Friendship or emotional affair?

Anonymous
I seem to have caught myself up in an emotional affair. I’m in a 15 year marriage with children, and so is he, we literally got married the same year. I have known him since high school, and although we always had a thing for eachother nothing ever happened between us sexually, though we were always close. We lost contact for around 5 years and then he got back in contact, congratulating me on the birth of my baby. I was happy to hear from him, and we were both pleased with how well we had done for ourselves. We said our goodbyes and I didn’t think I would here from him again, but he kept returning on and off, until the past few years he permanently stayed around. We got so close again, like in high school, and spoke nearly everyday. We talk for hours, and tell eachother anything and everything, though meet rarely, as friends, with other friends around. Lately we spoke more of feelings, and how much we care for eachother, and how attached we both feel. I touched on the word love, though didn’t actually say it, and we always spoke of the undeniable sexual attraction. I love my husband, and told my friend i no longer wanted contact with him, that I didn’t want anyone being hurt, that he’s happy, I’m happy, and we don’t need this between us to be happy, and that maybe in another life we can be closer, but for now during this one this has to be it. He respected my decision and we haven’t spoke since, but why am I hurting so bad, he’s all I think about, I love my husband, but can I also love my friend. Was our friendship wrong? Our spouses didn’t know the extent we spoke, or how detailed our conversations were, but they were aware we did talk. I’m so confused, and overwhelmed with feelings. One minute you feel in-control and understand your life and the next you’ve skipped a thousand steps infront and wonder how you got there.
Friendship or emotional affair?
3 Opinion