Questions

Trouble putting consistent effort into romantic gestures, maintaining physical appearance and fitness to look decent for yourself and your partner, spending quality time, initiating and giving your partner lots of physical touch, giving words of affirmation, doing acts of service for them when you can, etc.

Have you honestly never been lazy to put in effort? And if not, what parts were you lazy in?

New relationships have so much excitement and energy. There are surprises and unexpected pleasures and every day brings something new. But after some period of months, or maybe a few years, there aren't many surprises and the excitement isn't at the same level as before. Eventually, you've tried everything you wanted to do in the bedroom and you are repeating things you've done before. It's the same-old same-old.

Some people are okay with things settling into a routine. For some of us, knowing what to expect is comfortable, and we don't have a need for excitement as much as we need stability and comfort. But some people need more excitement and stimulation. (How many people claim that they cheated on a partner because they got "bored?")

For this question, "long term relationship" means a relationship that has lasted at least one year. What do YOU need in a LTR: stability and comfort, or excitement and novelty?

You’re doing the dishes or vacuuming the carpet or the laundry or whatever not just because you’re obligated to but because you love the other person and it makes you feel good doing it for them. Acts of service if you will.