Search Results: guilt and shame

I cheated on him with his best friend. Actually, it was an affair drawn out over a month's time with 3 encounters. I wasn't in love with his friend — it was more of an escape from the downward spiral my life was taking. I said that we should take it slow, but the pain he had caused me was forever ingrained in my brain. The affair started Valentine's Day when I went out to a bar with his friend and a couple of their friends. His friend started feeding me shots, followed me to the bathroom, and kissed me. This was someone who was best friends with my boyfriend, who I had confided in, who I had told my fears about the relationship to. We slept together a total of three times after that). I knew it was wrong, but that hour or two I spent with him made me forget about my problems. And as soon as I got in my car, the guilt and shame washed over me. I saw my boyfriend during this time period, but I refused to do anything sexual with him, saying I still needed time. The last time I saw his friend was on my boyfriend's birthday. I had brought my boyfriend out for a nice dinner, hung out with him, then went "home" when really I went to a party at his friend's house, where the rest of his friends were. I was talking to the friend in the kitchen when he went in for a drunken kiss. How do I rix this relationship?

My family was pretty poor.. then middle class growing up. Now upperclass. I make great money. And I'm just having a moment.

Of all the things we could have been born as.. we were born as White Americans/Westerners. Most of this world lives in abject poverty. A lot of people in this country are at a statistical disadvantage because of their race.. that's me being mathematical not political. I'm not blaming anyone.

We could have been born as insects or dogs or starving African children. But were born in the most privileged class of living beings on the planet (in other words the galaxy and maybe even the universe). This is especially true if you're straight and not disabled.. and good looking. Like I said, mathematically.

Does anyone else ever pause to think about that? And how lucky you are to get to live this life? How does it make you feel? Fortunate? Grateful? Neutral? Do you feel the need to help make others lives better? Or do you dispute that you're part of the luckiest group on earth?

Personally, I just feel blessed. I don't see why people should be shamed for having good fortune. We shouldn't try to bring one group down we should try to bring others up. Though I do like giving back, which is why I volunteer. But I have 0 guilt.