Search Results: expressing your feelings relationships

LONG STORY SHORT: I’m in an abusive relationship his ex beats up any girl he tries to talk to we met at work. We started off as hook up. Me to get away from my abuser ( feel stuck) him I guess he felt lonely. He didn’t care at first and then we would start arguing like couples do and he’d be mean id be mean however we never stopped talking. We work together by the way. So he’d get drunk tell me he wanted me to be his id say I wanted him to be mine but when brought up sober he’d deny deny deny. So I’d deny but I secretly had feelings for him. So we went out downtown and he called me baby in front of a group of guys because they were looking at me. I finally the next day asked about why he called me that and he denied denied and then I asked him again during text and told him to chill out about being so defensive because I liked it which he replied with “ mhmmmhm” which he not replies like that when he has nothing to say but wants to say something. After this incident he starts to look scared of me acting nervous not looking me in the eye and kinda avoiding me but still trying to get my attention at the same time. So then I asked if he cared about my situation and he said “ why did u want me to care, cause I don’t” but I could tell he did. Next day he kept bringing up my abusive boyfriend and kept asking why haven’t I left yet. And what I’m waiting for. I then tell him I’d rather be with him which he turned around looked very shyly and said “ well your still with him so...” and tried to his whatever he was feeling ( he can’t express his emotions well we’ve talked about it) now he’s acting EXTREMELY ODD now and awkward and shy. Why is this?

I have noticed a lot of negative reactions to telling people how you feel-if you feel love. Even though posts are always about being honest with your feelings --unless you're in love, then lie.

If a person says they want to tell someone, people just argue against it when it doesn't even have anything to do with them.
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I think if a person has the will ad hope to tell someone the truth then they should be encouraged. I get if it individuals feel cowardly towards it themselves, but to act like its important wisdom to threaten against it for someone else, is odd.

i always encourage people to be honest especially when they already want to lol

i get if if they have known them 3 days and are delusional. but i've seen posts from people in love for yours , getting responses like well maybe hint you like him / her. or don't expect him/ her to like you you might scare them off.

im pretty sure anyone going to say they are in love has definitely considered it won't be reciprocated, especially if they are discussing it before hand. AND if its not reciprocated, well, isn't it BETTER to know and move on instead of waiting around bc you are afraid to be honest?

its not as if rejection improves over time, you just waste time, falling deeper in love... What is the point?

you certainly get rid of players and sex scavengers, plus opposite of it weakening your position. being honest off the bat takes away controlling element. there is, in relationships an often unspoken threat that someone will be the first to fall or worse SEEM like they have fallen in love and 'you know how people get'. well if you are upfront is no longer a mystery. its there and nothing crazy is happening. they can't hold over you that you might fall in love.