Search Results: marriage and feelings

Pros and cons of dating a divorcee:

Pros
1. Time – divorce is often the result of a relationship where people rushed in too quickly and didn’t really take sufficient time to get to know each other. It is unlikely that someone who has been through this will want to make the same mistake again so they are more likely to take their time getting to know you.

2. Commitment – having already made a commitment a divorcee will often be much clearer about the realities of that decision and the problems that can arise.

3. Experience – when someone has been through the pain, loss and separation that divorce can entail, it can make them more rounded as a person.


Cons
1. Once bitten – for some divorcees the experience was so painful that they resolve to never make the same mistake again and therefore will not consider remarrying.

2. Emotional baggage – a bad divorce can leave people bitter, angry, resentful and with a skewed view of relationships. While their feelings may be entirely justified it may be impossible to break down the barriers and form a new relationship until they have worked through the issues. It takes time to heal and the more recent the divorce was the more likely it is that they are still working through their feelings.

3. Trust – although it is unfair to be judged because of someone else’s bad behavior, when a person has been badly hurt they are going to be wary of trusting again. You will need to be patient and over time trust will build as the painful past is replaced with healthier experiences in the here and now.

4. Family ties – if there are children from the marriage you have to accept, whatever the age of the children and whether they live with their parent or not, that this match comes as a package. Having children will usually also necessitate contact with the other parent to some degree and this can be difficult when a new relationship is developing.

Please don’t judge me or tell me to not be a home wrecker.
he and I have had feelings for a year. We work together. He tried to ask me out indirectly initially but I acted like he is just telling me about events around the city. I did this out of respect for the girl he is with.
We recently shared our feelings and he admitted he can see us together but thinks it’s difficult as he and his girlfriend had talked about marriage when they came back together after a break up.
I stepped back and he got affected by it. Now he shows interest in being with me but hasn’t made a move yet. He is looking at buying apartment with his girl but it could be that he is doing it to get a reaction from me. He has done similar thing in past. By the way, he didn’t want me to know that the girl has offered to help him with the finances. A common friend mentioned that it’s good his girl is helping. he instantly got sad that I got to know about it.
I know that he will come if I flirt with him but I do not want that. I know that he isn’t into his girlfriend for long haul and just feels obligated to be with her else he would not still be having feelings for me. He gets jealous of other common guy friends and gets territorial.
i want to know what’s the correct way to have him in my life for the long haul.