What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

This may have existed long before this generation, but I think things have gotten progressively more complex as we've "complicated the narrative" of traditional gender roles. It's something that can really confuse a lot of men as well as women and I think having clarity can really help people understand what's expected of them and why it sometimes feels like they're being pulled in two different directions.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

Let's start with ladies first. It's becoming increasingly obvious that two contradicting things that are both general and yet are absolutely true: if you, as a woman, trust in the male gender to take care of you, you will get f*****. If you, as a woman, try to become an independent woman at the expense of all nurturing and domesticity then guys will generally replace you with a more "housewife" type of female. So, you have an increasing amount of financially secure and yet loveless women who are perplexed why they have the benz, the fancy condo, the big job title, and yet they're looking at 40 and have no man.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

This is because, at least in part, of a confusion as to what is expected of women in relationships nowadays. Men increasingly expect a woman to have a touch of the masculinity. And, by this I mean, we are increasingly expecting women to provide for themselves, take care of their own emotional needs, and be emotionally stable and fluid enough to break off relationships at a moment's notice despite having good relationships being, at one point, used to be the cornerstone of what it meant to be a woman.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

And women are increasingly taking this further and further. Many women forsake relationships for career advancement and security. They're increasingly having difficulty community and articulating their emotions and emotional needs, they're cheating more openly and with far less shame, and they increasingly have "orbiter" guys to step up if their guy decides to break it off quickly and thus ensure their own "emotional invulnerability" at the cost of a sort of vulnerable dependence that I think is inherent in all very serious relationships if there's really going to be trust and love.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

We can't blame women for this since we've come to expect it not through verbal demands by by men simply no longer feeling obligated to provide these things for women. When you deny someone something at first they'll be confused and lost, but eventually they will find how to get it for themselves. Now, you have a lot of men crying about it saying they want to give a woman all of that, but actions speak louder than words and they know that the modern young male doesn't feel it's his duty to do this for his lady like his father and grandfather did with their girlfriends and wives.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

Let's quickly circle back to men. It's becoming obvious that two contradicting things are true for men as well: that if you are extremely independent to the point of hardly if ever showing your emotions you will eventually get f****** probably in the form of an expensive divorce. Yet, if you put your emotions and sensitivity at the forefront of your life then women will come to respect you less and possibly replace you for a better provider OR pick up the slack themselves and come to resent you in a so profound a way that they themselves only experience it subconsciously.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

In this way, men are increasingly expected to have a touch of the feminine. And, by this I mean, men are expected to provide emotional support, openly express their good and bad emotions, and show vulnerability and engagement at all times throughout the relationship. Gone is the tough guy husband who just provided for the family and kept to himself when it came to how he felt about things. Instead, men win girls hearts more and more by "being fun, a willingness to show true emotion, an aptitude to provide emotional support, and an ability to put in huge amounts of time together as a couple.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

And men have taken this pretty far as well. Men are losing focus on their careers, starting to crumble under the weight off too many emotions, and lacking the proper emotional distance to see their relationship from an objective perspective and therefore create problems where none exist. And we can't blame men for starting to become like this, because women are providing these things less and less so men are forced to become their emotional caregivers in a way.

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

And so the problem comes full circle with men and women both utterly confused and often times even angry about the situation. Women get angry that they spent all this time NOT being a needy dependent housewife and they're getting treated like they're too masculine to date. Men get angry that they spent all this time NOT being coldhearted douchebags and it's come to bite in the ass with all manner of emotional distress. It hurts, then, to be treated like you're being too much of the opposite gender of yourself when at the same time it seems so clear to you that's what they wanted...

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

But that's not what they wanted. The youth generation is more open to a HINT and even that is a grey area honestly. Do I want to feel obligated to provide a life for my girlfriend? Do I want to pay for every bill of my one day wife? No, not really. But, do I also want her at home cooking meals and doing laundry? Do i want her there at the end of a particularly bad day to tell me I matter? (lol.) Yeah, that'd be nice. And do women really want an unfeeling guy who just works all the time and provides but doesn't even act like he remotely likes them? No, not really. But, do they also want a man who can be the voice of reason in arguments not even more emotionally distressed than they are? Do they want a man who can earn more than them and be able to put work before a problem in the relationship and can always keep an eye to the future rather than be bogged down by too many feelings of the past? Yes, that'd be real nice.

