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It is absolutely essential to a healthy relationship that you are able to discuss with your partner the things that matter, how you're doing in the relationship, and what you see for your present and future. Often times people will lie about these things or think they are being nice to their partner by not telling them how they really feel, but this can be the beginning of the end for your relationship. Here are eight things that will end your relationship.
1. Not being honest about wanting/not wanting/not being able to have kids
Generally when couples get a little older and start thinking about putting down roots, kids become a big deal for some people in terms of whether they want them or not. In the dating world, a lot of people feel like they can eventually change their partners mind when it comes to kids, or they'll lie just to keep dating someone they know does not share their idea of what their future looks like until things blow up at the realization that this was something that one or both of you are unwilling to back down on. Also knowing you can't have kids, and lying about it, can also come back to bite you because you may assume that your partner will be understanding that you can't have kids, which was the reason for the lie, but he or she may not be. It may be the ultimate deal breaker for them especially if they made it clear up front that they wanted biological children.
2. You cheated
You can lie about this one, but things have a way of coming out or coming back to haunt you. Granted, telling the truth about your cheating, can also end your relationship, but adding further insult to injury, lying about it and keeping up the lie for weeks, months, even years, will only add to the level of betrayal you are committing against someone you claim to love.
3. You're doing "everything" all the time
Have you ever been in one of those fights where your partner blurts out, "you haven't done anything around here! I'm always having to do everything." Well, that may come as a complete shock and surprise to your partner who probably assumed things were good or was totally oblivious to the fact that they weren't pulling their weight. Part of being in a partnership is being able to talk to your partner (especially in non-fighting times) about how you're going to share your responsibilities in your house and in regards to your pets/children/finances. If you truly feel like you're picking up all the slack, let them know and then let them know how they can help you to no longer feel like that otherwise have enough of these fights and your partner will find someone who will pick up the slack without a fight.
4. You really didn't want to move
When it comes to big decisions like deciding to move across country or the world, you need to be honest about this one. If you were born somewhere and you intend to die in that somewhere, then let that be known. You cannot help the way you feel and should not feel guilty about wanting to be near your job, family, and friends you love because often times without them, if one partner didn't want the move, they are a huge reason that you can come to resent your partner for "forcing you" to leave what truly made you happy. On the flip side, if you did agree to move for a short period of time and then come back, your partner needs to definitely honor your agreement or risk it blowing up your relationship.
5. You fail to disclose your issues
We all have our thing that we deal with. Maybe it was abuse in the past, maybe you loved to drink way too much, maybe you have major issues surrounding your family, maybe you have major health issues. Whatever it is, these things have a way of creeping into our lives and wreaking havoc, not just on ourselves, but on our partner. Let them know what you're dealing with and what you're going through because you can't expect them to know or be able to help you when you fall, if they have no clue. Be especially vigilant when it comes to thinks like your mental or physical health issues. Lying does both you and your partner a huge disservice which may be a major downfall of your relationship.
6. You're not truthful about your job/money/debt
Money is one of the most cited reasons for issues in a marriage. We all need money to survive and when you don't have it or you're always struggling to get it, it can put a major strain on a relationship. If you're struggling, don't wait until you are 20K into debt before telling a partner and don't enter into a relationship without being honest about your job/financial situation.
7. You're not happy in the bedroom
This is another area in a relationship where communication is key. If you are not honest with yourself or your partner about what you do or don't like in this area, they are probably going to assume things are great especially if you are the type of fake it because you think that won't hurt your partners feelings. How is he or she supposed to feel when they find out you don't actually like what it is you thought they did in the bedroom? You don't have to be mean, just sit and talk to them and be open and honest about what you do or don't like.
8. You're not honest about how you see your future together
Whatever your dreams, goals, and aspirations for the future are for you as an individual and for you as a couple, be very honest about this or risk relationship death in the long term. If you want to go back to college and move to Alaska and race snow dogs, don't say you're totally fine with living in Arizona. You and your partner need to be on the same page with your dreams for yourselves and for one another so that when one wants to do X, the other supports, and vice versa, and then you share your joint dreams together. You cannot surprise your partner after 10 years of being together and then tell them you wasted your life rather then doing what you wanted to do. That's unfair, especially if you never expressed that.
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