Search Results: keeping a journal

I'm still planning on seeing a phychiatris

I think I'm at the beginning stages of my active phase. I've been having trouble controlling my emotions and expressions, my mind is all over the place, I'm hearing sounds and some voices that aren't there, my anxiety it through the roof and I'm having trouble keeping up with daily tasks.
One of the hallucinations I've been having is when I'm laying in bed and see these dark transparent figures stabbing me with knives. I would wake up or look up from my phone and see it. My torso would feel compressed during this, it's the same feeling you get when you ride a rollercoaster.
But yet I don't scream or call for help, I just let it happen. I know if I get help they'll think I'm completely losing it. After 6 years it's just become life.
I've only just became aware of this very recently, if you came to me 2+ years ago and told me that I have Schizophrenia I'd think you're the one that's crazy. I've been documenting it in my journal in hopes that it'll help me recover in the future.