What decision would you make after learning these details about your girlfriends sexual history?

[Coolflow9]

Met this girl (24) online who moved to my city 2 years ago for work and things moved fast. One 3 hour dinner at a restaurant & I got the impression that she was a complete "goody two shoes." We had so many values in common... so I thought :/
2nd date she invited me over and we slept together, which caught me off guard. She initiated everything, but I went with it b/c it felt special. I didn't finish and she said "I'm sorry I'm not very good at this" which got me thinking she had not been with many people.
2 wks later we were in a relationship & the only thing I knew about her past was her one and only 9 month relationship & some dating that didn't work out. A week later at 11:30pm she gets a missed call & text from a guy saying "Hey, I miss you." She explained it was a guy she dated earlier in the year. No big deal she didn't even reply.

A week ago and a text form her ex for a valid reason created another awkward situation, which led to me asking dangerous questions. How old she was when she lost her virginity & how many guys she had slept with? I didn't think I would get unsavory answers, but I did.

She lost her V at 20/21 (not a big deal), told me I was the 8th guy she had slept with & the last guy was 4/5 months before me. With her only being 24 & a 9 month relationship in there I did the math. From the time she broke up with her ex there was an 18 month period where she slept with 6 guys. Very unsavory info, but it gets worse... 2 of them were one night stands where she invited the guys over to her apmt the very first time, the other 4 she slept with after only 2-4 dates and one turned into a friends with benefits situation for 2 weeks :/

We have already BOTH fallen for each other hard and I'm devastated. She feels AWFUL, said she was lonely & admits the mistakes & how stupid she was. I feel like she was only after sex, had no respect for herself, didn't learn from the mistakes & am having a hard time seeing her as the same person I thought she was.

It's her past, stay with her, she's not the same person anymore.

Leave her. Her repetitive mistakes are inexcusable & it's who she is.

Updates

+1 y

More info since I ran out of space... She consulted her older sister (28) for advise on the friends with benefits situation and her sister just said “if you’re comfortable with it then go ahead.” A horrible influence in my opinion, but again she made the decision to do it.
She is the 5th girl I have slept with. I have had a one night stand before when I was 24, so I have made mistakes myself just like everyone else can which have to be forgiven, but feel that I have learned from them whereas she didn’t.

[quietmarc]

After 13 years of marriage we are now in an open marriage. Sex is sex. It's easy to find a penis for women. It's a little harder but still easy to find a vagina to get into. What's hard is to find a person that you connect to and find ways to accomplish hard things together and see through things. I had cancer she has lupus. We've slept on so many hospital chairs over the years. If you find someone that will do that let it go. Believe me. The day she is laying in a hospital bed gasping for life, those penises she had in her won't come to your mind. Only your time with her. Decide. But listen closely! When you decide to say I chose time with you over the guys you banged, then bury it. Walk away from it forever. Write them on a paper and burn it. Do whatever it takes. Never ever ever bring it up again. Not even to your friends. As far as you're concerned, you were there first. It will ruin your relationship. So when you choose, choose. Clear decision. Final decision. PERIOD!!!
TRUST ME, go with time. She already did. Or she'd be back out there looking for a new penis to put in her. I was crass as possible about it for a reason. You have to hear it dark. She had 6 dicks in her in 18 months. Because! If it's well she had 6 small relations in 18 months, when you hear it hard like that it'll having you again. You must! Hear the hardest way possible so when you choose and I already know you will time with her over her past, you will no longer have anything to fear. Good luck brother. The girl informed me her one year boyfriend she was only with because of how massive his dick was. So it could be worse! My buddy has an ex that had a 4 guy on her gang bang before they met. Another girl took a train at a party. Unknown number of guys ran it. So yeah. Smile broheem and go choose time with her

[quietmarc]

I guess you can't edit posts? To be clear autocorrect! Not THE girl told me one guy was beggar if his Wang, **this one** girl told me.

[markscott]

How many, and how often, have you had women? And is this number of guys such that you can't get past it? If you really care for her, it seems it would be a good idea to try to make it work, and see if you can get past the number. Keep in mind, she was honest with you, and could have lied and made the number much smaller. Is she the same person you thought she was? Perhaps 95% of her is the same person you thought she was, and actually, that's a higher percentage of anybody being who they are thought to be. But give it a try. She has said she made mistakes, and apparently you really love each other. In the end, if you can't get past it, at least you will know you didn't just quickly and too easily, throw away a very good relationship.

