Greetings. I'm the author sometimes known as K C Sunbeam. Here is a sample of my writing from Chapter XXVIII (28) of my website: www.thezap.net :
Because marriage is devalued, divorce is common, and often done for dubious reasons, which destroys family stability. So instead, here is Christianity's original understanding, spelled out explicitly from the Authorized King James translation of Christian scripture:
Matthew 5:31-32: "I [JESUS] say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." Matthew 19:9: "I [JESUS] say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery, and whoso marrieth her that is put away doth commit adultery." Mark 10:11-12: "He [JESUS] saith, 'Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.' " Luke 16:18: "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." Romans 7:2-3: "A woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so she is no adulteress." Yet tragically, Christendom now teaches many conflicting views.
Catholic/Eastern Orthodox Divorce
Priests claim to agree that marriages are indissoluble lifetime commitments, but abracadabra! sidestep this permanency with Annulments (costing each party hundreds of dollars, a sizable source of church revenue). Excuses for annulment follow, with my critique in bold:
"Lack of Form: If baptized Catholics marry outside the Catholic church, those marriages can sometimes be considered invalid." But every group can consider marriages outside their organization invalid; then what? "Dispensations from the 'correct' form can be granted, but without it, marriages can be invalidated." But why grant a dispensation from the correct form????????
"Contrary Intentions: The presence, on the wedding day, of an intention contrary to an essential marital quality; example: one spouse does not intend to be faithful, or believes in divorce." But why wouldn't you talk over these issues before the wedding?
"Psychological Incapacity: Incapacity, at the time of marriage, to assume marital duties; for example, one party suffers serious mental illness preventing him/her from assuming parental or spousal responsibilities. Consent requires freedom from mental illness, including latent and undiagnosed illness." But if your sweetheart was so bad, why did you marry him/her? "Mental illness" is subjective; if someone is likable, they're okay; if they are unlikable, an insurmountable problem can be diagnosed, disposing of that handicapped person, who has a greater need for a helpmeet than the average person.
"Psychological Immaturity: Immaturity impeding either party from understanding marriage's true nature. For example, a teenage couple hardly know each other but decide to marry (Hard to believe) because the girl is pregnant. They haven't thought about how they'll support each other in marriage, nor know one another well enough for a lifetime commitment." But if it wasn't considered a true marriage, you'd have to conclude they were living in sin. However, they remain a sanctified couple if they say so. Modernists bend the situation one way or the other to suit themselves.
"Conditional-ism: Presence of a future marital condition, such as one spouse demanding the other achieve a certain income level." In other words, every time a couple fights over money, there are grounds for annulment.
"Pauline Privilege (the only reason of the six with any validity whatsoever): When two unbaptized people marry, that marriage is non-sacramental, and can be dissolved in favor of a new marriage after one party receives baptism." Yet "Pauline Privilege" originated from Ambrosiaster (AD 370). No previous allowance was known. Afterward, most Church fathers rejected it. Not until the Reformation was the Church evenly divided. Today, most of Christendom accepts this premise, but demand for such divorces has equally multiplied; hmmm.
"Divorced and remarried couples not having received an annulment aren't permitted to receive Communion unless they agree to live as brother and sister." In other words, they can still cohabitate and mislead others. "They're still encouraged to attend Mass and raise their children in the Catholic faith." Certainly they're encouraged to remain Catholic; otherwise the Church could not get their donations. So the Catholic Church is quite heretical regarding Divine Holy Matrimony.
Along with many Protestants, some Orthodox leaders have used the NIV text, which perverts fornication (specific) in Matthew 19:9 and elsewhere into "marital unfaithfulness" (very general). Quoting an Orthodox priest about Christ's sole injunction of divorce for adultery only:
"I've never seen cases not involving adultery; whether cathexis in another person or thing, such as alcohol, drugs, work, et cetera or putting their spouse in a secondary position as a result of infatuation, obsession, and/or controlled by power, wealth, addictions, careers, mental illness, et cetera. In those cases, economia (second and third marriages performed by "economy") is applied, in concern for people's salvation." Rather, "people's salvation" is code for making money, their church profiting on every subsequent marriage. Other Orthodox groups have a process called "Ecclesiastical Divorce", which is annulment. Summarily, divorce for everything but perfect marriages. Another sophisticated dunghill made to hide behind and avoid the light of Christ's simple teaching. Heresy indeed.
