Search Results: older brother issues

I actually have this happening in two different cases. My younger brother treats his daughter like a slave. She is expected to keep the house clean, watch her special needs sister, go to school (online classes) and she is also working nearly 30 hours a week. When I say slave I mean, he refuses to do the work at all including taking care of his own special needs daughter. He refused to let my niece (she is 17) come over to see our new puppy because he didn't want to watch his special needs daughter by himself. He also makes her do stuff like massage his feet, bring him dinner and give him money from her paycheck to buy him fast food. There is more than just that, but these are just examples.

When she is 18 she wants to move in with my wife and I so she can get away from it and focus on school and having a life.

My friend (21) also has a very similar situation where her father actually bugs her apartment (he sometimes stays there and pays rent since she is a full time student) to listen in on her conversations. He says he is only paying for her college so she becomes a doctor where he can then retire and have her support him financially for the rest of his life. She isn't even sure she even wants to be a doctor and has major medical issues that her parents ignored growing up that could have been fixed when she was younger. Her mom is not better honestly. I have sort of unofficially adopted her and she does things like movie nights with me and my family (our kids see her as an older sister), but mostly I just try to help her build confidence in standing up for herself.

Given the situations, would you help or stay out of it?

Okay so my mom has been controlling all of my life, and has been a tiger parent since this is an Asian household. She’s is emotionally, physically, and financially abusing my siblings and I since we were born. However, recently like within the last few years, my brother started to go out and have sleepovers claiming it was for work when we caught him actually having sleepovers with his girlfriend (we’re all not allowed to date either).

here’s the kicker, my mom doesn’t do anything to him about it. She claims she has discussions with him and he “apologizes saying he won’t do it again” but does continually in front of her face to the point she just lets him go no questions asked. But, if I want to do the same, it’s a problem. She doesn’t see an issue with her ways and feels like she’s treating us appropriately.

i told her that I wanted to go to a sleepover today since I’ve been planning it for quite some time and she threatened to get physical with me and all that other jazz. I’m not sure what to do or if I should wait until tomorrow or something like once I leave the house to tell her I’m staying the night even though that might cause more problems. I talked to my therapist about this as well and he’s telling me to do it but I’m not sure how. Also I’m 22 years old. What do you think?