she really did want to, otherwise she wouldn't have stayed with him for that long or gotten so sad after watching that movie which triggered her into breaking the news to him. Your thoughts?
what do you mean sense of security. nah she's just a bitch
Sense of security that they were actually right for each other.
yeh he was a sweet guy and she was a bitch.
I just dont get why she didn't want to be with him. they were best friends. I just dont like her because I've been through something similar.
I'm going through the same thing currently, but I don't think my girlfriend is a bitch for it. We get along amazingly well and I know I'm a wonderful guy who makes her happy as hell and treats her great, hell even her parents want us to get married. The only problem is that she'd have to move to a country where she doesn't want to live in as I'm forced to move due to my career. It's too big of a sacrifice and she's not willing to make it. If it was me I would move for her, but we're just two different people with different views when it comes to situations like that.
the thing with summer is she simply never loved him. i think she's a bitch only because she was the more experienced party but still entered into a sexual relationship with this inexperienced sweet guy. she should have known better then to play with somebodies emotions like that. i myself i date young women but i date them with good intentions looking for a wife. i really dont like men my age who date young women for simply sex. its like not fair in a way. i feel that intentions and experience matters when it comes to things like this. i seriously date young women and i have casual sex with older women.
I see your point and it does make sense. Thanks for your inout, I appreciate it :)
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