I Have a Huge Crush on My Mom’s Boyfriend. I get jealous. How Do I Move Past It?

[Anonymous]

I have a massive crush on my mom's boyfriend. He's incredibly charming, ridiculously good-looking, smart, funny, and the kind of guy who makes my heart race. Every time I think about him I get all giddy and excited inside. I feel this crazy fluttering in my stomach whenever he's around, and I can’t stop thinking about him.

Whenever my mom invites me to do something and I know he’ll be there, I jump at the chance without hesitation. The thought of spending time with him makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine. Sometimes, I even fantasize about him breaking up with my mom, them sorting things out, and somehow, me and him eventually being together. It's embarrassing to admit, but I can’t help it. The more I try to push these feelings away, the stronger they seem to get.

I know, deep down, this is totally irrational and unrealistic. For starters, he’s dating my mom, and he’s over 20 years older than me—he’s literally old enough to be my dad (he even has kids my age). He's in a completely different stage of life, and I know nothing would ever happen between us. But still, I can't shake these feelings.

Even though I feel all these intense emotions, I do love my mom, and I’m genuinely happy for her that she found such a great guy who makes her happy. I don’t want to do anything to ruin that or get in the way of their relationship. I haven’t told anyone about this crush—not my mom, not my friends—because I feel embarrassed and ashamed of how strong it is.

But, at the same time, it’s starting to affect my relationship with my mom. I get super jealous when they go on dates. There were a couple of times I knew they were doing it, and I felt consumed with jealousy. Sometimes it feels like I can’t control how upset I get. I know it's irrational, but it’s hard not to feel this way when my emotions are so overwhelming. (Continued)

Updates

1 y

I really want to stop having such a huge crush on him, but I don’t know how to get rid of these feelings. How can I stop being so obsessed with him and not feel jealous every time my mom spends time with him?

[Anonymous]

Until you move out or find your own man as a distraction then it’s gonna be hard getting over your crush if you see him all the time. Just try keeping things in perspective, like he’s taken by your mother and it could never happen, you wouldn’t want it to happen, and If he were meant for you then that’s what god would’ve done.

[Asker]

So do you think I need to move out? Or do you think there's another way to just get over it?

[Opinion Owner]

Moving out is your best bet because then you have some distance to get over him and not having to see him all the time. It’s hard to move on when you’re around him fairly often.

[Anonymous]

[Staximus]

Go find your own boyfriend, do not betray your mom

[Staximus]

There's plenty of older guys that you can fool around with, just go find one

[In_Trance]

Find someone else

[Asker]

Thanks captain obvious

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