Questions: Dating

30F and I don’t think I’ll ever shake my core belief that any decently presentable lady has no prob finding a man, a pretty girl well forget about it. I’m very reserved, I’ve always been but was *friendlier* in my early twenties, now I’m borderline antisocial. I always blamed growing up overweight as the reason why I didn’t get attention from guys/wasn’t popular, I lost weight in my early twenties and have maintained my weight loss since (still slim thick). Again, this weight loss didn’t change the attention I got from guys & I was a bit more sociable back then.

I’m told I’m attractive (from all kinds of people for most of my life & not only family/friends) & the only times attractive guys take initiative are on dating apps. And apps are absolute trash as we know, guys I’d find attractive in person have never made it known to me directly. It’s always that RARE occasion where I think one is maybe making eye contact or someone I knew pointed out a guy was looking at me/word of mouth this or that guy found me attractive etc. Then on dating apps, I’d have guys that I initially considered *potential* eventually showing interest in me (asking out etc) after I got to know them a bit more and I just find a way to dip out.

Im so conflicted. I feel invisible & when a guy appeals to me in some way on a dating app (which should be taken with a grain of salt), I just can’t be bothered for whatever the reason is for me at that moment. It’s apathy/anxiety/self sabotage/confusion etc?