So, my humble answer is that if you want to embrace traditional gender roles in the 21st century then you must learn to inhabit both a masculine and feminine spirit. You need to put your own "gender role" first, but you must also have the ability to reach into the opposite gender role when it's needed. Clearly, you cannot be both at the very same time so you have to learn how to switch in and out. Women, work during the day but also try to be there for your guy afterward. Men, show your feelings, but also realize a little bit of emotional distance so you can focus on your responsibilities as a man and as the "leader" of the relationship. Develop your "opposite side" but never forsake your own gender's traditional roles or else things will get really really confusing. And, of course, there's always the option to forgo traditional gender roles completely...

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

The above girl is more subtly masculine: She doesn't seem like you can easily tie down (independent,) but also VERY feminine

What You Need To Understand Right Now About The "New Gender Expectations" Before You Get Utterly Confused

The pic above is (hopefully) more subtle. He certainly spent time on his wardrobe and appearance, but still conveys strength, determination, and an ability to handle himself emotionally at all times


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This was very interesting

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is somewhat accurate.

    For women, they want to be independent, strong and all that. However, that makes them less marketable to the males. They would be fun as a girl friend or a sex friend but never as a wife.

    I mean the guy will at some point think if the girl he is dating will be a good mother to take care of his kids. Sure he will chip in and help but she has to be motherly at least.

    However, there are only so many hours a day and successful people tend to spend more time at work than at home (image of husband working late anyone?). That might be okay with a non-working partner but if both parents work like maniacs then nobody will be there for the kids.

    The reverse is also true for men. Gone are the hard-boiled detective chasing his one target and forget about the wife waiting for him at home.

    Men are expected to be emotionally available and to actually be available. They can't hide in their work and say "I work to put food on the table!". They don't want to and they certainly don't want the working mom with nobody taking care of the kids either.

    Some men compromise. Some just go with the liberal sex the single women are offering.

    Still, I don't think it's a bad deal. Because the other extreme is Japan. It's the country with the perfect gender roles that have gone into the gutter.

    Japanese women studied for degrees, worked and stopped working for marriage. Once married, they become full time housewife... the nightmare version.

    Husbands are expected to work overtime, for his family and all that are expected of a man. He would work early and come home late.

    The wife would prefer the husband come late after the kids slept and she would sleep in the kids room. The husband sleep alone.

    The husband exist solely to provide for the family and only meet his kids for weekends and mornings. The wife exists solely to do housework and take care of the kids.

    Both are miserable in fulfilling their duties.

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What Girls Said 7

  • How about people stop telling everyone what they should do and what they shouldn't do, and instead let the do what they want to do. Isn't that what "equality" is supposed to be about?

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    • You’re totally missing the point

    • I'm not reading all that. I see "new gender expectations" and I don't care to read it. Just let people do what they want to, maybe?

    • this is like reading a can labeled instant baby formula and saying "i don't think they should be able to sell babies in cans"...

  • I personally like my women feminine. Not that I expect them to wear dresses. But why pretend to be a man and act like one. And wear clothes that hide your figure. I myself do bodybuilding, and like to stay fit. But not to the point where it's just try hard. I'm petite and feminine, and like to look cute, aswell as casual and neutral sometimes. But I'm not trying to imitate men and their looks. Because why should I?

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  • Hmmm this is all opinion and theory. Sure this is true for some people. I'm into guys that are very masculine but also care about their appearance and words like a girl. As a bi person, I also am into girls that are super feminine but... nah actually i've been trying to think of a masc trait i want a girl to have but i can't come up with anything but maybe intelligence. See, it all depends! This isn't fact fact fact you've written right here, but it is something that a lot of people should keep in mind. Good myTake

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  • I am not confused :-)

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  • Interesting take!

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  • Times are changing.

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  • Understand each other, yes.

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What Guys Said 20

  • I don't think you do need to have both a masculine and feminine spirit. Just because other people want that gender neutral bullshit doesn't mean you have to. If you think you have to do that it's probably because you too have been influenced somewhat by feminism, and what you're looking for isn't really traditional gender roles.