Defining Marriage and Annulment
Marriage is a legally recognized personal union entered into by a man and woman intent upon sharing their lives together, and which establishes rights and obligations between the spouses, their in-laws, and future children; a covenant between a man, woman, and God.
Specifically, marriages are put together by God through the State and the couple's consummation. Before a legal marriage ceremony can be performed, one must obtain a marriage license from GOVERNMENT AUTHORITIES. When legally married person seek divorce they need a JUDGE to nullify the marriage. Religious leaders do NOT issue legally binding marriage licenses and never had any legal authority to grant a divorce.
Furthermore, the institution of marriage predates recorded history. Marriage in some format existed in ALL societies and was practiced by ALL cultures. Since marriage was not originated by religious tradition, religious leaders have no right to alter it whatsoever.
An annulment is an official pronouncement which declares a marriage invalid. Here are examples of legitimate annulment and why: Annulling a gay marriage or one where a spouse discovered that they married someone of the same sex compares to buying a car, getting its title, and receiving a boat instead. You undo the invalid transaction. Annulling a marriage to someone who lied and said they were never married before is like buying a car, getting its title, receiving the car, and finding out that it's stolen. You undo the invalid transaction.
A VALID transaction is a never-married and unrelated man and woman whom a judge recognizes as married and who consummate their marriage. Christians must obey the law unless it violates God's law. The difference between getting legitimately married and buying property is that you cannot sell or trade your spouse and get another one; marriage is for life.
Most annulments are granted because one spouse wasn't a Christian believer when they married the first time and is now, one spouse feels that the other spouse is abusive, or the first marriage was not celebrated in church. But annulling such marriages is like saying that the deed to your house is invalid because you were not a Christian believer when you bought it, you are unhappy with your house, or the house wasn't purchased from the Church.
Religious leaders who grant unscriptural annulments are heretics. And anyone who got married on the pretext of an unscriptural reason must repent. After 1970, around two hundred annulments were issued for every one annulment issued at previous rates. Hence, the Church rapidly apostatized regarding marriage.
Protestant Divorce
Some Protestants claim that "the Church forgot other legitimate reasons for divorce." (Why?; see John 14:26, Cor.4:17, 2nd Pet.1:12-13, 15, 3:1, and chapter XIV (14) on my website: www.thezap.net ). Protestants sometimes appeal to the Old Testament although Christians are only under the New Testament.
"Besides adultery: *emotional and physical neglect (in Ex.21:10-11, affirmed (supposedly) by Paul in Corinthians 7. *Abandonment and abuse, included in neglect, affirmed (supposedly) by Paul." But what happened to Tim.5:11-12 and Cor.7:27? These reasons based on emotionality should be repudiated, since it's the Church's job to care for needy people and their children.
"Jewish couples listed these grounds for divorce in their marriage vows and ancient Jewish documents shed light (No, Christ shed the light: John 1:1-9) on divorce and remarriage." Don't scrap Christianity to feed your desires! Consider those chapters in Scripture that warn about judaizers. Christ specified that His ideas on marriage and divorce superseded ancient Jewish customs. Therefore, these ideas are quite heretical. Others proclaim "Whatever you did before obeying the Gospel doesn't count." So if you stole somebody's car before obeying the Gospel, you can keep it; this brand of Christianity is apostate.
