For a lot of people, the holidays are the worst time of year. The thought of the holiday season quite literally seems to bring on a depression. Maybe a family member died during this time, or you struggle with the thought of visiting awful family members. Maybe this is the first year after dealing with divorce and you are lonely, or maybe the dreary weather brings down your mood, or maybe you don't have the funds to do up Christmas or visit family. Whatever the reason, or perhaps a continuation of chronic depression, there are a few ways to help you cope.
1. Surround yourself with your support system
Whomever the people are in your life who are your allies, who know what you're going through or have been through, and whom you can count on to have your back...make all efforts to actively spend time with them. Call them and ask if they can just come over and talk when you aren't doing so well or you feel like you're breaking. If you don't have that support system, try going to a local group for depression, or talking to a help hotline, or hitting the web for resources and groups that deal with depression. Don't just deal with it all by yourself or feel that's the only way you can because sometimes all you need to do is ask for help, and people will be willing to give it to you, especially if they know you're hurting.
2. You don't need to have a "perfect" Christmas
It really is one day, one minute, or one second at a time. You don't need to force yourself to a place where you are trying to have the "perfect" Christmas for yourself or others. If all you can handle this year is having 1 or 2 friends over vs. the usual huge gathering, than do that. If you feel hanging around certain people is going to make you feel worse, take a break this year and do something totally different; do something for you, hang around a new crowd, even if they are strangers at a holiday party, but don't try to live up to some expectation that you have to be this type of happy joy joy person or do everything for everyone when you aren't in that head space right now. Know that that's okay, and it may be a work in progress before you get to a point if and when you can do those things.
3. Help someone else
Depression can be all consuming. You are stuck on a hamster wheel of your own thoughts and your own pain. Get out of that space and go help someone else in need. Helping someone else puts the focus on their needs and allows you to help be part of a solution. Often the people you help won't know your struggle, so there won't be a need to keep re-hashing and going over the same issues over and over again. Instead be there for them in the moment and listen to what they've been through and maybe you can not only relate, but it may put you in a better head space to know you're doing some good.
4. Honor your loved ones
If there has been a recent death or this is the time when you lost someone you love, don't shy from the situation or try to figure out ways to forget that this is when they died. Sometimes in life, the only way forward, is through. Do something either by yourself or with the help of friends and family to honor those you've lost. Talk about them. Share their story. Cry. Release. Get mad. Get sad. You need to let all that is in you out so you don't bottle it up and let it become a depression you can't get out of because you keep putting off trying to deal with it. It's not easy. It never is, but changing the narrative in your head from a negative one where there is only pain and they are no longer with you, to one in which you honor them and the legacy they've left with you in your life, can help you on your path to healing.
5. Avoid Drama
A big supposedly big happy family event like Christmas is not the time or place to start or try to resolve drama with the people causing that in your life and adding to your depression. If you are confronted at a family gathering, ask that you speak to whatever issues they have with you or you with them, at another time, and cut them off there. It helps if you have someone with you, who can back you up and enforce that now is not the time and place, and be done with the situation at the moment by refusing to further engage. If they insist, you may, for your own sanity need to leave or ask them to leave if push comes to shove. You have a right to walk away from a situation and not engage and feel no guilt about doing so.
6. Get a move on
Exercise is one of the greatest things you can do for depression. It helps with your mood, keeps the body active, gives you something positive to do, and can release your stress. Go outside, walk around the block, head to the gym, do indoor laps at a pool.
7. Schedule some you time
With all that goes on during the holidays, it's exhausting even for those who are having a good time. You more than most, will need some time to just take a moment for yourself away from family, the noise, activity, etc. Let family and friends know this ahead of time, that you will need to step away and not be bothered. Use that moment to meditate, nap, write in a journal, relax with a movie, or if you've just been trying so hard to hold it together, cry for a minute. It's okay, and you should feel no shame or guilt for needing this time for yourself because you can't be your best self if you are broken down and exhausted both mentally and physically all the time from just trying to deal.
8. Get professional help
If you are at the point of suicidal thoughts or you can't seem to work your way out of your depression, seek out professional help. Ask a family member to help you to get help, do what you need to do to get that help you need. Not everyone will be able to bounce back from a depression even with the best of support systems. Sometimes you will need a professional to help you to work through your specific issues and if its beyond that, to even get medication for your own health and well being.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Number 5, for me, is a great starting point. Then, I would proceed to Number 7 mainly for intrapersonal contemplation. In that process, I'd realize what Number 2 is all about. Then, I'd proceed to interaction with Numbers 8, 4, 3, and 1. In those ways, I am doing Number 6 whether I'm conscious or not. :)
9. Go party on a tropical island.
Needed this, thanks