Search Results: importance of looks

You might have seen my posts under the name VNMC. The truth is for the past 6 months I have been living with my grandparents, basically after I graduated from univ. I have extreme social anxiety and I convinced my parents I would prepare for exams for higher studies while being with gramps though that was BS, I just wanted to avoid getting a job so i could avoid meeting people. Till my third year of univ, I had a great life and was somewhat outgoing but it all changed in my final year. I got caught in the toxicity of the internet and became extremely self conscious, I started realizing the importance of physical appearance and I was extremely ugly back then-bad skin and had tanned too, tired eyes from not sleeping, unibrow etc basically typical cringe looking indian guy and when I thought about the bullying and treatment from girls I liked till my high school days, i used to have coping mechanisms before but I realized later the truth. Being aware has made me go a long way from there physically but I have extreme OCD, BDD and always had tourettes which got worse now. The last time I went out was mid December when I went on a date with a girl I had met on tinder (and then too I went out for real after some time with a lot of courage) and she well, rejected me for a second which made me even more self conscious and I haven't been out since. All I have in my room is a study, my laptop, a bed and an attached washroom. My life is just being on these forums, eating my meals and sleeping, nothing more than that. Its 3:30 am here and its really gotten to me over the past few days what a loser I am

This wasn't a question but a confession, put it in mytake but no one reads mytakes