Paraphrasing from Origen's Commentary on Matthew Chapter 24 (AD 245): "Our Savior does not at all permit the dissolution of marriages for any other sin than adultery alone. Someone might ask if He allows a man to divorce a wife for other reasons. For example, what about poisoning her husband? Or what if she destroys an infant born to them? Such heinous sins seem worse than adultery and enduring them appears irrational. However, acting contrary to the Savior's teachings would be blasphemous."
Besides, divorce harms the jilted spouse, who is sent into the world as an emotionally upset person who may consequently seek someone else's spouse or vent their anger on others. "What about the children?" Besides children of divorce having higher rates of divorce, children should see that adults can endure whatever problems arise without quitting.
Moreover, spouses are disowned for only a microscopic fraction of the incompatibility that we sinners have with God. We can believe Christ, who said that husband and wife are no longer tow, but one flesh, or listen to today's leaders who wilt before other's desires. Christianity wasn't meant for earthly comfort or convenience; it's sacrificial. Jesus said "Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me." Take up your cross did not mean wear a miniature cross around your neck every day; crosses were execution devices. We have no more right to desert our spouse than parents or children have the right to disown one another. We must nurture the relationship even if it kills us.
However, though men marrying divorced women, men divorcing their wives and marrying others, and divorced women marrying again are condemned by Scripture, some assume that men divorced by their wives are ineligible for remarriage. But actually, no scripture condemns that, since men are the marital head, unless they sever that via adultery. Women do not have authority over men.
Alternative Authorities for Marriage?
As the same-sex marriage debate rages, some show interest in separating marriage and state, ending government sanctioning of marriage, and states no longer issuing licenses or defining marriage. This would supposedly end all debate. There are basically two proposed alternatives:
One is each individual defining marriage as they please in a free association, which would be fornication, not marriage, according to Christianity. So would living together to form a "common law marriage." Although everyone can have their own definition of marriage, Jesus Christ already defined it long ago, and explained it to His disciples.
The other is leaving marriage to today's religious institutions to enforce their definition. However, each one might define it differently and only recognize marriages performed by their particular group as valid. This could be as chaotic as free association.
Besides, severing marriage from the government would separate parents and their children from government benefits. Instead, those with common viewpoints and goals could band together into one large organization to eventually succeed from their country. Forming one's own country to benefit likeminded people would be spectacular.
Supposedly, for eons of time, marriage was a private contract between two families. Some advocate "returning to the ancient tradition," which may have consisted of one tribe of cave-people giving away a young cavewoman to a young caveman from another tribe in return for mastodon meat. But with a third party initiating the union, having witnesses, exchanging arrowheads or seashells, and scratching on a rock to mark the occasion, you have a legally binding marriage with a contract. The cave-people collectively would be the State and its government. Although we might not recognize their State in view of our large complex bureaucracies, such scenarios would be state sponsored marriage, not free association.
Solution to Marital Problems
Summarily, historical Patriarchal, Jewish, and Christian constructs had five major responsibilities for each spouse, which held marriage together. Wives were responsible to provide meals, had the foremost responsibility of home maintenance, had to regularly provide sex, had the foremost responsibility of raising children, and had to support their husband's decisions. Husbands were responsible for financially supporting their wife, children, and home, cherishing their wife and supporting her emotionally, being the family's physical protector, willing to die for his family if necessary, taking on all projects requiring strenuous physical labor, and decision-making leadership within families.
Although marriage was never a fairy tale experience, it worked. To maintain healthy marriages, preachers and social workers plead with people to respect and love each other. This is a stopgap solution, like the legendary Dutch boy who put his finger in a leaking dam to stop his village from being destroyed by flooding. It won't work for long because of humanity's fallen nature.
Changing the laws the eliminate "no fault" divorce and other social ills is required. Disallowing divorce except for cases of adultery, legally enforcing historical Christian conduct, and repudiating feminism is mandatory. For in depth analysis of feminism, see chapters XXXI-XXXII (31-32) on my website: www.thezap.net. Also see the video: Why Marriages Fail Today:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuyxGuZueW8
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Most Helpful Opinions