Search Results: thoughts on mother's day

I've been going out with my partner for nearly three years and his family are amazing. At the beginning of the relationship his younger sister and I used to get along, all of us would sit up watching movies, she used to call me her sister.
My parents have never been a big fan of my boyfriend and have caused problems between us from the off set. Causing my partner stress and last year it hit breaking point, my partner had a wondering eye and thoughts about someone I knew. My parents went off the scale (the people who have abused me for years.) they banned me near him, twisting stories, even tried beating the care I had for my partner out of me, little did I know they had been sending my partner and his family death threats leading up to his incident. The confusion got so bad I ended up taking an overdose.

It was then apparent that I couldn't live in the same house as my parents anymore, so my partners family took me in, everything was going fine, everything was working out. I started working but I had to get up at unusual times. the movie nights continued with his sister, but it was getting later, my partners Mother had a word with his sister saying that we needed our space and that I was at work so I needed to go bed early little to my knowledge. That was last Christmas Eve. so that was strike one.

On Christmas day last year his parents got me equal presents to her. this seemed to be strike 2 and on boxing day we took her shopping, she liked a teddy, to which I got her and she said she didn't want it. she was very distant from me which was unusual. since then she has just gotten worse, she cannot stand to even be in the same room as me. she daggers me, ignores me, I've just changed my job to full time hours and it is late and early starts, so my partners room isn't the tidiest and she will comment on it. her best friend hates me his sister has even got a close family friend to try and split us up.

His Mum told me his sister thinks I've taken him away? How?

I can remember random things here and there, such as building a snowman one year and riding in a Barbie jeep with my sister, but there are huge gaps in my memory. Most of my memories don't start until the age of 10, and even then there isn't much to remember except for big, memorable events. Such as praying for my father to live and witnessing domestic violence at my mother's house (two separate households).

When I was 6 years old, my half-sister called the police one night and said my father molested her. At the time, on that day, I saw it happen, but I blacked out and didn't remember it until later in life. My mother said that my body was so limp she'd thought I had been drugged, because that's how much I blacked out; I left my body for a while. She took me to the hospital for a drug test and found nothing. By the way, my sister later said that she had been raped for 3 years by him. I never knew that.

So... I've come to terms with this memory, but there are still gaps in my memory. Huge ones. The other day, I saw pictures of me (at the age of 7 or so) completely naked. Pictures that my father took and had developed professionally. I was old enough to have remembered something like that, but the image didn't bring back any memories. None at all.

There's one more thing. When I was a kid, I played with dolls often, and I remember how I played with them. I've never known why, but I would imagine that one doll was raping the other or I was doing it to them. I'd also cut slits in the bodies of my Polly Pockets and stuff like that... Again, I don't know why or where the idea came from. It's just something I did.

Do you honestly think I've suppressed a trauma? It really bothers me that I can't remember anything...