Search Results: hate trying to date

I met a girl who changed my life back in 2013, we only dated casually until the beginning of 2014, and we stopped talking because of a minor disagreement. But within a few months, she reached out to me, and we dated exclusively for 6 months, but she broke up with me because she was Mormon, and I'm not.
Over a year and a half later, I reached out to try and fix things because I missed her. She said she was hurt by me not reaching out sooner, and she said she didn't want me in her life anymore.
I was heartbroken, and deleted my Facebook because I didn't want to see her move on.
But, 6 months later she reached out yet again, and I confessed I had been in love with her and we got back together, and she became in love with me. But she committed to going on a mission for her church before we got back together. Despite this, I tried the church, hated it and she stayed with me and we even looked at engagement rings and everything.
But things changed when she left and I was upset, and she broke things off again. I fought for the relationship, and I knew she was conflicted about it, and I just let her finish her mission without getting involved.
I wrote a letter to her to kickstart things back in March and suprisingly never heard from her. I found out she's back, and I tried to reach out on social media to her and she denied my requests and i don't think she's read my message.
I'm absolutely heartbroken, devastated, and depressed. I don't want to lose her and I don't want anyone to love her like I do. She's never ignored me before, and someone gave me a theory that she was suprised by the letter in March, and is just not ready to talk to me right now. But this just hurts. I feel like a complete fool for trying so hard. I wanted to marry this girl, and I thought she was my soul mate.