Am I wrong for organising my affairs so my ex-wife gets nothing and my son gets it all?

[Anonymous]

Wife and I divorced about 6 years ago due to her infidelity (caught her in bed with another woman, she tried to justify it with 'it's not cheating if they're of the same sex' ).

We have 50/50 custody of our son, who is 16, and I pay a small amount of child support only due to shared custody, and alimony is not a thing here. I also pay for bigger expenses for him myself.

Since the divorce, I've done well for myself, getting a substantial promotion to the point where I'm making a lot more than the pair of us combined when we were married, and I've got a few investment properties.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a certain stomach issue that's going to require surgery and a good 6 months off work. My doctor said the surgery has a pretty high success rate, but just in case, make sure my affairs are in order.

I talked to my lawyer and so now everything I own is in trust, with myself as a sole beneficiary, and if I pass, my lawyer will administer it. If I die, the trust will continue to pay child support to my ex up until he turns 18, then, everything will go to him - properties, assets and money. If any large expenses related to my son crop up, my ex-wife can take a receipt to the lawyer and he will verify it is a legit expense for my son's benefit and reimburse her half. NOTHING will be given to her if I pass.

I sat her and my son down to explain this, and instead of being concerned about my health - I would have thought 10 years of marriage would have made her care a little, but boy was I wrong. She hit the roof when finding out how things were structured, she said I should essentially leave everything to her and she will look after our son, but well, she's terrible with money and is trying to do anything she can to not have to work for a living.

Our mutual friends and relatives are split, some agree I did the right thing, some believe I should leave her _something_ as she is the mother of my child.

Am I in the wrong or not?

You are doing the right thing, looking after your son. She doesn't deserve anything.

You are being inconsiderate, You should trust her to look after your son and make it easy on her.

Other

[Anonymous]

I think that’s the right thing to do. She’s your ex, she’s no longer your responsibility. I could see if you were the one who cheated on her, that would be different. But just because she’s the mother of your child doesn’t entitle her to inherit your post-divorce wealth. Having a child is t a get out of jail free card that I’m going to live off my child the rest of my life. Sadly too ma incomes do that, especially here in America. He’s at that age now where he doesn’t need as much care from her as he did when he was an infant. She needs to work, pull her own weight. It’s called being an adult. Your responsibility is making sure your 16-year-old son is financially protected, even from his mom if need be. Now if he decides he wants to help her out later down the road then that’s his choice. The fact that she was more concerned about the money than your health should tell you a lot about where her mind is. Not only that if she’s terrible w money how long do you think it’ll actually last. Too many women have said well this mi ey is mine because of all the sacrifices I made. So I should be able to get me clothes w it, do my hair, my nails, etc. Honestly it shouldn’t even matter what everyone else thinks. This is you. Your son. If worse comes to worse, you’re not going to be spring to protect him finically. To me this would be your best bet. She’s already raised several red flags that says you’re right in what you’re thinking. I guarantee you if this was the other way around, the women who said yes you should give it to her would disagree if you cheated on her w your condition. You know what’s best. At least w a trust you know it’s protected by the law. W his mom it’s not. I’m sure you’ll be ok, but I get it. I’d go the way you’re going.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

I'm surprised she hasn't made you pay for a life insurance policy yet.

[Asker]

That's not a thing here.

[Talea]

You are in the right. If alimony doesn't exist where you are, I assume you're in somewhere like Australia or Europe.

She cheated, she gets NOTHING. You already pay more than your share on top of child support. You're looking after your son, that's what's important.\

Plus, most of this is speculation; you said the surgery has a high success rate, so most likely, this isn't going to happen anyway.

Sounds like she thought you might die and her life would be easy.

[Nikki1989]

The cheating has nothing to do with anything here. She is the mother of your child. Have some respect.

[Talea]

Disagree.
She cheated and broke up a marriage, she shouldn't get anything. He is making sure his son is taken care of, what else does he need to do?

[Asker]

It has everything to do with things here. She cheated, I'm not leaving what I've gained to her. My son gets it all, he will be set up for life if things go awry.

[Chris009800]

She's your ex and if you caught her cheating with a woman, then she's probably done it with guys too. What you see is just the tip of the iceberg. It's nice if you left stuff for your son. I don't know why she feels entitled to everything.

[Anonymous]

She’s the woman who have birth to your son. She knows what’s good foR him more than u

[Talea]

They have 50/50 custody, why would she know what's better for him?
Plus, he's set things up so his son is taken care of, that's all he's obligated to do.

[Opinion Owner]

@Talea i feel bad the woman married him. She should take complete custody of the child

[Talea]

Why? He has literally set it up so his son is looked after in case something happens to him.