Polls: Break Up & Divorce

Wife and I divorced about 6 years ago due to her infidelity (caught her in bed with another woman, she tried to justify it with 'it's not cheating if they're of the same sex' ).

We have 50/50 custody of our son, who is 16, and I pay a small amount of child support only due to shared custody, and alimony is not a thing here. I also pay for bigger expenses for him myself.

Since the divorce, I've done well for myself, getting a substantial promotion to the point where I'm making a lot more than the pair of us combined when we were married, and I've got a few investment properties.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a certain stomach issue that's going to require surgery and a good 6 months off work. My doctor said the surgery has a pretty high success rate, but just in case, make sure my affairs are in order.

I talked to my lawyer and so now everything I own is in trust, with myself as a sole beneficiary, and if I pass, my lawyer will administer it. If I die, the trust will continue to pay child support to my ex up until he turns 18, then, everything will go to him - properties, assets and money. If any large expenses related to my son crop up, my ex-wife can take a receipt to the lawyer and he will verify it is a legit expense for my son's benefit and reimburse her half. NOTHING will be given to her if I pass.

I sat her and my son down to explain this, and instead of being concerned about my health - I would have thought 10 years of marriage would have made her care a little, but boy was I wrong. She hit the roof when finding out how things were structured, she said I should essentially leave everything to her and she will look after our son, but well, she's terrible with money and is trying to do anything she can to not have to work for a living.

Our mutual friends and relatives are split, some agree I did the right thing, some believe I should leave her _something_ as she is the mother of my child.

Am I in the wrong or not?

Ladies if you've been with a wonderful man even married to him for about 6 years, treats you right with a great personality, he works on a job that's $14 an hour

Now let's say a rich millionaire man paid you his about of funds for you to leave him and start a new life with the that rich man, would you do it?

I have a feeling a woman would because majority of women are gold diggers who wrongfully measure a man base off his income

Like, How have you been? What have you been up to since we broke up

I’m staying anonymous because I’m ashamed I just got out of a 3 month relationship with a woman who claims to be my girlfriend. I met her here, she messaged me and wanted a boyfriend so I stupidly agreed. She told me she has an Instagram account, then during our 3 month relationship she would start with lovebombing, gaslighting, making me feel guilty for saying no. I couldn’t take that and broke up with her. Then I realised she blocked me so I created another Instagram account and saw her with a new boyfriend. I did warn him but he immediately blocked me and she tried to hack into my gmail account!

In Ireland you have to be living apart for 3 years to divorce. A spouse can stop you selling your house. Also there used to be laws stopping people from marrying again. This is ridiculous. Makes it hard for people.

Some people went abroad to divorce.

Mine has. Looking back she was mixed up. But literally the most beautiful girl from my religious minority group.
There’s a lot of beautiful women in the world, her features in my community are extremely unique and I didn’t know a girl like her could really exist. Genuinely, unbelievable.

Personality wise she was nice but not the most stable person. She was slightly older and has obviously been with a few guys.

She was my first girlfriend. I feel myself accepting it, but knowing that I will never find a girl as wow and just striking. Knowing that I will never find better than her. I just want a very nice and very stunning girl.

But when you combine how we were so compatible on paper it is a once in a lifetime experience. The stars and planets aligned here.

When I share with my friend none of them think I am crazy for feeling the way I do. I am focused on improving and building my life. But with women, I feel like I will always feel upset and disappointed.

Let’s say the girl breaksup not because of anything so bad. But then the guy levels up in silence. He becomes successful and really made it, also looks good and in shape

Is? ? ?

I've had mixed reactions to breakups. One in which I recognized was basically over anyways, I felt nothing. I felt angry and sad when infidelity occurred, but my last one, I feel relieved.

It was hardly a relationship, just 18 days of lots of talking and all. But her need for attention became insatiable, I spent hours a day talking and it was never enough. She blew my phone the hell up when I went to make soup and tend to my dogs for 10 minutes.

I go to the bathroom, I come back to several missed calls and accusations that I cheated. No matter how much time i spent talking to her, the next day, she always wanted even more time commitment and on video calls, she got mad when I tried to multi task.

Her constant needs for reassurance, short fuse and a relationship in which she'd already brought up marriage several times, her need for attention and validation being exhausting, and it felt like being suffocated.

I told her over and over I needed space, she'd send 10 messages within a minute of me saying it. All this to say I am happy she is out of my life, she was very toxic and controlling, and I won't be with someone who doesn't even respect me enough to stop pestering me every 2 seconds.

She got me out of my comfort zone with cooking, that's the best thing I got from it. I ended it with her, brushing off her angry closing remarks. I'll find someone else, it's okay.

I hope the next woman I form a connection with will be more mature and reasonable. How do you usually feel after breakups and why?

IMAGINE THIS SCENARIO: You and a boy have always been more than friends.. a quiet understanding, late-night talks, little gestures that blur the line. He finally says it outright and proposes something real. You care about him, but you’re not sure, so you ask for time.

That same week he goes out, drinks too much, and dials you. Your phone is already engaged with a call from another guy.. your best friend, nothing romantic, but it’s a long vent-session you don’t want to cut off. (Your guy) calls again. And again (10+ times). You see his name flash, your stomach knots, and you let it ring out because you’re not ready to face his voice right then.

He switches to text: IG, WhatsApp, short messages that get more urgent. You read them, guilt prickling, but you don’t answer. Confused and irritated, you block him everywhere like shutting a door to buy a minute of quiet.

Later the day you felt the guilt is louder than the fear. You unblock just enough to call. It rings, once, twice, and then voicemail. You wait for his call back... nothing comes.

The next day you hover over the unblock button. Part of you wants to explain: “I was on another call, I panicked.” Part of you freezes.. what if he leaves me on read? What if he says he’s done, that he’s moved on? That dread sits heavy, stealing sleep. You replay his silence, wonder if he’s already talking to someone else, feel the shame of your own avoidance.

"5 months have passed" (You were still waiting to fix) & beneath it all, another question: maybe you’re not just scared, maybe you really do need time and space to understand what you want before you try to fix what you broke.