My boyfriend thinks it's fair for him to ask me for nudes 5-6 times a week because now we're in long distance. Is it tho?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend just went away to college and we agreed to be long distance till that time. During this, he's been asking me to send nudes 5-6 times a week, which I'm not comfortable with and have said so. He thinks that nudes are "very very important" now that we're in LDR. Whenever I'm not in the mood, I tell him that and he then accuses me of cockblocking him and remains mad at me for it. He then takes his frustrations out on me and when I tell him that he's patronizing me, he says things like "patronizing is a harsh word", even though he literally scolds me like I'm a child. Whenever I don't send him pics, he acts in an immature way. He has a high libido so him constantly asking me for nudes irritates me, but I'm hesitant to convey that irritation because he even goes as far as saying that I'm "neglecting his needs". He's also very insecure about the fact that I'll cheat on him and thinks it's justified because his past girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. Is it fair for him to make mountains out of mole hills like this, just because we're not able to physically be with each other?

[Finchie40]

Not at all, your boyfriend is sadly a selfish person that only really cares about himself , because he doesn’t know what the word No means, he always thinks he is right and never wrong. Just because his ex cheated on him doesn’t give him the right to point fingers at you and assume that you are going to cheat on him , I hate to say this to you , but you should really reconsider your relationship with him , people that can never admit that they are wrong shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone because they only care about what they feel is best for themselves , they can have a relationship all by themselves , they do not know how to give the same way they want to receive. Your boyfriend sadly doesn’t really care about your feelings , the fact that he doesn’t respect that you don’t want to send him nudes or feel comfortable sending him nudes , shows his true colors about how he only thinks about , what is best for himself. You are only going to be a convenience to him , if you choose to stay with him , His expectations are only based off of what he feels is best for himself , he is the type of guy that will cheat on you , if he doesn’t get his way , Mark my words He is a selfish person that only cares about himself , you sadly can be any girl because he truly doesn’t respect you what so ever if he cared about you and loved you? He would respect your feelings.

[Mr_twoface]

In my book if one individual in a couple is not comfortable with doing something, the partner will respect their wishes no matter what. It’s all about being respectful towards their boundaries and finding a common ground that works for them. I don’t think its OK for him do upset you nor patronise you for it since after all its your body and your nudes. He can continue to use his imagination with the pics he has received and stand up to your moral values and be strong and confident saying no. Hopefully you also sending nudes not involving your face.

Take care!

[PetLover24]

1st - The fact he has such little respect for you & a "high libido" is a strong indicator he's not as innocent as he tries. Many cheaters project onto their partners so his claims of you cheating may very well be him doing it. For all you know he cheated on his past girlfriend with her best friend.

2nd - do you enjoy being treated like a piece of property & a child? If so, you're never going to have a decent or respectable relationship and will always end up being treated in an extremely poor fashion by men.

Do yourself a favor. Get rid of him.

[Anonymous]

tell him to grow up.

you're not comfortable with it. he says it's "very very important". HOW? communication is more important to a long lasting relationship. not him jacking off. so ridiculous.

sad to finally see that he was probably, for the majority, using you for sex. amazing how people can show their real colors once things "get tough".

i noticed how you mentioned "he's very insecure that YOU will cheat" yet i'm seeing this the other way around. i think he may end up cheating very soon. since he can't handle his "high libido".

[Asker]

Well, he thinks that nudes are a way of communication in an LDR

[Opinion Owner]

that's not a way of communication. he's immature as hell if he thinks that.

[AI Opinion]

Lovebombing alert! 🚨 While it's normal for there to be a craving for closeness in a long-distance relationship, pressuring you for nudes is crossing a line. Consent is key, darling, and if you're not comfortable, that's the end of the discussion! His high libido does not give him a free pass to disregard your feelings. Using guilt or making you feel like you're "neglecting his needs" is a big red flag. It's not about being fair or not; respect and understanding are what's needed. As for his insecurity, understanding is important, but it shouldn't be used as leverage against you. Love shouldn't feel like a constant battle or negotiation for your comfort. Have a heart-to-heart, and if the behavior continues, reevaluate if this dynamic truly meets your needs. Remember, you deserve to feel safe and respected! 💙

[AviatorTom]

You've sent him enough pictures to satisfy his fapping needs. Just tell him that you are okay with him masturbating to your nude pictures, that you like him thinking of you, but you don't think he needs any more pictures.

