Search Results: when guys say she is hot

I’m germ-aware. I know what germs are and have had phases of Germophobia so I know how it feels to be disgusted, grossed out and uncomfortable thinking about germs. I am very much germ aware, and my Germophobia will kick in when it needs to. During Covid, we were all germaphobic. I believe post Covid. Some people are ridiculously germphobic to the point where I find it quite obsessive and it makes me cringe. I feel that women on average aren’t as germaphobic as guys. Guys are most of the slightly homophobic to a degree. Don’t believe me go to the bathroom and if you see five urinals in a row, it’s just a code. guys always pick 1,3,5 or every other urinal unless it’s really busy, we’re pissing next to each other. A better example is dudes sharing drinks with each other. So the thought of sharing drinks with another guy’s germs are cringe but, if it were a hot girls water dudes will oddly gargle it and swish it around. Not to say women aren’t germaphobes but, I feel like woman are more rational about their germaphobia. I just don’t want to stress over germs more than the next guy because the next guy is making me stress over germs way more than imaginable, and doesn’t stress weaken, your immune system therefore, it’s possible to blame somebody’s flu they caught from Germophobia. Don’t get me wrong. It would be nice. If everywhere they serve food they were gloves and it would help but I live in Philadelphia the best cheesesteaks you’re gonna get, they are not wearing gloves! Every pizza you ever had the guy never wear gloves I do understand. Pizza is a little more safe, because after the pizzas out the oven, he’s just cutting it on the box and barely touching it, still no gloves, though. It really irks me the people that have to say something, “ are you not wearing gloves?” Like if I was with somebody and they asked the person who handled our food a question like that I would expect the guy that handles our food to spit in it next time.

I'll give you an example: I was out working, doing food deliveries. I went to a restaurant to pick up an order. I had been there once before. The girl working behind the counter was really pretty. She was the same one who was working there last time I came. The first time I saw her, I was kind of in shock and awe of her beauty; so I didn't say anything, of course. Just made the transaction and got out.
This time -- the second time -- I remembered her (of course; how could you forget an angel like that?); but I had had enough time to process her existence and emotionally deal with it, and I had already grown a cold heart about her. (Because that is my modus operandus: noticing beautiful girls and growing a cold heart. I'm very emo.)

So I had my poker face on (which is what I wear to ensure that a hot girl doesn't think that I like her.) Unfortunately, my poker face is actually a Resting Bitch Face. So it may come off as a bit unfriendly. Maybe she might have even thought I was scowling at her. (I wasn't, really; I was just trying to cope with my internal angst. And I guess that ends up showing on the outside. The darkness in my heart and the pain in my soul.). But truthfully, I don't hate her. Not at all. I just hate myself for not knowing what to say to a woman.

Anyway, I noticed that she seemed a bit cold and rigid herself. So maybe she was mirroring the energy that I was giving off towards her. I was a bit surprised, though, and kind of embarrassed. I felt bad, because I thought that maybe I had taken it too far and come off as a bit TOO intense. I never wanted to come off as mean or rude. Just "not interested," that's all. All I wanted was to hide and camouflage my attraction and infatuation with her.

So, what do you guys think? Did she know that I liked her? Did she see through the mask, and was she annoyed that I was hiding it?
Or did my deceptive maneuver work (too well) and did she actually think that I disliked her?