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When I was married, my wife had a great system worked out for herself.

1. If I did something wrong, it was obviously my fault because I am responsible for my own behavior.

2. Is she did something that was wrong, it was just a reaction to something wrong that I had done and, therefore, she was not responsible. That, too, was my fault!

Obviously, there is a logical fallacy in this reasoning and it also is virtually certain to arouse a passionate disagreement in your partner. More importantly, focusing on who is wrong is rarely a constructive thing to do in a relationship. It puts people on the defensive and closes them off from looking for solutions. It is much more productive to say, "I was bothered when you did _______. What can we do to resolve this problem so that it doesn't happen again?"

Not everyone will be receptive to that approach but that may simply be a clue that they are not really a good match for a long term relationship. There's your warning sign!

Have you ever had a relationship in which your partner virtually blamed you for everything that happened? How did that work out? Have you ever been in a relationship in which you actually thought that your partner was almost always at fault when a conflict arose? How did that work out?