Cutting a longggg story short, I’m in a 15 year marriage with a man I love, he’s not all
innocent before anyone suggests I’m so wrong, which I know I am, but he has been too over the years. We have a good relationship, but it was rocky during the beginning of me getting close to someone else. During this period i we was basically single, we didn’t speak and slept in different rooms. But stayed to meet her due to him not affording anywhere else. During the first year I got closer to a friend, it was just someone to talk too, he began making me feel happy, as we was so miserable at home. Somehow me and my husband worked through it, after a year of being so distant, but the friendship didn’t end or reduce with my friend. Skip forward 5 years and me and my husband have been amazing for the past 4 years, we fell in love again, but the relationship with my friend continued to grow too. One minute I felt as though I can a hold on my life and knew where it was headed and then I’ve fast forwarded 1000 steps and I don’t know how I got to where I am. Nothing has ever happened physically, but we used to talk almost daily, deep, meaningful conversations, we don’t meet in person often but when we have we’ve hugged, that felt more than a friendly hug, and held hands etc. Recently I’ve told him this between us needs to end, that I love my husband and he would be hurt to find out the extent of how much we talk, in the past I’ve told him I miss him, I love him, I care about him, and it’s all true, I do love both, but would always pick my husband, my friend has listened and said he didn’t want it to end up will let it go if it’s what I wanted, we haven’t spoke since and it’s been nearly 4 months. I thought it would get easier but I feel like I’m grieving, I’m posting here as some mad attempt to stop me reaching out to him, I feel such a need to see how he is. What he’s been upto, some days I feel as though he’s all I think of, and like a piece of me is missin. when will it stop hurtin
innocent before anyone suggests I’m so wrong, which I know I am, but he has been too over the years. We have a good relationship, but it was rocky during the beginning of me getting close to someone else. During this period i we was basically single, we didn’t speak and slept in different rooms. But stayed to meet her due to him not affording anywhere else. During the first year I got closer to a friend, it was just someone to talk too, he began making me feel happy, as we was so miserable at home. Somehow me and my husband worked through it, after a year of being so distant, but the friendship didn’t end or reduce with my friend. Skip forward 5 years and me and my husband have been amazing for the past 4 years, we fell in love again, but the relationship with my friend continued to grow too. One minute I felt as though I can a hold on my life and knew where it was headed and then I’ve fast forwarded 1000 steps and I don’t know how I got to where I am. Nothing has ever happened physically, but we used to talk almost daily, deep, meaningful conversations, we don’t meet in person often but when we have we’ve hugged, that felt more than a friendly hug, and held hands etc. Recently I’ve told him this between us needs to end, that I love my husband and he would be hurt to find out the extent of how much we talk, in the past I’ve told him I miss him, I love him, I care about him, and it’s all true, I do love both, but would always pick my husband, my friend has listened and said he didn’t want it to end up will let it go if it’s what I wanted, we haven’t spoke since and it’s been nearly 4 months. I thought it would get easier but I feel like I’m grieving, I’m posting here as some mad attempt to stop me reaching out to him, I feel such a need to see how he is. What he’s been upto, some days I feel as though he’s all I think of, and like a piece of me is missin. when will it stop hurtin
