Search Results: he never follows up on doing things

Recently my boyfriend has had some amount of upheaval in his life with having to move and find a new job. We used to live in the same apartment complex, now he is staying with his family, still not far away, yet without a place to really call his own.

Before all this, it was rare that we spent a night away from each other. We've almost been together 10 months. I knew that there would be an adjustment, but I'm seeing a change in his behavior that makes me worry.

He is working long hours, doing hard labor, I know that. But he used to always come home, or at least, call to wish me goodnight. Now, despite us having discussed him coming over, often I will not hear from him. I will wait up, unable to sleep, worried that something is wrong, and will never hear from him. He will stand me up. I have talked to him about it, and he is sorry and doesn't mean for it to happen. He just falls asleep at his sister's almost as soon as he gets home from work. According to him.

I trust him completely, however, every man I've ever said I love you to has cheated on me. While I know my boyfriend loves me and I do not doubt his fidelity, his behavior puts me in a frame of mind that I do not want to be in. I have told him this. He always is sorry but the behavior does not change. I've been understanding. I know he is working hard, I know that he is under a great deal of stress.

Am I asking too much to just want a phone call telling me, "hey baby, I'm really tired and I'm not coming tonight." or any communication of any kind?

I want us to work out. I love him and I know he loves me. I don't want this to come between us. Its just so hard to think in my head when he says, "I'll see you tonight." that I can't count on that. That some days I won't hear from him at all.

Guys and girls, should I adapt, cut him some slack, and lower my expectations? Or should I put my foot down and tell him that I need him to try harder to communicate with me? If I put my foot down, how far do I go? He always is sorry, but the behavior doesn't change. What consequence should there be? I won't break up with him over something like this and I don't use sex as a weapon so are not things I'm considering.

I don't need him to necessarily be there. I just need him to follow up if he says he is going to be. Please help!