Husband, Affair, why?

[Anonymous]

My husband has apparently been cheating since Feb and I found out about 3 weeks ago... he says he was unhappy and kind of blamed me being depressed but I was depressed because he would never spend time with me and we were in a bad way financially... fast forward he tried to break it off with the girl over the phone she went crazy flipping out not accepting it so I thought things were over because that's what he told me but a couple days later I find out that he intentionally left his phone at a friend's house so I would think he was there because we use Life360. He then drove to the w****** house picked her up and took her to a spot that is very private in the woods. He said he took her there because he didn't want her flipping out in public and somebody calling the cops or something like that. But I think he handled this completely wrong they should not have been in a private place I don't see why they had to meet in person just wanted somebody's opinion on why he would do this? does this make sense?

Updates

11 mo

I want to know why a private place.. does that seem logical or bs?

Updates

11 mo

He says that I'm smothering him now that I found out and that will drive him away. but what am I supposed to do? Obviously what I was doing (not worried he'd cheat) didn't work before

[lightbulb27]

you all have issues before this happened. doesn't make what he did right.

it's up to you both if you want to do the repair work to save it or if you can. It is possible, I've seen others come out the other side of it. Why... there are root reasons and those need discovered. time to study this subject.

sometimes a major stressor is required to make the discoveries and changes needed to move forward.

[Asker]

But when I asked why he met her in a private place instead of meeting her in public where I could be parked nearby he said he didn't want her to flip in public I think that's bs

[lightbulb27]

Probably… and a bad plan

[Asker]

Yep not good judgement on his part

[ProbablyClueless]

People who cheat are doing it to fill an emptiness within themselves. It's not a "you" problem. It's within your husband.

[Asker]

Thank you bc all I've been doing unfortunately is comparing myself to the w**** and I hate that

[Pinay_ako]

Leave him. He got caught but still had the audacity to blame you for cheating? What a load of BS.

[avery58]

Why do you want him after he already touched another woman anyway?

[avery58]

He keeps doing things behind your back. There's a saying "don't do good things that appear to be bad". Why would he go "confront" alone her without telling you? Can you really trust him?

[Asker]

That's what I'm asking

[avery58]

Well, we can't know why he did that or keeps secrets from you. He told you his reasoning, and it's up to you to forgive and trust him again or not. From m

[avery58]

From my point of view, how is it possible trust someone who keeps going behind your back. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't let him keep making a fool out of me. And I would have never forgiven his infidelity in the first place. That's just from my point of view.

[Asker]

I'm trying but he has to do his part too

[avery58]

He gave you his reason but I think it's invalid. Because why did he feel the need to lie to you about his location or hide what he's doing, he keeps acting very sus

[Asker]

Exactly.. he said because I'd flip out... well yeah

[jahaims]

He is a trash human who is running away to cope with his short comings

[midnightmoon05]

What do you want to do next?

[Asker]

I want to work it and I can tell he feels like shit and is trying but he acts like I need to just forget and move on but it's not that easy

[midnightmoon05]

Hahahaa…you are too naive. He is full of crap!!
Kick him out.
You sound weak and he sees it. He plays you like a yoyo

[Asker]

Wow that's a bitchy comment

[midnightmoon05]

Proud to be one.
But hey you don’t want to admit that you are weak? When he is playing you?

The rest of the opinions told you it’s his fault… but what will YOU do?

[Asker]

Yes cuz I'm not f****** weak

[midnightmoon05]

He is cheating and you know it well!! And he continues to lie to you. Everyone here is point what a jerk he is… yet you are not able to answer what will you do next? And you are an anon… that is weak. Be strong you deserve to be treated well.

[Asker]

I said what I will do next is I want to work on my relationship not forget but try to move on

[midnightmoon05]

Naive.