Then, ask him to send you a picture of him masturbating to one (or more) of your pictures so that you can pleasure yourself, thinking of him.

Fair is fair in an LDR.

[Truthatanycost]

Why so many of you put up with these toxic relationships I will never know. My life is blessing from God and my peace is a big part of that. Anyone that disturbs that peace in any way is ejected from my life for good!

I wouldn't even put up with what you mentioned for 30 seconds. Why are you?

[Daniela1982]

He's probably sharing them online or selling them on the internet. If you are not comfortable doing it then don't. If he doesn't like it, then he can lump it. How much is your self-worth and morality worth to you? Where did you meet this turkey pot pie anyway? He sounds like a manipulative jerk to me. 😣

[WindAtMyBack]

Don't ever send nudes. Don't even take the pics in the first place.

He sounds like an immature spoiled asshole. Literally everything you said about him is negative. Add to that being a LDR. You need to seriously think about this relationship in an honest objective way, and ask yourself why you are with him.

[Anonymous]

He sounds exhausting. You don’t have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. And no, nudes are not important for maintaining a long distance relationship. He complains about you neglecting his “needs” (sex is not a need just to be clear) but he has no problem neglecting your boundaries, which are more important.

[MsProsperity]

I think he’s a burden in your life. Stop sending and see where the relationship will go, he shouldn’t gaslight you. I’d dump him

[Asker]

Wdym by he's a burden in my life? Just curious

[MsProsperity]

He’s forcing you to send nudes even when you’re not in the mood. He demands nudes more than he should. He’s gaslighting you when you don’t send. I’m pretty sure he’s also threatening to break up if you don’t send

[Asker]

No he doesn't threaten to break up. He's said it multiple times he'd like to "wife me up"

[MsProsperity]

Well his actions don’t correspond with his words. Girl he doesn’t respect you

[CrabCakes11]

Do not marry this man. He’s extremely toxic

[MsProsperity]

And stupid

[CrabCakes11]

This is toxic and weird. The amount of insecurity and demanding should be your hint that he is not ready for a relationship and that you should leave.

[DrPepper12]

First, LDR NEVER work out. Save the pix and get frisky with the locals. He sounds kinda whiny and needy plus there's better than 50/50 odds, if he's a college freshman, that he's Cheating on you anyway. Call it quits.

[Massageman]

From a practical sense in society, don't sent any compromising photos of yourself to anyone- at anytime- to anywhere.

From a relationship standpoint, this one was dead before it started. Bail!

[sheikalana]

That's just childish to me. Me and my Husband have been away from each other regularly and we never ask or expect the other to send nudes. That's pathetic.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yes it is fair for him to ask, just as it is fair for you to refuse!

[Asker]

Well I do refuse when I don't feel like it, but then he accuses me of cockblocking him and "neglecting" him. I'm irritated because it has become an everyday thing now

[TommyMountainFigure]

See that is when the line is crossed. He can ask and you can refuse. BUT.. what he said was unacceptable!

[jshm2]

You should be sending exactly zero nudes to anyone. If he ditches your ass tomorrow that's a lot of revenge porn he can profit from.

[Account]

Don't do anything you are not comfortable doing. Take care of yourself.

[JacobJordan]

Your boyfriend is an idiot. What he wants is irrelevant if you aren't comfortable or don't want to. And you can tell him I said that.

[AmyHew1tt]

No, it's not at all fair. Girl. . . get out of this while you can.

[laly520]

u have to tell him its enough

all it takes is a 'NO'

[RedInnocent69]

It depends. How often do you fuck when you’re together?

[jjj101010]

Do u ever send him any. If so why does he need new ones each time?

[Asker]

It's not like I don't send at all. But asking me 5 or 6 days a week is just too much. And whenever I'm tired or not in the mood, I tell him but then he whines about it and says "always the same excuse". He then justifies his high libido as a reason for all this.

[jjj101010]

Seems to be a bit one way this relationship

[Asker]

Because we have different libidos?

[jjj101010]

Well that is normal isn’t it. He seems very demanding and not very understanding. Happy to chat it through if u want. Drop me a message

[jjj101010]

Happy to give u a different guys perspective from someone who also has a relatively high libido

[DishLady]

No. He's a creep. Don't send him anything.

[LiamJHayden]

Never send nudes.