[LEETSBEREAL]

Don't judge her past so harshly as she may of not made these decisions in the past if she knew she would meet you in the future. She went through what she went through and she did what she did for whatever reason but you have to appreciate she was honest with you. She didn't lie and make stuff up she respected you enough to tell you what it is and it sounds like she is going to be made to pay for her past something she has no control over. But your future there is control there. You can't judge someone after a 3 hr dinner as a goody two shoes further more just because she has been with more guys then you expect it doesn't make her a bad person. She wasn't lying to anyone miss leading anyone. Your letting your judgement cloud your view and I worry your not seeing the bigger picture. You were not in her life at that point. She knew nothing of your existence. What ever she has been through has made her the woman she is today the one you have fallen for, why would you want to change that? You know when you take someone on you can't say I'll take your good but not your bad it doesn't work like that. You take them on. you take it all history included good or bad. There is no picking and choosing. Either you want her or you don't. Who she is today is what is important. Because our past makes up who we are today.

[Coolflow9]

Wow, best answer and very enlightening. You’re not bashing anyone for how they feel just giving constructive advise and it is very logical. She knows about my mistakes and while there may not be quite as many she doesn’t say anything about them.

Bringing up her honesty is an excellent point. She could have lied to avoid all of this, but she didn’t. She risked everything in order to be honest and I should respect her for that. Thank You.

[joyjoy123]

Why is it so unsavory for women to have sex? Did she prostitute herself? Did she have sex with married men? Did she have sex for blackmail? Men can have more sex within an 18 month period but not women? Why? Is it because they can't get pregnant that makes woman having sex disrespectful to their bodies?

Break up. Your view of her are just gonna eat you guys up. I mean your wrong impressions and assumptions brought you to this right? If it's so deplorable then ask directly before "falling" for someone.

[Coolflow9]

Just posted an update to the question with more info. Everyone has different opinions on sex depending on whether you value it as just a pleasurable act or something that you only give to someone special. I believe the latter.
I think women can have all the sex they want with a guy as long as they wait to make sure it is going to be a meaningful relationship with an end goal. If these were her cases then I would have no issue.

[Coolflow9]

Also, I think a guy is an animal if he goes through that many girls in the same timeframe. I’m not setting double standards here at all.

[joyjoy123]

You yourself didn't give to just someone special she's your 5th right.. so bit of a hypocrite don't you think? And yes people have different opinions that's why I said break up.

"If these were her cases then I would have no issue." you already have your answer. You have an issue with it. It's not gonna go away because it's already a done act.

[Coolflow9]

You misunderstand what I mean by special. No I don’t believe in absolutely waiting for marriage. Life isn’t that perfect. I learned from my one mistake, which was the one night stand, but the other 3 girls I waited at least 3-4 weeks or 8-10 dates before sleeping with them. One being a 3 year relationship and while they didn’t work out those 3 had the potential to be that special person. If someone is consistently sleeping with people on the first date or shortly after I question they are more interested in the sex first rather than making sure it’s going to turn into a relationship and that where I’m torn here.

[Coolflow9]

I still value your response though, so thank you.

[TonyBologna25]

No, he’s allowed to make judgement just as everyone makes judgement when it comes to dating. He’s planning on emotionally investing into this girl, so he can judge her by her financial spending habits, family life, and sexual history. If they share a difference of values in regards to sex, then he can most definitely judge her, just as she can judge him. He’s not doing anything wrong and it’s really annoying how women demonize men for casting judgement on to women in whom they choose to date.

[MackToday]

We're living in a Marxist dystopia. All the old values have been lied about to the point that people no longer think they're valid. Obviously they are and the pain you're both feeling illustrates that very well. Sad that we live in a world where our women have been turned into trash and we have to pick through scraps like this.

[Coolflow9]

Are you saying that the old values are getting lost, and women along with men are making bad choices until they find someone they truly care about and that’s when the regret from their past sets in?

[MackToday]

They've been mislead since childhood. The old values have been ridiculed and mocked and replaced by Soviet style values or class struggle and "equity". That's what so called social justice is, a neo Marxist take on class struggle. Marxism doesn't take nature into account it insist a utopia can be built just by thinking a certain way and that human nature is not a thing. You can see this thinking at work in things like the feminist movement where women are taught to hate men. An unnatural and perverse idea.

[Johnny1485]

Sex is just sex.. you've slept with people, she's slept with people.. if you like her don't worry about it and live for the moment and the future.. finding someone you are happy with is all that matters.

[bulletbob555]

Everyone has a past. All that matters is how they live their present. Need to relax and chill out. If you continue looking at it this way you may end up destroying this relationship

[Coolflow9]

Thank you for your input. As and older soul I want to believe your advise. I just want this feeling to go away get back to how we both felt had before this conversation happened. Any advise on how to help forget about this?

[bulletbob555]

No mathematical equation. Jus date hang out have fun

[mikeD760]

Dude get over it women want sex just as much as guys if you can't handle answers to questions then dont ask the questions.

[Dean269]

I knw someone who is exactly of same match. And my vote is to leave her now

[Coolflow9]

Meaning someone who has the same thoughts and ideas as me?

[Dean269]

No someone who is exactly same match as ur present girlfriend

[Coolflow9]

So you think she truly has no remorse for her past and that if I leave her she will continue with the same dating behavior?

[Dean269]

Yes true