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  • Traditional gender roles worked for millenia, why try to fix something that isn't broken? That doesn't mean every woman should be chained to the kitchen or that men should have to be stereotypical gym bros with emotional problems. Traditional gender roles help guide us to become better at mating, taking care of kids and keeping the species afloat.

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  • Problem is that nowadays women wants to have all the benefits of being a man while keeping the benefits of being a women and rejecting all the disadvantages.
    They want their men to be manly while being submissive, gentleman while being bad boys, hard to get but easy to keep.
    They want to be picky, but they want to have a large choice.
    They want equality, but only when and where they want.
    Of course, at some point, things will go wrong, and when it will, they'll blame men for it.

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  • I don't give a shit about the new gender roles.

    I don't date girls that can't cook and post too many selfies. Period.

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  • Very nice take. We need to find the balance. Everyone is off kilter with everything ranging from politics to lifestyle choices.

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  • When the risk outweighs the reward. Have seen the misery of marriage and destruction of divorce... so it's not a surprise guys are adjusting

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  • No. Just, no. You’re utterly clueless. Women are perplexed that they have the dream job, yacht, and Lamborghini and are pushing 40 and still don’t have a man? No shit? That’s not what men are looking for! You’re projecting your desires, you hypergamous idiot! I suggest you educate yourself in basic male/female nature and sexual market value. Much of this fuckery can be linked to the lies sold to women by feminism. Sorry for getting a little heated, but the ignorance baffles me. Women, DO NOT CHASE YOUR CAREER OVER STARTING A FAMILY! YOU WILL END UP ALONE! FEMINISM LIED TO YOU!!

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    • lol you are clueless and out of touch with reality my dude

    • Holy shit, just realized you’re a dude. I could’ve forgiven your ignorance if you were a female, but that’s not the case here. I don’t even know what to say. I suggest you take some red pills.

  • Nah...

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  • Wut?

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  • You are a very strange man

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  • Why thank you, Einstein.

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  • Interesting article.

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  • Nope...

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  • Interesting

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  • So much fag.

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  • Into the oven with all that.

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  • ill answer all this real simply
    FUCK SATAN AND FUCK TRANSGENDERS
    I know what this is leading to eventually they will try to mix with animals
    cause its basically the next step

    Jasher 4:18
    And their judges and rulers went to the daughters of men and took their wives by force from their husbands according to their choice, and the sons of men in those days took from the cattle of the earth, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and taught the mixture of animals of one species with the other, in order therewith to provoke the Lord
    but Noah found grace in the sight of the Lord

    as it was in the days of Noah so shall it be at the coming of the son of man

    all Glory Belongs to Jesus Christ above the waters
    no excuses anymore

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI0MVd7q5t4&t=79s

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  • "Yet, if you put your emotions and sensitivity at the forefront of your life then women will come to respect you less and possibly replace you for a better provider OR pick up the slack themselves and come to resent you in a so profound a way that they themselves only experience it subconsciously."

    Good God that is so true. Being a naturally sensitive man I was told in my youth that it was "okay" to wear my emotions on my sleeve. Well is NOT! Fuck no, women SAY they want that, but deep down they see you as weak.

    When I started pursuing female relationshis I got obilerated with that personality. I would always manage to get my foot in the door, occassionally get laid but girls would quickly get turned off in the long run.

    I really wish I was raised in more traditional, even brutal upbringing where I was taught the old school way of keeping a stone face. I finally figure this out in my late 20s but it sucked for so long.

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  • That was an interesting read. I think I see your point. Basically partially drop traditional gender roles and replace that empty space with traditional roles of the opposite gender. So, I should drop something that originally related only to men and replace it with something that originally related only to women. I do believe that every person should drop expectations from society and just go their own way. No matter which path we take we will all miss out on something anyway. The amount of couples will probably drop, but at least people won't be pressured into doing something they are expected to do. If I want to cry in bed after a long day, I should not feel ashamed of myself. And I should not be expected to give all my effort and money to my wife either. If my potential partner is not happy with that, then go look for someone else. Oh, and keep feminists and their pussy marches off the media and streets.

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  • hey utterlyconfusedlol was my old gag username!
    how bout that.

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