Search Results: when to call after first date

When I was in high school my American History teach always said "hate is taught" when we were learning about slavery, Jim Crow South and Emmit Till.

I actually have to agree with her because of what I've experienced. So here's my story:

My first step dad was a drunk with a history of drugs and was sexist and racist, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, no I'm not talking about the dumb SJW terms of sexism and racism, this guy was a REAL sexist and racist.
He would say things like "these (n words) should have went back to Africa when they had the chance, but they decided to stay and fuck up our shit" and "most women use men for their money and fuck (n words) behind their backs" and "all women are sluts and whores" and "most women will sleep with at least 100 (n words) before settling down with a white man who's actually worth a damn, and even then she'll have gangbangs with (n words) behind his back.
When my mom finally decided to divorce his ass, he refused to sign the documents, so my mom decided to start dating other men after a couple months of refusal. She started to date black men ironically enough. When she did he became very mentally and emotionally abusive and would call my mom things like " a dumb two-bit sperm burping
(n word) loving whore), and he would demand sex because they were still legally married since he didn't sign the documents and said it was her "duty" to have sex with him. After the divorce he took everything and left my mother and her 13 year old son (me) with nothing and we were homeless living at my sister's for a bit. He even took things my mother inherited from her own parents, including my grandmother's bed and my grandfather's tools.
Although it's been 7 years since I've talked to him and I'm a grown man now, having a shitbag like him being my "role model" during the most influential time in a child's life (age 5 - 13) I still tend to get uncomfortable around women and black people and I struggle with my sexuality.

Met this girl (24) online who moved to my city 2 years ago for work and things moved fast. One 3 hour dinner at a restaurant & I got the impression that she was a complete "goody two shoes." We had so many values in common... so I thought :/
2nd date she invited me over and we slept together, which caught me off guard. She initiated everything, but I went with it b/c it felt special. I didn't finish and she said "I'm sorry I'm not very good at this" which got me thinking she had not been with many people.
2 wks later we were in a relationship & the only thing I knew about her past was her one and only 9 month relationship & some dating that didn't work out. A week later at 11:30pm she gets a missed call & text from a guy saying "Hey, I miss you." She explained it was a guy she dated earlier in the year. No big deal she didn't even reply.

A week ago and a text form her ex for a valid reason created another awkward situation, which led to me asking dangerous questions. How old she was when she lost her virginity & how many guys she had slept with? I didn't think I would get unsavory answers, but I did.

She lost her V at 20/21 (not a big deal), told me I was the 8th guy she had slept with & the last guy was 4/5 months before me. With her only being 24 & a 9 month relationship in there I did the math. From the time she broke up with her ex there was an 18 month period where she slept with 6 guys. Very unsavory info, but it gets worse... 2 of them were one night stands where she invited the guys over to her apmt the very first time, the other 4 she slept with after only 2-4 dates and one turned into a friends with benefits situation for 2 weeks :/

We have already BOTH fallen for each other hard and I'm devastated. She feels AWFUL, said she was lonely & admits the mistakes & how stupid she was. I feel like she was only after sex, had no respect for herself, didn't learn from the mistakes & am having a hard time seeing her as the same person I thought she was.