I’m having an affair, I think my husband suspects but he’s avoiding confronting it?

[Anonymous]

I’m in the middle of what would probably be called an affair, it started off as a secret friendship for 7 years but the past year it’s been sexual. I believe my husband has suspected for a while at the beginning, and even asked me out front which I denied. Since then I have became less concerned of showing signs of having an affair, I’ve got sloppy with hiding it as the affair has progressed further, maybe I’ve been trying to show obvious signs subconsciously so I can admit all? I’m just speculating and being my own therapist. But anyway, recently I’ve been out every weekend, saying I’m with friends with no real proof, getting extra done up. Which he’s questioned, coming home early hours or not atall as I’ve been “sleeping at my friends house”. He’s going extra underwear in my handbag, and even had sex with me after I’ve just had sex with him. He never asks to look at my phone, or wants proof of where I go, so you think I could be imagining him allowing me to have an affair or do you think it’s likely he has an idea? Why would he not confront me if he knew, might I add, we do have a lively relationship, we have sex regularly more than average, we are very affectionate and over all have a beautiful life together. I’m having an affair with someone I also love deeply, no excuses given, I’ll face my consequences when the time comes but until then I will continue to please myself, as you only have one life.

[aceleon]

one life? is this the thing youtell yourself? ohhow much i would like to literally eat that life out of your skin and bones you pathetic excuse for a human, love deeply? you are not capable of love you psychotic whore, if i'd put my punch into your chest cavity i would have nothing but emptiness and blood there , fuck you, fuck your life, fuck your affair and fuck your very blood, you deserve every inch of pain every people who lived on this world whether past or now or future felt, there is no describing how much i want to rip your very soul out of your chest and make you eat your own internal organs you low life infernal slut, you are nothing more than a wretched whore and if your hub knows this and allows it, is an beyond pathetic cuck, i just feel sorry for your mother and father who had the misfortune of bringing a horrible excuse for a human being and spent 18 years on you, they would bebetter of trying to raise a serial killer at least it woud get rid of scum like you if we were lucky.

[Asker]

No remorse no fucks given. See u in hell 😉

[aceleon]

you will go there much sooner than me and you can be asured you will be there for much longer you she demon. screw you to the deepest parts of the hell scram you god damn whore

[Asker]

I’m so pleased you wasted so much time typing, just for the info… I’m guessing your the issue woman cheat on you, sort yourself out your a mess. Blame yourself if you wasn’t good enough they would have stuck around

[BadApple69]

I still love I have so much to add here from both sides… I was cheated on by my wife and even though hind sight all the signs were there I didn’t see any of them. To this day I can’t believe I was so blind. I thought we had the perfect marriage.
Now years after that it was me having the affair. I too have been confronted about it and I never directly denied it but suggested that it’s not happening. My indiscretions are with a women I’ve known for 12-13 years but only in the past 6 months has it become sexual. My home life isn’t as good as yours sounds. My wife works 2 jobs (her choice and honestly greed) when I see her she is so tired nothing happens in the bedroom… I actually told her I need to get a girlfriend and she said “go ahead”. So I did.
I still love the wife but the girlfriend is more fun. So I live two lives now. Oh and the girlfriend knows about the wife…. She is pushing me to dump the wife… that won’t happen and I told her that.

[Asker]

That sounds like us, I’ve known him longer than I’ve known my husband. My relationship is seamingly perfect, he’s married too though his is more of a friendship. They have sex but it’s not regular and they don’t show affection, he sleeps on the sofa most nights. He describes his life as miserable, he loves her, he will never leave her but he doesn’t want to let me go either.

[Asker]

His wife as miserable, not life. Other than her attitude he’s apparently very happy with his life, he runs a successful business and is an amazing father.

[Asker]

I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think my husband does know. But I think if I was to confess it would all make sense and piece together….

[BadApple69]

How do you think your husband would take the confession?
Is this affair something you want to continue? If not then I wouldn’t tell him. Let sleeping dogs lie.

[Anonymous]

If he knows, but is not confronting you, then he no longer cares. These are the actions of a broken man; indifference and disinterest. He may still have sex with you, but he is no longer invested in you.

[Paige90]

Do you have sex with your husband when you have the other guys cum inside you?

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you have any children with your husband?

[Asker]

No we never desired children. We have dogs 🤣

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever approached your husband about an open marriage?

[Asker]

Yes he wouldn’t allow it. He’s very jealous, I’m not even allowed to wear what I want, I don’t even look in the direction of other men when we are out together. In a way I think his behaviour over the years has pushed me too it, like the other week I was out cleaning my car and my underwear was showing, but he caused an argument because of it. He’s very posssessive which is the opposite of my affair partner. My ap enjoy that I have sex with him and others. My husband would not.

[Asker]

Enjoys *

[OlderAndWiser]

So isn't the outcome here inevitable?

[Flatmanlewis]

An anonymous girl answer said it best. He’s indifferent and doesn’t even care. He may be choosing to be blind because he doesn’t want to deal with uprooting his life and he may be choosing to just let you do your thing since he truly doesn’t care about you the way he once did. Either way, it’s a horribly sad situation and you really should be ashamed that you are so casual about the whole situation.

[Drew-1990]

I'm sorry but that is horrible. I don't care if we only live life once to do that to another person is cruel. Either he just suspects but doesn't know for sure or he is in complete denial. This is probably killing him inside. When it comes out this is going to be horrible for both of you.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

personally, he has already started making plans to leave the relationship and is just gathering evidence to use or finalize a divorce.

Your on borrowed time.

Otherwise he has a cheating kink and just doesn't care.

[RavVid]

I think you might have posted before but it might have been a similar story I'm remembering.

It would seem to be difficult for him not to realize what you are doing. Quite simply you cannot but notice that woman has had sex immediately before you got in. It is up to the hilt in one thrust and even the first time, you know.

Would you be happy if your husband similarly had an affair? It might be more sustainable.

[JacobJordan]

He probably doesn't care and confronting you would just mean you steal half his shit so best to just let you be a slut. Also could just be compiling proof so he can leave you homeless and broken with nothing.

[Billlewis]

If you think he's okay with your ongoing indiscretions, I think you should simply continue seeing your boyfriend, at least until your husband says he doesn't want it to continue.

[ProbablyClueless]

He probably figures that something is up, but you've already denied it. He doesn't want to come across nosey or make it seem like he doesn't trust you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Gathering evidence to give his divorce lawyer would be my bet.

[DarkWinterNights]

He’s either gathering evidence for a divorce, or you’re too busy cheating to notice he’s cheated on you as well.

[jahaims]

I hope the worst things in life happens to you. Cheaters are trash.

[noohair]

So if he was doing the same thing to you, would you accept the rationalizing that you are doing here?

[Asker]

If I hadn’t of been in this position I would have been heart broken, but given i know what it’s like to be stuck in an affair i would compromise with him. It’s actually an awful place to be, to be in love with two people at the same time.

[noohair]

Don't you think about anyone buy yourself? If you were a man I would say man-up. But you live in your oen self centered world where only your feelings matter.

[KrakenAttackin]

Your children are the ones who will suffer the most.

[sawno]

I hope he wises up.

[sawno]

But as far as advice goes, admit it to him and see what happens.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Another 304, the sky is blue.