Why has my husband changed so much and no longer loves me?

[Anonymous]

For a while my husband has been giving methe silent treatment he would reject me on sex.

Not so long ago I found out he is having an affair with his 20 year old secretary. I read his text while his was taking shower I ask him fornan explanation and he denied about it at first. I feel I had always been a good wife. I cook and clean I maea good income. I put my husbands needs first before mine. Everything I cook for dinner it's always my husband choice. Why would he want a younger woman?

I work out all the time. I get my hair done and I am always looking cute for my husband. For 32 birthdayast week he celebrated at work but when he came home he didn't want me making him a cake he decide to go out with his friends at a club. I let him be.

Yesterday when he got home from work I ask him what he wanted to do on his day off. He look me straight in my eyes and he straight out told me I don't love you anymore. He went on telling me I don't care how good looking you are. I don't how much money you make. You could bea hot good looking super model nonenof that is going to stop ne from getting a divorce. He straight up told me he loves someone else that no han can control their emotions when they love someone.

He seriously hurt me really bad and I broke down into tears. Why is he doing this? Why would he changed so much? I can't stop crying. WHAT CAN A 32 YEAR OLD MEN POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WITH A 20 YEAR OL WOMAN? We have more things in common I am 30 and he is 32 years old.

[MrOracle]

What most people think of as "love" is really just infatuation and/or sexual attraction. They have a shallow, Disney princess idea of love (this include plenty of men too). That's not love, though.

Love is about acceptance and sacrifice - things that you apparently understand but that he doesn't. I suspect he is attractive and successful, but he also clearly has low morals and values - and I promise you that he always did. A common problem that good woman make is that they focus far too much on the surface of their potential partners and not nearly enough on their morals, values, and life goals. Those are the things that matter long-term, and clearly he doesn't have them.

You can't change or "fix" him - or any man - you have to vet every potential partner for their morals, values, and life goals, above all other factors. And, yes, this means that you will likely have to give up some looks or success or status to get that kind of guy, because the more popular and successful guys rarely have the kind of morals and values that will sustain a relationship.

It's unfortunate that you had to learn this lesson the hard way, but learn it well and do a much better job of vetting your potential partners next time, BEFORE you commit. Don't trust your feelings, because feelings only care about RIGHT NOW, and don't care if they sabotage your future. You MUST use logic and reason primarily, INFORMED by your feelings sure, but letting logic and reason take the lead.

Morals and values are WAY too undervalued, and you can't make someone change. If a guy has bad morals and values today, they will still be bad in a year, or 5 years, or 10. Eventually, it will affect you. The only time you have an opportunity to make a good choice is at the beginning - once you commit, it's too late to avoid a big heartbreak, and often other problems.

[DrPepper12]

Novelty met opportunity. It's really that simple. She will get bored with him and find a new shiny objects and he will crawl back to you except you will have moved on by then and hopefully he learned his lesson. Don't fight for what's no longer yours.

[jahaims]

He never loved you

[Asker]

That's very hurtful thing to say. What makes yiu think he never loved me?